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Home: The Toast

Previously: Bachelorette Party Emails.

To: Katie; Allison; charlotte.smith857@gmail.com; Caitlin; Ashley; Nicole S; Morgan L.; Jen
From: Ali
Date: August 14, 2013
Subject: they see me brunchin’

Hey Ladies!!!

It has been WAYYYYY too long since we’ve had a girls brunch!!! I miss your pretty faces!!! Plus we have SO much to catch up!!!! AND I MET SOMEONE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

So ideas!!!

Lavo/Bagatelle Party Brunch — I think it’s like $200>
Pastis/Balthazar – Old school LOL!
I read in NY Mag that there are lots of cute restaurants in Williamsburg now!!! That might be fun????
What’s that place with the $1000 omelette??
Sarabeth’s of course! Right near my apt LOL

When should we do this?? Saturday?? Sunday??

XX Ali


“I am not pretty. I am not beautiful. I am as radiant as the sun.” – Katniss Everdeen, The Hunger Games

To: Ali; Allison; charlotte.smith857@gmail.com; Caitlin; Ashley; Nicole S; Morgan L.; Jen
From: Katie
Date: August 14, 2013
Subject: they see me brunchin’

HI LADIES!

Wait Ali, I am obsessed with Hunger Games!!! Love your quote!!! Such a good movie and I hear the book (books?) are good too.

Okay so brunch!!! Yes!!!!

Is Williamsburg cute? I feel like it’s all flannel wearing guys lol no offense just not my type. BUT Brooklyn might be fun and like cute for instagrams.

Any of these places sound good but I think Jen is still doing paleo (right J?) and I know I’m doing blueprint next weekend and of course, Morgan is gluten something.

Let’s find a good place I MISS YOU ALL SO MUCHHHHHH ahhhhhhhhhh okay I’ll google.

xoxoxo

Katie

To: Katie; Allison; charlotte.smith857@gmail.com; Caitlin; Ashley; Nicole S; Morgan L.; Jen
From: Ali
Date: August 14, 2013
Subject: they see me brunchin’

Hiiii Ladies!!

Aww, Katie you are too cute with your Manhattan girl personality! I went to a concert in Prospect Park once and it was sooooo cute — like a mini Central Park! But I guess we’ll have to save our “Girls” adventures for another time LOL!

So many diet restrictions!! It might be easier if I pick a time and place? Let’s do this Sunday. I heard Bagatelle brunch is super fun, so let’s do that! It’s French food and French women are known for being tiny and smoky and not getting fat, so this should work for all of us! Plus it’s a party brunch (HELLO young Patrick Bateman types!) so we’ll have to wear tight ass dresses so we won’t really be able to eat too much anyway!

ALSO I WANT TO TELL EVERYONE ABOUT THIS GUY I JUST STARTED SEEING SWOONNNNNNNN HE’S LITERALLY TEXTING ME RIGHT NOW

I’m making the rez but have to put my card down, so speak now or forever hold your peace!!!!!!

SO EXCITED
XX Ali


“I am not pretty. I am not beautiful. I am as radiant as the sun.” – Katniss Everdeen, The Hunger Games

To: Katie; Allison; charlotte.smith857@gmail.com; Caitlin; Ali; Nicole S; Morgan L.; Jen
From: Ashley
Date: August 14, 2013
Subject: they see me brunchin’

LADIEZ!

This sounds so supes fun!! I AM SO EXCITED TO SEE EVERYONE AND HEAR ALL ABOUT YOUR BOY DRAMZ ALI!!!!!! AHHHHHH SO JEALOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Quick idea! Bagatelle brunch sounds awesome and Summer Fantasy 2013- but like, it’s supposed to be beautiful on Sunday, so what if we did a picnic in the park????? Like we could all bring different foods from Whole Foods in teeny cutesy portion sizes and lay out and stuff?? Might be fun! And I totally don’t mind spending a lot of money on brunches cause #YOLO and that’s the whole point of why we live in the city, but it might be fun to do something laid back and not spend so much???

Would anyone be down?? I can definitely help with organizing the picnic!!! :) My coworkers said there are big concerts in the Park sometimes too – so who knows, maybe we’ll see Simon & Garfunkel or Jessie Ware or something!!

