You may or may not have noticed that The Toast’s official Twitter account (accept no imitations!) featured a brief call for female scientists last week. After it was RT’d eleventy billion (we’re not scientists) times, and we got a ton of emails from, like, dudes who don’t even read The Toast, we decided to talk a little more specifically about what we’re looking for.

Our dream is to have a recurring science column authored by a woman (all female-identified individuals are encouraged to apply) with a PhD in A Science of Some Kind–ideally one of the really hard ones–and a delightful, accessible writing style, who already reads The Toast.

This scientist would improve on the “hastily read abstract which tangentially mentions women, draw possibly correct conclusion and then blame penises” school of general interest lady-blog science coverage (this is not a veiled insult, we literally all do this.)

This scientist would answer questions from readers, write interesting pieces about developing science-related stories, provide advice on science-related employment and education and mentoring issues, and just generally be the sort of individual we wish was better represented in our public discourse.

This scientist, although usually aware she is writing for a general audience, would be allowed to write once a year about her own field in a really high-concept way that will bore most of our readers but please herself and entertain a few.

This scientist already has a real science job, because she’s amazing, but is energized at the prospect of being paid to write intelligently and amusingly for other women and supportive men once or twice a month for a neat website.

As we engage in our “She Blinded Me With Science”-scored cinematic montage of looking for the right female scientist, we will be running a bunch of one-off columns by female scientists, which we hope you will enjoy. Please tell us if you really really really like one of them.

Now, please share this on all of your social media so we can find our female scientist soulmate. If this sounds like you, please email submissions@the-toast.net (subject line: GAL SCIENTIST) with a writing sample, a CV, and a pitch. The pitch can be very casual and open-ended; we just want to get to know you better, know you better, know you better.