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Home: The Toast

To: Katie; Allison;; Lily; Hannah; Caitlin; Ashley; Morgan L.
From: Ali
Date: March 19th, 2013
Subject: Jen’s Bachelorette!

Hi Ladies! (including friends and bride’s obligatory cousins we will later ostracize!)

SO excited for Jen’s bachelorette party weekend!!!!!! We are gonna get so cray, lol!

Logistics: Let’s plan this near a holiday weekend, but not on a holiday weekend, so you still have to take multiple days off work!


Las Vegas/ AC


Southern Portugal (Northern Portugal is SOOOO college, LOL)

What’s that country near the Somali pirates??

Jen’s parents cabin upstate, which is my least favorite, but I thought I’d throw it out there if anyone’s on a budget

Obvi there will be mandatory stripper, pole-dancing, and how to blowjob while stripping and pole-dancing classes we will partake of!

I think this bouncer who texts me randomly should be able to hook us up with VIP rooms at clubs, lol.

What do you guys think????

– Ali

“It’s a Wednesday night baby and I’m alive!” – Lena Dunham, Girls


To: Ali

CC: <Kate Work>; Allison;; Lily; Hannah; Caitlin; Ashley; Morgan L.

From: Katie

Date: March 23rd, 2013

Subject: Re: Jen’s Bachelorette!

AHHHH Hi Ladies!

Sorry I’m replying literally five days later I’ve been so busy at work and forwarding this email to everyone I know complaining about you! Paris is not a viable option for everyone, Ali, we don’t all have rich boyfriends sooooo fuck you.

Anyway literally so excited about Jen’s bachelorette weekend!!! It would be super fun and chill if we could do the cabin house and here’s why: some of Jen’s cousins and friends from her high school years will probably feel more comfortable there… BUT OBVI like that so sucks so if just us 5 wanna go to SoPortugal like, another weekend, I can totally do both!!! Just looking out for everyone!!! Do we wanna do the cabin??? Let me know your thoughts.

Also for the summer I’m available to so the weekend of July 14,15 or August 29,30 but I’ll have to leave early on the 30th because I have a thing.


– Katie


To: Katie

CC: <Kate Work>; Allison;; Lily; Hannah; Caitlin; Morgan L.; Ali

From: Ashley

Date: March 23rd, 2013

Subject: Jen’s Bachelorette!

Hi Ladies!

Yes! Amazing. I am super in. As much as I love the cabin we should definitely do SoPu because this is a special occasion…(hopefully) JEN IS ONLY GONNA DO THIS ONCE!

I am free in late June…other weekends would be hard for me to go. 

Love it, love you!



To: Ashley

CC: Katie; <Kate Work>; Allison;; Lily; Hannah; Caitlin; Morgan L.

From: Ali

Date: March 26th, 2013

Subject: Re:Jen’s Bachelorette!

Hey pretty ladies,

There are soooooo many people’s schedules to accommodate, lol!  It looks like August 30th- September 2nd works for everyone!!!! Jen is REALLLLLLLLY excited!

South Portugal it is!!!!  It should be SO cheap when we’re there because tapas are tiny and I hear we only have to tip 5% there.

For plane tickets – I haven’t done any research, but here are some links to “travel websites” –

Also – for hotels we should look into – I heard they have some good deals!


ps – We better brush up on our Spanish for Portugal!!!!!!!


“It’s a Wednesday night baby and I’m alive!” – Lena Dunham, Girls


To: Ali

CC: <Kate Work>; Allison;; Lily; Hannah; Caitlin; Ashley; Morgan L.

From: Katie

Date: March 29th, 2013

Subject: Re: Re: Jen’s Bachelorette!

Hey ladies,

I am loving all of this!!!! Thanks Ali for really taking the lead here!!!! You’re so lucky you don’t need to work!! Jealz.

A few things:

I can definitely COME, but I’ll get there sooo late on the 30th so is this okay? Also not sure if I can get out of work on the 3rd but there’s a $1763.00 price increase to fly home on the 2nd so let me update you when I figure it out, I really hope my boss isn’t being a total bitch and tells me I can’t take a (totally legal) day off …. thus forcing me to miss this FAB trip!

Something that Jen really wants to do is go to a cute bar. Are there any cute bars in the area?? I did a quick google of cute bars in south Portugal but I’ll have to cross check with yelp reviews. Do bars have the same grading system there as they do in NYC? Gonna be amaze.

ALSO!!! (Sorry for the novel email btw)

It’s not too late to change plans. We COULLLLLD go to the cabin house with everyone and make it really cute (skinny girl margs anyone??) and do south Portugal in a few years??? (maybe right before Jen and Rob start trying for a baby / when we all start making more money?)

