If you do not like the things we approve of, we suggest you revisit your stance. You are still allowed to like and/or engage in the things we dis-approve of, you are just wrong. – Eds.

The Toast Approves of the Following Things:

1. Taran Wanderer.
2. Taran Killam.
3. The new commercials with the “lazy phone” guy.
4. Dear Prudie.
5. Tea with milk.

The Toast Disapproves of the Following Things:

1. Robert Downey, Jr.
2. “It is what it is.”
3. Not owning a TV for reasons other than poverty.
4. People who say “I would just never forgive myself” about things happening to other people’s children.
5. The phrase but not the concept of “self-care.”