You might as well get one, as there are very few other options.
Seven years ago, after losing a job in a spectacularly messy way, I walked into a salon and asked for a punk, French, pixie haircut, dyed both black and the most shocking pink possible.
When the stylist was finished, I looked in the mirror and recognized myself for the first time. It was, singularly, the best thing I ever did for the way I feel about my reflection on a daily basis.
This many years in, I can’t even tell you how many comments I get about how “brave” I am to have very short hair in a very bright color; how other women would love to cut their hair that way, but they just couldn’t pull it off, or their face is the “wrong” shape for short hair.
Those comments make me sad, because here’s the thing: You don’t have to look like anyone else to pull off short hair. You just have to be you, be okay with scissors, and enjoy the glorious sensation of a bare neck.
I went from having ass-length brown hair to that pixie cut. I understand the fear and consternation that goes into a big chop, as it were. It’s normal to be scared of making a big change—but for those of us who desperately want to cut their hairs, here are a few things I’ve learned along the way:
1) It’s easiest to start with the non-committal nature of wigs. Try on a couple in the length you are interested in. Try on at least one that is actually pixie length, just to see how it looks. Take a picture of yourself, sleep on it.
2) It may be wise to avoid talking about your decision on social media—you will inevitably get someone who doesn’t understand the concept of bodily autonomy, and will try to make you feel bad for daring to cut your hair. Surround yourself instead with pictures of beautiful, sassy, short hair. Fantasize about taking two minutes to wash it. Dream of the day when you will no longer get your hair caught on earrings. Bliss.
3) Go to a good salon (Yelp is very helpful for this). You will probably not get happy results from Supercuts—you want a salon where your stylist will be able to take time and give you useful recommendations, in addition to listening to what you want and what you are afraid of. For those of us who are financially strapped, give a beauty school a try—they are a very good and often overlooked resource, and you’ll be giving valuable training to someone who needs it for school.
My preference at this point is to get my hair cut by a stylist who *also* has or has had very short hair. They won’t talk me out of shaving the nape of my neck, and will cut my hair as short as I want, and do a very, very good job with it. Also, bring in reference photos. My current stylist has given me six cuts at this point, and I still bring in photos for her sake and mine.
4) Expect a couple of shitty haircuts. Short hair emphasizes the quality of the cut you received…good and bad. Prepare for said shitty haircuts with a few headbands and scarves on hand.
(Oh, God—I haaaaated this haircut (I think it was pretty! – Ed.) And naturally, it happened right before my ten year class reunion. It was just so…limp. Ick.)
5) Depending on your growth cycle, you will find that your hair looks quite different from week to week. Mine is two weeks of AWESOME! and one to two weeks of Oh, That’s a Thing.
6) Product is your friend. I use a spray wax by KMS, which gives incredible texture, dry shampoo, and a hair powder by Got2Be which, frankly, is my most favorite thing ever for my hair—it provides volume and hold without ever looking or feeling crunchy (My hair in this photo hung out all day just like that because of the hair powder. It’s like having a perpetual party on your head).
7) Fiddle with the styling. I often don’t like the styling I initially get in the salon, but after mucking about with it at home, I’m quite happy with the results. Try parting it further up the crown, or back towards your neck. How does the look change with your cowlicks and your hair’s natural tendencies? Part it on the left or right. Which looks better? Which stays in place throughout the day?
I usually start off with my hair parting forwards from quite far on the back of my crown. As it grows, that part scooches up to the middle, leaving me with nice volume in the back of my hair, instead of WTF happening up front. It also allows my bangs to maintain their shape without being burdened by that extra weight.
My current cut process goes as follows:
1) I get my hair cut about four times a year (for reasons of economics and hair health, since everything pink is bleached, and that way, the bleach only goes on new growth). I touch up the pink on my hair myself about once a month.
2) The first six weeks after the initial cut just involve parting my hair differently as it grows, everything else stays the same.
3) Eight weeks in, the hair on the nape of my neck is usually long enough to start bugging me. I begin twisting that hair up into bobby pins. I will also pull pieces of my bangs back in bobby pins at this point, and pouf them into flattering configurations.
4) Three months after the cut, I start using a curling iron to give volume to my hair, since its length is now weighing it down. I will often employ small rubber bands to create the tiniest set of pigtails ever.
5) I blissfully chop it all off again.
Take a deep breath. You are brave enough, and your face is the perfect shape for whatever it is you want to do with your hair. If you don’t like it, it is OKAY. Your hair will grow again, and who knows—maybe in the process, you’ll find a length and style that you absolutely adore.
Go on, girl. Give that cut you’ve been dying to try a chance.
(The author apologizes for the number of selfies that appear in this article.)
*
Picture credits:
(1) Stacy Joy Photography
(2) Author
(3) Author
(4) Author
(5) Author
(6) Higher Vision Photography
Tags: beauty, hair, pixie cuts, PUNK RAWK, r. rea
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Yes, do it, do it always. Even if you have a round face and they say not to. I was waiting until I “got rid of the pregnancy weight” to chop my hair off, and then I did it anyway when that weight hadn’t gone anywhere after eight months and the results were fantastic. I get so many compliments and it feels like my true hair. I recognized myself, just like the author said.
Please explain more about the nape-of-the-neck bobby pin thing? When my hair starts to grow out, that part flips outwards à la Carol Brady and drives me bonkers. There is no humanly possible way for me to make it lie flat. But I’m having trouble seeing how I could bobby-pin anything back there? It’s so short.
Also I really like all of your haircuts, even the one you didn’t like.
I ALSO have Carol Brady hair when my cuts grow out and let me tell you, there’s nothing to do but embrace it. I’d rather it lie sleekly flat or curve ever so slightly under, but since it will not, I must walk around pretending I meant to do it.