LMK!!!!!!!!!
-Ash

To: Ali; Allison; charlotte.smith857@gmail.com; Caitlin; Ashley; Nicole S; Morgan L.; Jen
From: Katie
Date: August 15, 2013
Subject: they see me brunchin’

Girls!!!

Okay!! So loving the park idea but a few things: I woke up this am and it was like cold, so how many summer weekends do we really have left? Plus like, bugs. I know I am being a girl about it but why don’t we go lay out after bagatelle?? And we don’t have to go to the park. Soho House does day passes for guests and it’s less than $100 which is a good deal if we stay more than two hours!!!

Sound fun?

Wait Ali who is this guy?? I feel like you always have a guy. Not in a whore way! You’re just so social :) love it. Tell us all!

Love ya babies,
Katie

To: Ali; Allison; charlotte.smith857@gmail.com; Caitlin; Ashley; Nicole S; Morgan L.; Jen
From: Katie
Date: August 15, 2013
Subject: they see me brunchin’

Side note guys should I have a signature quote???

Debating:

‘Anything could happen.’ – Ellie Goulding

Or

‘Forget the haters cause somebody loves ya.’ – Miley

Katie

To: Ali; Allison; charlotte.smith857@gmail.com; Caitlin; Ashley; Nicole S; Morgan L.; Katie
From: Jen
Date: August 15, 2013
Subject: they see me brunchin’

YAY FOR BRUNCH!!! I’m down for either, but a picnic in the park and eating outside sounds SO HEAVY. I mean that’s cool if you like to eat like that, I just am in a really good place right now and would prefer to eat clean and holistically at Bagatelle.

AND OF COURSE you should have a signature quote!!!! It’s a fun and sassy way to be on-brand and create a bit of added content!

Jen

“Start out by aiming high!” – Sheryl Sandberg, Lean In
“It’s difficult for me because I light up a room” – Tierra, The Bachelor
“There are no facts, only interpretations” – Friedrich Nietzsche

To: Allison; charlotte.smith857@gmail.com; Caitlin; Ashley; Nicole S; Morgan L.; Katie; Jen
From: Ali
Date: August 15, 2013
Subject: they see me brunchin’

Hello Lovelies!!!

OMG Katie you are too funny! See, I wish I got to actually be single!! I feel like every time I am for a sec- boom! I meet a guy and he’s obsessed with me! His name is Mike and he is PERFECT and has some boring complicated works long hours job and a SICK apartment, which I don’t even care about — it’s just cool cause he has an amazing view. You guys totally need to come over – we’ll prob be hosting a lot of game nights this fall in between apple picking!

OK so Bagatelle it is!! I am making the intern make the rez. I hate to be a beeyotch but LADIES YOU NEED TO BRING CASH. SERIOUSLY. We are not doing a million cards, it’s so embarrassing. Nicole, I know you are super in debt, but can you see if you can get a cash advance from AmEx or borrow from your roomie or something??

Cant wait!!!!!!!!

XX Ali


“I am not pretty. I am not beautiful. I am as radiant as the sun.” – Katniss Everdeen, The Hunger Games

To: Ali; Allison; charlotte.smith857@gmail.com; Caitlin; Ashley; Nicole S; Morgan L.; Katie; Jen
From: Katie
Date: August 15, 2013
Subject: they see me brunchin’

HAHAH ALIIIII!

Just got your passive aggressive tweet telling me to answer your email, you are hilar.

Really looking forward to hearing about Matt (that’s his name right) and his view! Do you think he’s the one? Is he good at texting or no?? SEND A PIC, WOMAN! lol love it. I totally feel like I’m single because like, I want to be. I feel like some girls (obv not you) like guys just because they like them and they feel lonely and need someone. I think of myself as much more independent than that but like, neither is WRONG! Except I think what I do is healthier. But really, send a pic!

Bagatelle sounds really good but again, I’m juicing. Can I BYOJuice? Do you think I can take like one day off from the cleanse? It can’t be that bad right? LIke just one day can’t like, kill me lol. Right? Ugh cleansing makes me a betch. HA!

