Text Messages From a Jack-O-Lantern -The Toast

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Previously, once: Text Messages From a Ghost.

October 21

hi
hi i hope im not waking you
but did you mean to blow out the candle just now

sorry who’s this
im outside
on the porch
i just
i wasn’t sure if you meant to blow the candle out or not
it’s really dark outside without the candle

do you want me to come out and relight the candle?
that would be nice
thank you

October 23

oh gosh oh gosh oh gosh oh gosh
what is it?
oh gosh
are you okay?
a leaf just blew in me a leaf just blew in me
a leaf?
yes
it just
oh my gosh i can feel it touching me

do you need me to come get it out?
please
oh gosh oh gosh
this feels so weird

okay
i’m coming out
thank you
oh gosh oh gosh

October 25

sorry if we woke you last night
it’s fine
i wasn’t asleep
i didn’t know you had a cat
he wanted to come inside
we had a disagreement

October 27

i forgot to say this before
but thank you

thank you for what?
bringing me here
i like it here with you

i’m glad you like it here
good
that’s good
if im ever
if you ever need me to do something different
you let me know
ive never been a jack o lantern before
just a regular pumpkin
so you let me know if im missing something

no you’re terrific
okay
okay great

October 31

oh gosh
big night
oh gosh
You excited?
i think i see one
i think i see one coming
get ready
are you ready?

I’m ready
but it’s still really early
I think we can relax
yeah
yeah you can probably relax
i don’t think it was one anyhow

theyll probably get here pretty soon though
right

oh yeah
definitely

November 18

WHAT IS THIS
WHAT IS THIS
ARE YOU AWAKE YET
PLEASE WAKE UP
WHAT IS THIS
what’s wrong?
what’s the matter?
MY HEART IS COLD
EVERYTHING IS COLD
MY INSIDES ARE COLD
MY OUTSIDES ARE COLD
EVERYTHING IS WHITE

oh
oh thank god
it’s snow
haha
is snow a joke?
no
not exactly
but it’s normal
you’ll be fine
okay
okay that’s good

want me to come light the candle?
PLEASE
i dont think i’m going to like winter

i don’t either
you could scoot me a little closer to the door
if you wanted
under the roof more
just while you’re out here

December 6

everyone else is gone
what?
everyone else on the block is gone
did you notice that?
im the only one left

no i guess i didn’t notice
lots of trees up though
have you seen them?
the window trees?

yeah i’ve seen them
youre not going to get one
right?

no
i’m not going to get one
okay
okay thats good

gosh im tired
you okay?
oh yeah i’m fine
its just really cold out
im just kind of cold
i’ll be fine though

you sure?
yeah
you want me to bring you another candle?
no
i don’t think it matters

you could still come outside though
if you wanted

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