You can criss-cross two bobby pins to hold it there, I think. Twisting helps a bit. And if your hair, like my slippery hair, pops out of those pins as you move around, you’re going to have to put some sticky product on the hair or the pins or both.
Sure!
Sara Davis has it right below–I twist the small chunks of hair at the nape of my neck, criss-cross two bobby pins, placing the wrinkly side of the pin *against* my scalp, and this usually holds all but the tiniest (and most stubborn) hairs.
Also, flat hair clips work really well, too.
I have this weird spray-in texturizing/volumizing stuff from Avon my mom gave me once. If I use that then blow-dry, I can avoid the Carol Brady flip that my hair likes to do (because it is fine and light and not heavy enough to pull itself down anymore when it gets to about 2 inches from the end – though otherwise, it’s what you’d call stick-straight). Blow drying is a pain in the ass, though, so it’s not the best solution. Just a sometimes solution.
Yes, this too. Blow-drying with a bit of product and maybe a barrel brush can make fine, irrevocably straight hair lay a little nicer for awhile, like for a special event. And it is a pain.
Shut UP your hair looks so cooooool.
(1) You’re beautiful and your hair is stunning
(2) You know what, even though I already believed what you’re telling me, I keep coming up with dumb reasons not to get a short-short cut just yet. I’ve been having some fun playing with my now-longish hair but the moment I get bored with that, I’m definitely going all in on a pixie. Thanks!
HOORAY!
And thank you!
(you’re beautiful, too, short hair or long!)
I just cut off all my hair yesterday! My dad said that I look “like a dutch boy in drag, but in a good way.”
I think I’m going to eventually grow it into a bob, but it’s really nice to look a way that doesn’t feel societally approved.
PIXIES UNITE!
That is a top-star Dad comment geez 🙂
Holy crap, why didn’t I ever think of wigs as a commitment-free way to test out a drastic hairstyle change?
You are glamour personified. That last picture…yowza.
*blushing*
(no seriously epic blushing)
Haha, hairstyle evangelism! I had short hair once. it was less of a pixie and more of a “Huh. So *this* is the haircut I’ll get when I’m an old lady.” (curly hair reads “nanna” if you’re lucky and “clown” if you’re not.)
not to say that this will happen to YOU, fellow curly Toasties, but you could just get a sweet-ass side shave instead ahem ahem.
See, I am afraid that the girls will read “mop-headed toddler”, which is ALSO not a look I want.
Also, you know, short hair seems more likely to involve product. This morning I woke up, put my hair in a messy bun using the hair tie that was already on my wrist, and moved on with my day.
Yeah, I cut my very-curly hair short a few years back and I liked it, but had the unpleasant realization that nobody else really did. When I changed hairdressers, I said something like, “I want to keep it short but still kinda youthful,” and she disdainfully picked up a strand and said, “Well, it’s not like this is very youthful.”
Maybe I need to add pink stripes next time. 🙁
Next time that shiz happens, walk. out.
So unprofessional. 🙁
nah, man, you just have to go to someone who knows what’s up with curly hair. There is so much curly-hair malpractice at hair salons.
I had a curly-haired pixie and did not look Nanna, so I know it’s possible!
Yes! This is the magic secret: always request someone who specializes in curly hair.
And to check whether they do: ask them how they would cut your hair. If they say a wet cut, RUN AWAY
I loved this. Short hair makes me feel like me. And haircuts are the best. Something about the snip-snip sound of the scissors and the hair falling off… so incredibly soothing.
Aaaah I recognize your comments, without even seeing who wrote them…!
You’ve probably heard these exact words from me already. 🙂
lollll at the brave thing, it makes me want to walk up to women with long hair and whisper “YOU ARE A COWARD” to them
…I have been likewise tempted, O Mallory.
Oh God, people said that to me ALL THE TIME when I had purple hair. Like you, I just felt like myself. But apparently that’s a super rare thing to want to do? I guess people like not feeling like themselves in the mirror.
Orrrrrr they were saying “brave” sarcastically because they could not imagine living with the awesomeness of bright purple hair.
People seem remarkably comfortable with telling me that I must be “high maintenance” if my hair is so long, and also vain and selfish for not cutting it off for children. Possibly people should just stop drawing conclusions about other people’s moral character from the length of their hair, but I don’t know that that’s happening any time soon.
Wait, seriously, people say that to you??? >:(
*gag*
Can we all just wear shirts that have the definition of “bodily autonomy” on them?
I suppose I keep it long in some ways because it has meaning for me, so I can’t really be surprised when it has meaning for other people, but I can find it in me to wish they’d keep it to themselves, negative or positive. (I can’t say I appreciate the missionary who came up to me to tell me that “if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her”; I’ve read that part of the Christian bible, sir; I know how that ends.)
I know how that ends. Love that.
“…and also vain and selfish for not cutting it off for children.”
You could ask them if they have both their kidneys and, if so, why.
Like you, I just felt like myself. But apparently that’s a super rare thing to want to do?
Honestly, I think a lot of women have internalized the idea that looking “life myself” means looking unbeautiful. Really, it’s the other way around, but you don’t know that until you follow through with whatever your secret look is.
I have had short hair for about a dozen years, and when I look at old pictures from when I had long long hair, I feel like that long-haired girl is like someone I used to hang out with but drifted away from.
Yes! I feel like the way I am right now – longish brown hair – is fairly performative (need to find a job, need to find a company willing to sponsor me for a visa, so conservative is the way to go), but purple hair and red lipstick was ME. That was the person I see in my heart of hearts. I felt confident as hell like that.
I’ve promised myself that if I can find a job in the arts where they won’t care quite so much, I’m dying my hair navy blue. And getting two new tattoos. Because I really, really miss feeling like I look like myself.