Also, Nicole, you still owe me $78 from bachelorette party for Jen so bring a little extra to cover that and we’ll be set.

CAN’T WAIT LADIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~K.

 

To: Ali; Allison; charlotte.smith857@gmail.com; Caitlin; Ashley; Katie; Morgan L.; Katie; Jen
From: Nicole
Date: August 15, 2013
Subject: they see me brunchin’

Hiiiiii girls!!!!

CAN’T WAIT I AM SO IN UNLESS I GO TO THE HAMPS THIS WEEKEND WITH MY PR FRIENDS!!! COUNT ME IN!!!!

And if I can go, I will totally pay you guys back, I am so bad with money LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!! OR wait, this might be fun!! I have store credits at Tory Burch and Intermix — can’t remember the amount, but would you guys want that instead??? Fun!!!!!

LUV2LUVUBABY,
Nicole

To: Allison; charlotte.smith857@gmail.com; Caitlin; Ashley; Nicole S; Morgan L.; Katie; Jen
From: Ali
Date: August 15, 2013
Subject: they see me brunchin’

DROP EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I was on twitter randomly just now checking his page and MIKE IS TWEETING AT THIS BUZZFEED WRITER CHICK AND I AM DYING!!!!!!!!

He keeps replying to her and she never responds and I am embarrassed for him but also like, hey? Totally here on twitter with you I SEE EVERYTHING, you just snapped me this morning and I THINK you sent it to only me, and it’s like that means NOTHING to you???

F IT. I’m just gonna twitter flirt with his boss now.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Katie – I will totally send you a pic when I have one of us!! We are facebook friends but he has crazy private settings so I don’t have any actual pics of him. He’s too funny!!

ANYWAY BRUNCH LET’S DO THIS.

I’M DEAD.

XX Ali


“I’ve got that summertime, summertime sadness” – Lana Del Rey

To: Ali; Allison; charlotte.smith857@gmail.com; Caitlin; Ashley; Katie; Morgan L.; Katie; Jen
From: Nicole
Date: August 15, 2013
Subject: they see me brunchin’

the WAIT LIKE wait which Buzzfeed writer? The one who does the lists about millennials? Wait I love those, and they are so true!!! ALSO like yeah, kind of rude of him to snap you and then like tweet someone else. is he faving her tweets? do they follow each other? what does he do, again??????????

we will PLAN REVENGE AT BRUNCH!

do you guys want the tory burch gift card in exchange for brunch? super cute stuff there right now you can totally find something!!!

Nicole

To: Ali; Nicole; charlotte.smith857@gmail.com; Caitlin; Ashley; Katie; Morgan L.; Katie; Jen
From: Allison
Date: August 15, 2013
Subject: they see me brunchin’

Should we reserve an Uber???? They prob book up a few days in advance, can someone research this????

To: Ali; Nicole; Allison; Caitlin; Ashley; Katie; Morgan L.; Katie; Jen
From: Charlotte
Date: August 15, 2013
Subject: they see me brunchin’

I’m down for an Uber! LOLOLOL

Charlotte

To: Charlotte; Nicole; Allison; Caitlin; Ashley; Katie; Morgan L.; Katie; Jen
From: Ali
Date: August 15, 2013
Subject: they see me brunchin’

Everyone needs to stop replying all ladies! Just email me and I will be the point person on this brunch.

xx Ali

“I’ve got that summertime, summertime sadness” – Lana Del Rey

To: Ali
From: Katie
Date: August 15, 2013
Subject: they see me brunchin’

Ali,

Wanted to email you without the others. Can we chat just us? It’s about brunch.

Katie

To: Katie
From: Ali
Date: August 15, 2013
Subject: they see me brunchin’

um, what’s up? you’re scaring me lolllll

XX Ali


“I’ve got that summertime, summertime sadness” – Lana Del Rey

To: Ali
From: Katie
Date: August 15, 2013
Subject: they see me brunchin’

OMG no sorry!!! Lol. I wanted to chat more about the juice cleanse?? I know Nicole said she might be in the hamptons but I feel like she’s avoiding me bc I said we should cleanse together and she said she couldn’t afford it and I MAY have said something like, ‘maybe it’s time to get ambitious about finding a better job’ which I totally meant as like a joke!!!! But now I feel like she doesn’t want to go bc of me??

