This Week in Reading: French Women

Screen Shot 2013-08-18 at 1.17.59 PMPrevious installments of This Week in Reading can be found here.

French women don’t get lupus french women don’t have food stuck in their teeth french women don’t lose their keys french women don’t slouch french women don’t buy movie snacks french women don’t molt french women don’t need to shave their toes french women don’t indulge french women don’t sleep alone french women don’t read xojane french women don’t forget to wash their makeup brushes french women don’t have eating disorders french women don’t ask their boyfriends hypothetical questions based on satc situations french women don’t buy pre-sliced mushrooms french women don’t wear linen pants without ironing them french women don’t get facelifts french women don’t do it in the road french women don’t want to get married french women don’t want french women don’t let their gum spill out into their purses french women don’t buy cheap shoes french women don’t finish whole bags of chips french women don’t use strollers french women don’t have sticky hands.

french women don’t live in algeria french women don’t live in les banlieues french women don’t put their delicates in the washing machine french women don’t work in the sex trade french women aren’t refugees french women don’t have bra sweat french women don’t need bras french women don’t wear bras except balconet bras french women don’t work out

French women take one thing off french women don’t throw out shoes they get them resoled french women don’t take twenty euros out of atms french women don’t look at car accidents french women don’t get fired french women don’t care what you think french women don’t eat over the sink french women don’t sag french women don’t sweat french women don’t perspire french women don’t need him french women don’t forget you’ve met french women don’t need you to remember them french women don’t mistake basic courtesies for affection french women don’t live in morocco french women don’t smile inappropriately french women don’t take too long to come french women don’t come too quickly and want you to hurry up french women don’t leave floss hanging over the edge of the trash can french women don’t get fat french women don’t put on socks because floors are dirty french women don’t wash the floor french women don’t need people to wash the floor french women don’t have floors that acquire dirt.

French women don’t spend too much time at work french women don’t have cats who excrete french women don’t have dogs that shed french women don’t stare across the void french women don’t have too much space between their breasts french women don’t live in les zones urbaines sensibles french women have the right amount of space between their legs french women don’t come in brown french women don’t come in black french women don’t ever listen to the smiths and cry french women don’t find themselves born with male genitalia french women don’t drink wine without food french women don’t buy paper napkins french women don’t suffer from the soft bigotry of low expectations french women don’t grow old and sad and die french women don’t appear on the street on bad days french women don’t eat tissues to stay thin french women don’t get promoted french women don’t french women.

Works Referenced:

French Women Don’t, Work in Retail (Pay retail | Steal formula)
French Women Don’t, Wear Hijab (Get hemorrhoids | Need wheelchairs)
French Women Don’t, Feel God’s Love as Once They Did (Limp | Fear sleeping alone)

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