I lived in a university dorm across the hall from a woman who “reached a new stage of enlightenment”, shaved her head, and went around telling other women that they were cowards hiding from their “true selves” behind their hair.
Short Hair Gospel: Yer Doin’ It Wrong.
I try so hard to reach a balance between “EVERYONE SHOULD CUT THEIR HAIR!” and “No, really, long hair is also awesome!”, because the point is to make sure the people around us feel happier about their bodies and faces when we are around.
You know?
I wear my hair very short and full on unfeminine – not a pixie but a glorious men’s style picked straight off of the American Crew website, and ever since my local training salon went out of business it’s been awhellno difficult finding a good stylist. Training places are super gender-neutral and I am not equipped to deal with the highly gendered landscape of regular salons. Everyplace I go to tries to cute me up (“We can just give you some cute bangs to peek out of your hat”) or the stylist is terrified to give the cut I straight up ask for (“I’m not comfortable cutting with a guard that short”). Y’all. And I’m not really comfortable going to a men’s barbershop and sticking out like a sore, butch thumb. I’ve been going to supercuts cause at least I’m only spending $15 on a mediocre, socially awkward haircut.
Oh, that must be so deeply frustrating. 🙁
Just awkward. But you know. WORTH IT FOR SHORT HAIR, YO. 😀
Ugh, I get that even going for pixies.THERE IS NO WINNING.
Have you had your stylist gush about how cute you would look with long hair while doing your cut? Because that one is always SUPER FUN.
I had one stylist talk at lengthy about how they hated cutting women’s hair short and wished they never had to do it. SERIOUSLY, Y’ALL?
Oh man. I would die for a Toast article about soft butches who manage to get their hair cut at barbershops.
How do you how? It should be easy in a place like NYC but I’m still terrified?!
This is one of the few areas in my life where my brain still goes: not butch enough or too femme for this. I hate it.
…Can you call the salon/shop ahead of time, explain what you’re looking for and your trepidation, and see how it feels from there?
That’s been my go-to for finding a stylist–I’ll ask them about their general approach, if they have stylists with very short hair, and if their stylists are comfortable with punk colors. It saves a lot of time and uncomfortableness in the long run.
Ah, calling ahead! That’s a good idea! I shall!
THANK YOU and thanks for the wonderful article 🙂
(I covet your silver sparkly POW-shaped headband/pin in the last picture)
I hope it works beautifully for you, honey!
The sparkly POW was from a fabric and notions store in LA’s fabric district–I backed it with felt, wired it, and sewed alligator clips on–couple of bobby pins, and it stayed in place through four hours of dancing at our wedding reception!
There is a guy hairdresser in my town who wears makeup, I have no idea what his identity consists of other than the visible but man he is raking it in from all the non/awkwardly defining folk who want a haircut to the point where his self-presentation could plausibly be a sales strategy it is so successful. I realise ‘look for a male haridresser in makeup’ is not dead useful advice tho.
I get my undercut touched up at a barbershop, Made Man on 23rd St near 7th Ave. You might want to check it out! When it’s busy, I feel out of place among the other customers, but the guys who cut hair there have NEVER made me feel uncomfortable/weird for a second. I have seen other women there as well.
Made Man looks amazing and I love that it’s in Chelsea. Thank you so much for the advice!
I get my hair cut by a woman at a barber shop. I was (am?) too nervous to call people up and my area has good yelp coverage, so I mostly just read a lot of online reviews. My current barber shop is the fourth place I tried after a normal salon (pricey and I didn’t feel like they took my request for a short haircut to heart), a different barber shop (felt kind of out of place), and Supercuts (varying levels of comfort going short depending on who cut my hair).
Besides general good reviews, I was looking for signs that they weren’t super invested in being a Manly Barber Shop for Men. Some (by no means foolproof) examples were: barbers being described as nice/willing to listen, women barbers, reviews from women who got short haircuts there, and an environment I felt comfortable in (it sounds superficial, but I like that the place I go to has pretty bare-bones decor). My presentation is such that I get read as male sometimes and I get a boring haircut so unfortunately I don’t have any advice on not being seen as butch enough for a masculine haircut.
Thanks for your sharing your experience. It’d be great to find a barbershop with a woman barber (how did I not know that was a thing? duh) and I’ll definitely keep an eye peeled for them. And decor and ambiance do matter at a place you have to go to every month and be a little vulnerable in (+10 if you have to take you eyeglasses off and are sensitive about being touched).
Also your tumblr is the bestest. Yay poetry and fuckyyournoguchitable.
YOU GO TO ASTOR PLACE BARBERSHOP and ask for the lady stylist there. she is down. i can attest. sorry to yell i have a lot of feelings about my Barber Situation.
My husband’s fantastic barber shop in Chicago REFUSED to cut my hair when all I wanted was an English schoolboy’s cut, like Prince William aged 11. And this was a shop in goddamn BOYSTOWN. Thanks for nothing, barbers.
Some tips for where to look, kinda dependent on where you live:
Some bonafide barbers may advertise as “unisex” salons
Non-chain, sole proprietor hairdressers
If you’re in touch with a local lgbt crowd (in person, or online), ask for recs
Yelp? (People use Yelp, I’m told, but I don’t know much about it or how reliable it is)
nonpixie solidarity. yes. I spent I think a good two years of getting my hair cut every 4-6 weeks and asking for a men’s haircut each and every time before I got someone who was both willing and able to do what I asked for (“make me look like a sullen poet who is about to go off to get his legs shattered in the trenches of World War I”) and stopped using the P word at me. now of course I am growing it out like a sucker.
