If you do not like the things we approve of, we suggest you revisit your stance. You are still allowed to like and/or engage in the things we dis-approve of, you are just wrong. Previous installments can be found here. – Eds.

The Toast Approves of the Following Things:

1. TRAINS.

2. Kristen Stewart, no matter what she does.

3. Katharine Hepburn’s queerness as canon.

4. Bob Seger’s “Night Moves.”

5. Anne Helen Petersen leaving academia for Buzzfeed.

The Toast Disapproves of the Following Things:

1. When you make a list of, like, eight things you think are great, and someone says “I can’t believe you forgot [some fucking thing they like.]”

2. Houseplants.

3. Birds as pets.

4. Academia.

5. Saying “here is a thing I wrote” when promoting your work on social media. YOU ARE A HUMAN BEING WHO DID YOUR JOB. OWN IT.