I hate drama. Brunch is supposed to be fun.
Katie

To: Ali
From: Katie
Date: August 16, 2013
Subject: they see me brunchin’

Hey I feel weird that you didn’t respond to my email or my 9 texts and I also called you but no worries. If you think it’s best if I skip brunch I understand I didn’t realize Nicole and I would get in such a big fight.

Katie

To: Katie
From: Ali
Date: August 16, 2013
Subject: they see me brunchin’

Sorry for not writing you back, I’ve been insanely busy with researching chicks Mike has taken photos within Facebook graph. I’ve been thinking about it A LOT, and I think you should both attend brunch. I think it will be good for you two to patch things up and I will help facilitate that.

I just don’t want any dramz. I HATE drama.

Xoxoxoxo Ali

“I’ve got that summertime, summertime sadness” – Lana Del Rey

To: Ali; Nicole; Allison; Caitlin; Ashley; Katie; Morgan L.; Katie; Jen; Charlotte
From: Katie
Date: August 16, 2013
Subject: they see me brunchin’

HEY LADIES!

Where did we leave these plans? Nicole do you know about the hamptons yet? So looking forward to it all. Literally need brunch with my girls like I need air.

So much love love love.

Katie

To: Katie; Nicole; Allison; Caitlin; Ashley; Katie; Morgan L.; Katie; Jen; Charlotte
From: Ali
Date: August 16, 2013
Subject: they see me brunchin’

LADIEZ!

Brunch is on!! This Sunday. NOON. DON’T BE LATE.

Remember it’s a party brunch, so dress to impress! No last night’s eye make-up and Sunday morning walk-of-shame hoodies!!! Also, I’m wearing a neon peplum romper, so let’s try to coordinate!

It’s a boozy brunch – so I hope you ladies can handle yourselves. If you’ll be dancing on a banquette, you need to wear at least a Hanky Panky!! Most of us aren’t interns anymore! Keep it together girls. We are mature women of the world now. Also, what’s the Molly situation??

Nicole—you’re coming right?? It’s so cute how you want to like barter us for brunch money! You’re like Drizzy starting from the bottom!! ;)

BRUNCH. LET’S DO THIS.

Xoxoxoxo Ali

“I am not pretty. I am not beautiful. I am as radiant as the sun.” – Katniss Everdeen, The Hunger Games

To: Katie; Nicole; Allison; Caitlin; Ashley; Katie; Morgan L.; Katie; Ali; Charlotte
From: Jen
Date: August 16, 2013
Subject: they see me brunchin’

Note: Our insta/twitter hashtag will be: #BabesGoingHAMonBagatelleBrunch2013

Jen

“Start out by aiming high!” – Sheryl Sandberg, Lean In
“It’s difficult for me because I light up a room” – Tierra, The Bachelor
“There are no facts, only interpretations” – Friedrich Nietzsche

To: Katie; Nicole; Allison; Caitlin; Ashley; Katie; Morgan L.; Katie; Jen; Charlotte
From: Ali
Date: August 19, 2013
Subject: they see me brunchin’

BBs!!!!!!!

I’m SoooOooo sorry I couldn’t make it to brunch!!! My phone died and I ended up staying at Mike’s. It was so much fun!!!!!!! Hope you betches didn’t have too much fun without me!!
We need to plan a brunch soon!!!! Also—save the date guys: New Year’s Eve Weekend, 2014 aka my birthday weekend!! I’m thinking somewhere off the beaten path!

LOVE!
Ali
p.s. Random: does anyone know if you’re still vaccinated if you only have 1/3 of the Gardasil shots LOL??

“All adventurous women do.” – Lena Dunham, Girls

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Caroline Moss is the deputy editor of culture at Tech Insider. She's also written for the New York Times and Cosmopolitan. She's tweeted over 100,000 times. Michelle Markowitz is a comedy writer, storyteller, and bachelorette party apologist in New York. She can be found subtweeting Cory Booker @michmarkowitz.

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