I am sure it varies a lot by region and ability to communicate with stylists, but one of the big problems I have is that I think hair people are much more willing to acknowledge what you’re asking for if you look, to them, like someone who “ought” to have a men’s haircut. Masculinity is for me a pure stylistic and aesthetic affectation because I want to look both good and tough at the same time; I would be happy to appear butch but I’m pretty sure that I don’t. and on top of that I have a big rack and a softer face than I’d like, so it’s really common for people to assume that I am a confused woman who doesn’t know what a pixie is called rather than take me at my word.
[edit: but I made it harder for myself than it had to be because for a long time I tried to describe it without using the words “men’s haircut” out of stubborn adherence to principle — you know, like, are those men’s boots you’re wearing? WELL, I OWN THEM AND I AM A WOMAN, SO THEY’RE WOMEN’S BOOTS BY DEFINITION, AREN’T THEY, you know the kind of thing. I resent the necessity of calling it that to make people understand you. NO I do not want some stupid fluffy wavy razored sideburny things because I am terrified of sharp corners and hard lines, thanks though.]
I want to print this out and hand it my next stylist and be like, “WE GOOD?” Yes, I know I have a soft feminine face and a rack/hips/ass, but from the eyebrows up it is 100% SULLEN POET DESTINED FOR THE TRENCHES all the way.
Or, in comics (By Rianna Finch) form: http://riannafinch.tumblr.com/post/70457575789/ye…
THAT COMIC. FOR LYFE.
I am trying to decide whether I want to chop all my hair off for summer and this is definitely helping! Maybe I should try to find that tumblr of fat ladies with pixie cuts again.
Meanwhile, my mom was asking for haircut advice yesterday and I recommended she get it cut to collarbone length and she paused and went “Isn’t that kind of short?” NO, MOTHER, IT IS NOT. Goddamned hippie.
Yay!
Honestly, it is *all* in the cut; even super-super short pixie cuts look beautiful on beautifully fat ladies–a good stylist will work with your facial features and give you something spectacular.
This is also part of my encouragement to try on wigs, because it’s cheaper than haircut experiments.
Do you have any suggestions on where we should go if we want to try on wigs? My, uh, friend, wants to know.
[I got an a-line bob after 9 years of having layered hair that fell to my bra line, and the bob goes from my hairline in the back to 1.5 inches past my collarbone. It’s a big change for me and I’m still learning that it’s okay to have bad days, but sometimes pixie cuts still speak to me…. ]
This is going to sound weird, but for my money, nothing beats wig shops in Jewish neighborhoods
(Married Orthodox women wear wigs every day, and they are QUALITY).
See if there is a conservative or Orthodox synagogue in your area, and then look for nearby wig shops.
Also, a standard theatrical costuming store works pretty well, too.
(My favorite in LA is Cinema Secrets)
I’ve also found that just looking at wig-supply web sites is a great way to imagine different hair cuts, because they’re more “every day this is how an average person looks with hair” than “here is a salon style book full of people with the most product imaginable on their follicles”
This one? http://fatgirlsshorthair.tumblr.com/ I’ve been spending a lot of time on it lately looking for photos to take to my stylist.
Yes, that was it! Thank you!
Repeat viewings of Sylvia Scarlett led me to chop off all my hair again, and I could not be happier. Short Hair is my Spirit Hair! I play with my hair ten times more now than I did when it was long, as the growing number of hair products on my bathroom counter will attest.
I’ve done did the Faux Hawk, Bed Head, the David Lynch, the Clark Kent, the Tilda Swinton (David Lynch with hella sass), the Gozer (for maximum 80s awesomeness), and the Sylvia Scarlett for gender bending joy. After the Veronica Mars movie, I added The Mac to my hairstyle rotation as well.
Short hair haters to the right (’cause I part my hair on the left)!
Nooooo this is not what I need to be reading right now! I’ve had short hair for the vast majority of my life, and the past 10 or so years have basically been pixies in varying states of kemptness. I can ROCK a pixie like nobody’s business. However, I’ve been painstakingly growing my hair since last January, and it’s finally reached my shoulders, with an ultimate goal of waist. I need to STAY STRONG and refuse the seductive call of the pixie.
JOIN US. WE HAVE COOKIES.
…and wine.
But it’s really, really okay to do you when it comes to hair! Grow it out, lady–eez okay.
Mainly I’m doing just to see what having long hair is like, what I even look like with long hair, and how that changes my self perception. But part of me believes I will always be a pixie at heart, and I will forever support any and all ladies considering getting the chop.
pixie on one side, waist on the other! 😉
Brilliant!
…I mean, if Natalie Dormer can do it… 🙂
Just curious, why is your goal your waist? I don’t understand long-hair goals, other than “long enough to pull back.”
It’s complicated. There are a lot of braided styles I want to be able to do, and you need a certain amount of length for it to be possible and look good. I also think that length would be the best in terms of my body shape; it’s long enough to feel really long without getting out hand. It also helps to have a hard goal in mind so I can continue to keep my hair in good condition and stay away from the scissors (I also have a long history of anxiety-hair-cutting, like “I had a bad day, let’s fill up the sink with hair because that’s a good idea” hence all the pixies).
Oh man, I totally understand the anxiety hair-cutting. And the braids sound awesome!
Just remember how much it costs to maintain a pixie!
Unless you’re like my bff who just hands the electric shaver and a #4 guard or whatever size it is to her mom and says GO AT IT once a month. But she has an amazing head and her hair naturally sticks out super straight like a hedgehog or something so it works for her. (But she’s also recently decided to grow it out. Mostly so she can have the satisfaction of cutting it off again, tbh…)
Honestly, one of the best things about having long hair that’s not layered or otherwise cut in any particular way (I have bangs, because I never got around to growing them out from the bob I had when I was four) is spending zero money on haircuts. I also use almost no product (though I would kind of like to – it’s fun!) because my hair is too long to be “textured” or whatever.
