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Home: The Toast

From the year 800 AD to 1450 the entirety of Europe’s approach to painting was “It’s impossible to know what an animal looks like, just draw a guy’s head on it.” This is their story.

MONK #1: what do lions look like in the face
i mean what do their faces look like
MONK #2: worried

worried lion

MONK #1: what does it look like when some people are far away
but some are closer
MONK #2: draw them all exactly the same size


MONK #1: are people the same height as castles
MONK #2: pretty much yeah


MONK #1: how big are most peoples foreheads
relative to the rest of their face
MONK #2: oh it’s 90% of the face, definitely
MONK #1: thanks


MONK #1: what size and also location are most human breasts on the body
MONK #2: pretty much anywhere
just jam em on the torso wherever




MONK #2: the important thing is to just always draw human faces on dogs
MONK #1: why is that
is that a dumb question?
MONK #2: kind of




MONK #1: what do whales look like
MONK #2: pretty much exactly like squirrels or any other animal
but in front of a blue background


MONK #1: hey so do human heads grow on big leafless trees a lot
or just sometimes
MONK #2: mm probably a lot


MONK #1: what do babies look like
MONK #2: ….huh good question
MONK #1: kind of like a very old man?
MONK #2: but also baboons

MONK #1: dang
whats a table look like
MONK #2: oh wow
MONK #1: i know right?
MONK #2: ahhh i KNOW this


MONK #1: can rabbits stand up
MONK #2: yeah
MONK #1: how big are books
MONK #2: like half the size of a castle
MONK #1: wow ur good at this


MONK #1: do you want to go get lunch
MONK #2: lets pray for four hours first
MONK #1: ok

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