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Home: The Toast

Listen, you don’t need me to tell you to go watch videos on YouTube. It’s frivolous and frankly a little insulting: like you don’t already know how to find whimsical cover bands on the Internet? But I had to do this. I had to talk to you about the Tambourine Guy.

It’s…I can’t quite figure out the name of whatever band that is. Frankly, that’s a little embarrassing. It MIGHT be Postmodern Jukebox, but that also might just be the name of one of their channels. They do a lot of covers of pop songs in various old-timey musical styles, which may or may not be your thing. But they’re extremely good! The guy who uploads all the videos is called ScottBradleeLovesYa, if that helps. They always look like they’re having a lot of fun, and the piano player is good as tits at playing piano. But it’s the tambourine player who will change your life (I call him Tambourine Guy, but you can call him whatever you want). Who is Tambourine Guy?

Look at that dude. Look at how happy he is. Look at him. “He’s living his best life,” Nitasha Tiku of Valleywag told me over Gchat after I sent her the link with the caption “look at the tambourine guy.” She wasn’t wrong, either. Every one of the top comments on this group’s videos is about him.

“tambourine man loves his job,” Aimee Ray says.

“Dunno how many times I’ve watched this video, but the tambourine man never stops being magic. Shine on tambourine man. You’re a superstar <3” – Veezyjung

You want more? There’s more. He puts on a helmet in this one, because he is just that into it.

Right off the bat. Right off the bat. His eyebrows have more life in them than some human people I know. You remember the manic, dervish-like quality Ethan Embry brought to Empire Records? This guy is the Ethan Embry of tambourines.

What’s this video doing here? Sure, the singer is terrific, and her polka-dot skirt is aces, but Tambourine Guy isn’t even in it.

Wait. Hold on. Have faith. 0:42: TAMBOURINE GUY LEAPS OUT FROM BEHIND THE DRUM KIT. There he is! Doing tiger hands and trying to high-five the bassist, as sudden and as glorious as the sun. Thank God. He’s here. He’s here at last.

Tambourine Guy led me to leave my first-ever YouTube comment. No one’s upvoted it, but that’s okay. Learn from this man. Pattern your life after his. You are a champion. He’s going to hear you roar.

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