Yep. I go to HairCuttery or wherever once every few months when I notice that my split ends are gettting out of control, have them chop off a couple of inches, give them $20, and move on with my day.
Same here. I loved my short hair, but I want to be able to wear a ponytail or a braid for once and go more than a month without a haircut. It has taken me literally four years to get it to touch my shoulders so cutting it short would be a pretty long-term decision, but pixie cuts are so cute!
I spent most of my adult life with short to waaaay short hair before I got super lazy about haircuts when I got pregnant and just let my hair grow. I’ve cut and grown it a couple of times since then, and I still feel like my Actual Self has short hair, but man, long hair is easy. No haircuts (though I trim my own bangs), back in a ponytail if I don’t feel like messing with it, I can do stupid twisty pinned things if I feel inspired. With short hair, I had multiple products I needed to use to get my super-straight hair to do anything but lie down and get stringy, but the critical mass of long hair makes that lying-down look purposeful.
You can still have short hair in your heart. (I tried to spell those “heair” and “hairt,” so.)
Don’t throw your hair goals away for the sirens!
The Pixie-cut will always be waiting for you, it can wait a couple more years. Go and explore the long-haired secrets of the world first. (Can you tell I’m trying to convince myself to keep growing mine too?)
I’m in the exact same boat. But I think the pixie is going to win out very soon.
I am not digging my pixie cut right now. I got it on Saturday and I feel like it is first of all a “meh” cut and second of all does not make me look as gorgeous as I KNOW I AM DAMMIT.
Here is a picture right out of the salon: http://hello-the-future.tumblr.com/post/818079722…
Here is a picture after I messed around with it and added a headband: http://hello-the-future.tumblr.com/post/819176167…
Suggestions encouraged.
Honestly, my first reaction was, “OOO! You are CUTE!”
And then “YOU ARE SO CUTE OHMYGAWD.”
…I hope that’s an encouraging suggestion.
You adorable minx.
Awww thanks! The cut is so incredibly textured that it requires tamping down to avoid the Brillo Pad look.
(Also, I don’t actually know what a Brillo Pad is, I’ve just heard it is the right metaphor to use in this case.)
The hair powder I use might be useful for you, too–it’s really weird at first, but it makes your hair incredibly pliable and cooperative.
Good to know! Right now I am using Garnier pixie goo. I’m sure it has another name. 🙂 Sometimes I use Got2B Play on my hair instead.
I think your hair is adorable! B,ut you could try going even shorter the next time you get it cut. I have a pixie that I wear super short (when cut, my longest hairs are maybe 1.5″) and you definitely could pull that off! Your current hair length is how mine is when I am a week away from a haircut and it feels like it wants to get poofy all the time and drive me crazy 🙂 (For reference, I have pretty curly/frizzy hair if it is long, so I cut it reallllly short and use a tiny flat iron on the front bits and styling wax to keep it in place)
YUP, I definitely think this cut errs on the long side of a pixie. 🙂
I think it’s cute as is, but I don’t have any good suggestions (I’ve pretty much always had long hair.) That being said OMG I like your glasses!!
I think the “right out of the salon” photo suffers from your hair going in like eleventy thousand different directions. Rather like my eight-year-old nephew, adorable as he is, when he rolls out of bed in the morning. (Granted, when I see him after, I want to just pet his hair ALL DAY so maybe not a bad thing, but probably why you’re unhappy with it.)
I do like the second one, where you’ve smoothed down the front and combed it to the side. I’m really partial to that look, though, and have a version of it myself with the inverse bob. (See below.) Perhaps try playing with that a bit and different variations on it? There are sooo many adorable little hair pins you can get, and I adore the glitter-covered bobby pins my mom got me for my birthday last year, to keep my bangs out of my face when I’m at work. Just a little stripe of teal or purple or orange glitter, they’re fabulous and apparently cost $3 for a dozen.
Thank you to everyone, I feel less weird about my hair now. 🙂
May I suggest a powerbrow? For real, the pixie pops with super strong eyebrows for some reason. Love the headband look.
I had never heard the term “powerbrow” before. That is awesome. Thanks!
I was actually going to suggest that, too! (but no pressure at all to do makeup if it isn’t your thing)
I started defining my brows with a dark brown eyeshadow when my hair went super short, and I think it balances the look really, really well. Give it a whirl!
UGH the face-shape thing, everybody who says that and thinks they are COMPLIMENTING you by saying you are a special lady who can wear the same standard haircut that 95 percent of boys and men with all different shapes of face wear with no fuss and no special permissions – just like everyone who says that some women, special women, have “great skin” and can thus “get away” without wearing makeup — everyone, I say, everyone who says that, literally believes that every man in the modern Western world is as beautiful as Narcissus and has a face composed of perfect poreless planes shaped like equilateral triangles, because of course they must, to be able to, all of them, “get away” with their short hair and their bare faces, while we women, we under-people, are lumpy like pockmarked potatoes [1] and must veil and disguise and mask our repulsive misshapen visage with whatever stuff we can drape over it or stick onto it and that’s just how it is, because we weren’t born as sleekly beautiful as the dawn, like all men were, every last one of them.
[1] some of us are, ok.
HAhahahahaha
Related:
Why does “Professional Attire” for women include makeup and complicated hairstyles, but not for men? Why isn’t my simple ponytail okay?! It’s neat and keeps my hair out of my face so I can work, and that dude over there has his hair in a ponytail, too!
(I saw an old biker guy with his hair in a french braid once. He did it himself, even, because he liked it. A+ french braided hair dude.)
Seriously. It bugs.
PREACH IT
A+ Excellent comment
Well, but remember, women exist solely to be decorative and aesthetically pleasing to men; men have no such burden of beauty. So it’s less that men are all perfect and less that their looks aren’t their most important feature.
