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Would you like to read a book with your best friends William Carlos Williams and Emily Dickinson and Lord Byron and William Blake and T.S. Eliot? How fortunate for you that this dream will soon become a reality. Thanks to the combined and industrious efforts of Kate McKean (agent of self) and Allison Adler (editor of self) at Holt, the day is not too far off that you will be able to hold assorted, fictional text messages from literary characters who do not in fact exist in your hot little hands.

It will be very fun, and you will enjoy it, I can assure you. The road was long and the road was wearying but the world will not have to go without a bound aggregation of my jokes about the Western Canon for much longer.

(For those of you thinking to yourselves Oh dear, another Internet joke book; do I really have it in me to make another trip to Urban Outfitters, please rest assured that my second book will be a 600-page Russian novel. The themes will be infinitude and despair. It will be just a miserable experience, I promise.)

Sincerely,

Mallory Ortberg (writer of self)

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