BUT DEF let me know, open thread here ladies!!! Anyone’s ideas are welcome :) how about the weekend of July 14th?

​That’s it from me! LMK.

Love you all so much and can’t wait to see you pretty girls!!!!!!! Xoxoxoox

– Katie


To: Katie

CC: <Kate Work>; Allison;; Lily; Hannah; Caitlin; Ashley;; Ali

From: Lily

Date: March 30th, 2013

Subject: Re: FWD: Jen’s Bachelorette!

Hi Ladies!  We’re set for SoPu!!!!  I just bought everyone’s ticket already, LOL, so you can each just paypal me what you owe me. Does anyone know if our hotel will have sheets and blankets and towels and flat irons or should we bring with???  LMK!  – Lily

ps – Attached is a spreadsheet of gifts I think everyone should buy for the bride!


To: Lily

CC: <Kate Work>;;; Lily; Hannah; Caitlin; Ashley; Katie; Ali

From: Allison

Date: March 30th, 2013

Subject: Re: Jen’s Bachelorette!

AMAZE!!!  Does anyone know how to get to the airport in NYC???????????

<3, Allison


To: Allison

CC: <Kate Work>; Allison;; Lily; Hannah; Caitlin; Ashley; Morgan L.; Ali

From: Katie

Date: April 2nd, 2013

Subject: Re: Re: Jen’s Bachelorette!

Hi ladies!

Okay so this sounds SO fun! Glad we were able to get everything worked out to accommodate everyone’s needs and schedules! So great. SoPu will be the best, I think Jen will really love it!

Thanks to Lily for purchasing tickets that go back on the 2nd. Not sure if you saw my previous email about there being a 1500 dollar cheaper ticket if we flew home a day later BUT I understand people have lives and jobs to get back to, lol, such busy girls we are! Life moves fast!

I did a quick check on the hotel site and it looks like the suite we are getting has all of the sheets and bedding we need BUT I can’t imagine what kind of action goes down in those beds so on the safe side, if everyone wants, we can each pack a separate suitcase with all of that stuff. Don’t wanna take chances! It is an extra $75 per suitcase on the flight but I think it will be worth it. Since there are 9 of us, I think we should be safe with 4 flat irons so LMK via email who is bringing one (and don’t forget to reply all).

FOR PACKING. Not sure of the weather so make sure you bring the following:

bikini if the hotel has a pool (indoor or outdoor)

going out bag (mini) for clubs, big bag for day trips

tanning oil

a coat if it gets cold

cute scarves??

comfortable shoes but also heels for night time

Jen mentioned hiking???? but i dont want to do that

Jill, do you still get perscribed ritalin??? i will pay you for some

nail polish remover/nail polish (in case we need to touch up manis, not sure if SoPu has nail salons

phone charger that will work outside the US (google this, not sure)

xanax for the plane

Am I forgetting anything??




To: Katie

CC: <Kate Work>; Allison;; Lily; Hannah; Caitlin; Ashley; Morgan L.

From: Ali

Date: April 3rd, 2013

Subject: Re: Re: Re: FWD: Jen’s Bachelorette!

Hi Ladies!!!

There are TOO MANY EMAILS going around!!

– Ali

“It’s a Wednesday night baby and I’m alive!” – Lena Dunham, Girls


To: Ali

CC: <Kate Work>;;; Hannah; Caitlin; Ashley; Katie

From: Lily

Date: April 3rd, 2013

Subject: Re: RE:  Jen’s Bachelorette!

Agreed!!!  Let’s only respond to each person directly!

– lily


To: <Kate Work>;;; Hannah; Caitlin; Ashley; Katie: Lily

From: Ali

Date: July 23rd, 2013


SoPu was SICK!

First off, sorry I drank too much! i feel like my limits are dif over international waters!

:/ You guys are like my sisters!!!  (If I had sisters I’d refer to them as “you whore” and never their names). 

I’m going through our pics now and can’t wait to tag all of you!  Just a heads up, I will only pay attention to the ones where I look hot and you might look unflattering but I’ll say you look cute!

Does anyone remember Marcos’ last name????  No bigs, but he’s not returning my texts and I may have mono!  (Sorry again to Katie for locking you out of the room!)


PS — Can you guys send me checks for the remaining $$ you owe me from the trip?  Can’t wait to see you all at the wedding!!!!!! 



“But you’re an animal/Baby it’s in your nature..” – Robin Thicke


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Caroline Moss is the deputy editor of culture at Tech Insider. She's also written for the New York Times and Cosmopolitan. She's tweeted over 100,000 times. Michelle Markowitz is a comedy writer, storyteller, and bachelorette party apologist in New York. She can be found subtweeting Cory Booker @michmarkowitz.

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