Stupid patriarchy.
adversarial complaints from a lazy person: short hair is so much more WORK than long hair! not to mention that unless you’re willing to go through gross growing out phases regularly it usually needs cutting about once a month.
Again, it’s why I specifically talked about what to do with the growing out stages–bobby pins, pigtails, clips–it’s the same amount of work that goes into medium or long hair, but I get weeks of two minute hair before having to futz with it.
Even after the six week point, it’s pretty rare that I spend more than 5-10 minutes on my hair.
Short hair is not necessarily more work; at least, it isn’t for me. I’ve never had really long hair (longest I’ve ever managed is just past my shoulders), but I have just enough wave to my hair to make it a frizzy mess all the time. I could never get a nice looking curl, but to wear it straight meant using an iron on it every morning and it’d be a bird’s nest again by noon anyway. I HATED my hair and could never do anything with it. I dreamed of getting it chopped off, but I always thought I “couldn’t” have a pixie cut because I have a very round face.
Finally, a couple of years ago I went in to my stylist with a picture of Ginnifer Goodwin’s pixie cut, and ended up with the best, most manageable hair I have ever had. The wave I could never tame is just enough to give my hair awesome texture when it’s super short, and it almost never frizzes anymore. Plus, now I can get up, shower, put a little paste in my hair, and be out the door in about 15-20 minutes. Short hair isn’t for everyone, and with some hair types I’m sure it’s more work, but mine is the easiest imaginable. Plus I get far more compliments on my spiky pixie than I ever got with my longer hair.
Ginniger Goodwin gave me the courage to go super-short, too! 😀
I think this varies for different cuts/hair types. My short pixie only needs to be cut every 2 months and requires no more day-to-day than getting it wet in the shower and hand-mookshelling. (ok some days i employ some kind of creme/wax-stuff in the mookshelling process.)
Long hair for me required daily washing/blow-drying/brushing and it still never looked that great.
SAME.
This is true for me, as well. I prefer my hair short, but I have really, really thick hair and a lot of it, so unless I do regular upkeep, my hair just looks untidy. Once I realized that I’m not talented enough to go to school full time and keep up regular haircuts at the same time, I just let it go, and now it’s gone from pixie to bob to shoulder length. When anyone asks me what I did with my hair, I say, “Neglect!”
Also, I take a perverse pleasure in growing my hair out to the length everyone likes it at and then going and getting it chopped off, so neglect it is for now!
When the stylist was finished, I looked in the mirror and recognized myself for the first time. It was, singularly, the best thing I ever did for the way I feel about my reflection on a daily basis.
YES THIS ME TOO!!!
I got my hair done in an angled jaw-length bob, so not so short, but still plenty short for me since I’d had butt-length hair until I started university, and then shoulder-length hair until my super short cut. And it looked fab. But on top of that, a couple months later, I did the front bang sections in an ombre hot pink, so that if I hated it, I could cut it off. But i LOVED it. It feels so strongly me that when I let it go too long without touching up, when I do put the pink in again over the awful bleached-blonde, it’s like a huge weight off my shoulders and sudden boost to my self image.
I just wish I didn’t have to wash my hair every day due to greasiness, so that I wouldn’t have to touch up the pink biweekly. I’m so lazy. My hair needs to grow out pink.
Also I am totally envious of whatever you did in the pigtail photo because my hair is at that length right now and I’m sooo sick of pulling it back half-up with a barrette (though it does look pretty cool with the pink, because of the way the ponytail part is like pink faded up). I need to find something easy to do before work that doesn’t take any effort. Maybe that’s an option!
Anyway I want to show off because I adore this look and can’t always describe it well? This selfie is right outside the salon (a cosmetology school, actually) in 2011: https://farm7.staticflickr.com/6038/6366271515_40…
And I cut it even shorter for the next summer. https://farm8.staticflickr.com/7325/8725659186_63… – I really loved the length of this cut, but it doesn’t look as nice in this particular photo (and the pink is a little faded).
I’m so luck that I work in an art-related space (well, literally, an art museum) so no one has ever said anything negative except for my stepmom who when I said I was going to get my hair trimmed for my brother’s wedding said in horror, “You’re not going to redo the pink are you?! you’ll RUIN the photos!” (uhm, smom? I’ve had my hair pink for 2.5 years now and even my mom, who isn’t crazy about it in general, says that it suits me). I dread trying to get a better paying job in the near future and possibly having to dye it over brown (since I refuse to leave my hair bleached on purpose).
I LOVE IT.
My hair is also super greasy, but I get away with the every-three-or-four-days things because it is so short, and because of the dry shampoo, which is AMAZING.
I wear a shower cap for two days, rinse my hair on the third, with dry shampoo in the morning, and shampoo on the fourth day. Sometimes I will just shampoo the sections over my ears and the crown of my head if the grease is really obvious on the third day.
You will also have better luck with sulfate-free shampoos, which are specifically designed to not strip color out of hair. You can buy expensive ass brands like Pureology, but I’m also in love with my Jason shampoo from a natural foods store.
Oh, I also have to preach the Holy Gospel of Special Effects hair dye, which is THE BEST. Seriously, I only have to re-dye it once a month, and it fades from fuchsia to Barbie Pink.
Order here: http://www.amphigory.com/special_effects_hairdye….
(I use “Virgin Rose”)
Thanks, I might try that!
I’ve been using Punky Color for a while, since it’s worked best of the various brands the different hair dressers used, and it’s easy to apply (also, it smells heavenly), but I’m not opposed to trying a new one. 🙂
I used Virgin Rose for my pink streaks! Or my stylist did. It looked awesome.
I’m jealous 🙁
My mom uses the powder/dry shampoo stuff and honestly? Her hair looks disgusting. I don’t know if it’s because of how much she bleaches it and puts crap in it, but it still looks greasy and gross.
I do use the sulfate-free stuff when my hair is freshly dyed, for about a week, but it tends to leave my hair greasy no matter how hard I try. It’s really frustrating, so I end up switching to my 2-in-1 Head & Shoulders by the next weekend, which is the WORST for pink dye I know, just to have my hair feeling clean again, and then suddenly the pink is super faded so it’s time to retouch. I forget which brand I used first, but now I use the one that Hair Cuttery sells, since that’s where I get my hair trimmed and it’s convenient (and I can’t seem to find any at the drug store).
But, literally, there are some days when I really feel like shampooing twice in one day, because of the oils and grease. I always skip a shampoo over the weekends, and by the next morning, it is like pure oil slick and so itchy (hell, it doesn’t even take until the next morning – often, I will cave and wash my hair before bed).
Okay, you seriously need to try Jason’s 2-in-1 Dandruff Relief–it’s just as good as Head and Shoulders, and it doesn’t have sulfates.
Do give your hair a week to get used to the switch in shampoos–it often takes that long to figure it out. 🙂
Noted! I was wondering if there was one out there like that, but had no idea where to look. The sulfate-free regular stuff I’ve used hasn’t given me trouble with dandruff, but it does leave my hair feeling thick with oil after a couple days, and then after a week, it’s got the greasy look. It also takes SO MUCH because it doesn’t lather as easily as the regular stuff.
Thank you so much for all your suggestions, by the way! I’m looking forward to having brighter pink hair longer, if these various tips work out. 😀 It’s encouraging for my lazy streak!
Have you tried a clarifying shampoo? Neutrogena makes a good clear one. It doesn’t smell great, but when I was a super oily teenager, it helped a lot. Fekkai also makes a really good cider vinegar one, but it’s quite pricy ($26 CAD, which is more than my broke ass is willing to pay).
Also, spray dry shampoos. I really like Batiste and Marc Anthony. They don’t leave a weird film like some of the others I’ve tried do.
I think I used to use Biolage clarifying, but it made my hair fall out pretty badly, and also didn’t do anything for my dandruff. (But I didn’t know about the purpose of conditioner back then, so that might be my fault.)
I’m actually afraid of vinegar-based stuff. I heard that it gradually lightens your hair and that is the last thing I want! It’s already lightening naturally from the sun as I spend more time outside and the slow accumulation of grey strands, which is bad enough.
So, this is gonna sound wierd, BUT, I have super greasy, super-fine hair that I bleach about once a month, and dye bright-ass-pink about twice a month, and have been doing that for about a year. My secret is that I only put shampoo on my head during bleaching day. The rest of the time, it’s Conditioner–only every day. Get you some Suave Natural conditioner in the gigantic family bottle, because cheaper is better here.
During your morning shower, dampen your head, fwop in as much conditioner as you need to cover your scalp. The ends don’t matter here, it’s your scalp you need to get at. Leave that stuff on while you’re doing all your other shower needs, and aim for about 5 minutes of scalp conditioning.
The idea here is that oil dissolves oil, and the oils in the conditioner are gonna dissolve all the head grease into itself, and it’s all going to wash down the drain after you rinse.
Hand to gawd, it works, and my hair has even gotten a bit less greasy where I can go about a day and a half without washing it without it showing instead of 18 hours at best. It also rinses out less of the dye than shampoo.
(you can also add a bit of your dye to your conditioner, not much, just like a teaspoon full to the bottle, and it’ll also partially help your colors stay bright. Also, I use Manic Panic Hot Hot Pink, and dilute it down to about half strength with dollar stor conditioner so it looks PINK! and not close to red.)
YES you are correct that does sound weird but ALSO it is not anything I’ve ever seen suggested before, and your description of your hair sounds EXACTLY like mine: super greasy and super fine. (It’s also super straight, except that it does the carol brady thing at the ends – not enough weight I guess? my hair is basically Molly McIntire’s if you know the American Girls, except i couldn’t even get the pin curls to hold when I tried it as a ten-year-old).
I’m dyeing my hair tonight, so I’m going to try this! Thank you so much! My fingers are crossed that it works for me. 🙂
Oh, I hope that works!
Also, try switching the time of day you wash your hair–I only wash at night now, and it has made all the difference in the world to the oiliness.
Yeah, I do that sometimes, but it’s just too oily. I do sometimes miss the days when my hair was long and I could just wash it at night and wear it in a single braid the next morning. Somehow, the oiliness didn’t look nearly so bad when it was longer.
(I come by this genetically – or else trained my scalp under the influence of my dad, who nagged me about personal grooming and to wash my hair if he thought it looked even a little greasy. He regularly showered after work – a desk job, mind – so that he could wash his hair before going out to dinner with my stepmom. He doesn’t do it as much now that he’s getting old and his hair texture is changing as it goes grey, but there were times when I was a kid that it wasn’t unheard of for him to shower three times a day, in between work, errands, and social commitments. We also live in Florida, so the oppressive humidity doesn’t help things. My siblings don’t have nearly the same problem, though.)
Do try a different brand – I wash my hair every day and I redo my blue about once every three weeks. Crazy color seems to last really well on my hair, I have all the old blue chopped off once a year and have it re-bleached and do it myself in the meantime.
I got a buzz cut the day after my wedding and have never been so happy with my hair for so long. Bonus that it’s RIDICULOUSLY easy to wear a wig with a buzz cut. So, when I’m feeling less than girly with my buzz, I just throw on a wig.
This morning, the guy asking for money outside the grocery store accidentally called me “sir” and I just laughed and laughed and bought him a pbj. I don’t even care anymore. I’m so girly without long hair, far girlier than I felt with long hair that I had to think about and worry about.
Yes! Boyhair makes me feel so girly, somehow.
Peectures?!?
I read this article and just kind of went “Yes! This! She is putting into words everything I feel!!!” About 2 years ago I went into a salon and told them to just cut off all my long hair and make it into a pixie. There was so much “are you sure? have you thought this through?” When I left the salon, I felt like a new woman. My hair is suuuper short, when cut it is maybe 1.5″ at longest. It is a man’s cut, but I style it “just so” so it looks all rumpled and wonderful. I adore it. Everyone should cut their hair, pixies for all! 🙂
*HIGHFIVE!*
Love love love your hair!!!
I’m super in love with you. I cut my hair off the day before I graduated from high school. Shaved it all the way twice. Have never regretted it. Look much better with it short. This is the most excellent thing I have read today (I read a lot so it really is a compliment.)
*fistbump*
Yes yes, this is so true! I’ve been cutting my hair gradually shorter and shorter over the years and it’s now just past my earlobes. A few months ago I added pink streaks and it’s one of the best things I’ve ever done. It makes me feel so vibrant!
I experimented with wigs first too – definitely a good idea.
I’ve wanted purple hair all my life, and I’m FINALLY going to do it (after my sister’s wedding this weekend). My hair is dark, so I need to commit to some blond streaks so that the color will show. I got a trim recently and talked to the stylist about my options; I’m just going to have the bleaching done by a pro, and then I can color the streaks myself! SO EXCITED!
if you’re nervous about the bleaching (even if you are excited about the color), you can get it done as “lowlights” or just the underside of your hair, if it’s longer, so that it’s possible to style it to have the color show or hide it a bit.
It’s why I started out with just an ombre-type bleaching of my layered, long bangs – easy to cut off if it turned out awful on me, and I could twist them back in such a way that most of the color would be hidden. Over the last three years, the sections of hair that are pink have grown a bit…..
But I do recommend doing sections around your face or towards the ends to start with (if you have longer hair, at least) – it’s a LOT easier to see if you’ve got it covered fully when touching up the color, especially if you let it go too long and it’s too faded for whatever reason. It also makes for cool-looking hairstyles if you do braids or twists or whatever. And a lot of us with shorter hair wear it longer around our faces, so there’s more to work with. And if your hair is longer, then you might have shorter layers or bangs, so less dye to use and you can trim it more often if you want to change colors or whatever.
Yup! I absolutely do this–it elevates the whole look from “15-and-experimenting-with-Kool-Aid” to “Grown-ass-woman-with-kick-ass-hairs”.
Purple is the BEST! No, seriously, the best. I freaking loved my purple hair (I went whole-hog since I was going to grad school and didn’t have to report in to an office for the first time in five years). Enjoy your purple hair, you’re going to love the hell out of it!
I have my bleaching done by a pro as well, I fear bleach. I go about once a year, I’ve got a blue stripe each side of my face and the bottom half (my hair is shoulder length, so about to my earlobes) blue. I get the rest of it done purple/black/something when I have it bleached and that fades gradually to my normal brown.
I went short last September — very short back and sides, longer on top, basically set up as if I were going to do a giant pompadour although so far I haven’t actually figured out how to do that. (Mallory is right, hairstyles don’t exist, it’s hopeless. I gel it up and it just falls back over. Why.) Since then I’ve gotten it cut 4 more times and it keeps creeping shorter and shorter, and the shorter it gets the more I love it. Next time I need a trim I might actually screw up my courage and venture into the men’s barbershop.
I use a volumizing mousse-type-thing pre-blow drying which gives my short hair LOTS of volume (I have an assymetric pixie cut), and combine with a men’s styling gel once it’s dry. It works really well (and holds the volume all day), though if I try a pompadour I think I might also need some hair spray.
Beth’s right!
Also, I highly recommend the Got-2-B hair powder that I use–it hold volume and height like nothing else I have ever used, and it’s not crunchy.
I have a hair-dyeing question (since the author is ROCKING that pink streak):
I feel like I have seen (either in person or in pictures) women who have (long) hair that is dyed in such a way as to make it so that they can choose whether or not to show off their unnaturally-colored streaks. Is such a thing possible? Basically, I want to be able to put some bright blue streaks in my hair for my daily life, but I am hoping to be sent to more client-facing meetings and trainings, and so I want to be able to conceal those streaks when work calls for it. I realize that this is the kind of thing that I need a good stylist for, but does anyone have any experience with this or any reference photos?
You sure can!
If you put the bright blue streaks on the underside of your hair, they will be hidden most of the time, unless you put your hair up. You won’t be able to have face-framing strands, unfortunately, but a few pieces of AWESOME can go a long way towards making for happy hair. 🙂
The last time I had super long hair was 1997. I made the initial Big Cut myself (sat down in front of my full length mirror and cut it from middle-of-my-back length to shoulder length) and went to a salon to finish the job. Since then I’ve had short cuts of various lengths, but keep going back to the super short cut. Great Clips does a great job keeping my basic cut. I would never grow it out again, especially since I’m getting a lot of silver highlights and I think short hair shows them off very nicely. 🙂
I love the idea of being able to “get away” with a short haircut. Like I’m committing some horrible crime and no one can catch or stop me no matter how hard they try. And that I’m continuing to perpetuate this crime every time I get my pixie re-upped. I’m like the Bonnie AND Clyde of hair! *shoots Gatling gun into air*
ALSO THING ALERT: http://www.amazon.com/Diane-D123-Tinkle-Hair-Cutt…
I use this to keep the back mullet at bay between haircuts (and sometimes I get carried away and trim other areas too). It’s brilliant! And easy! And a little addictive! Right now I’m at…god, over two months since my last cut and still going strong (if a little more Anne Hathaway than the original freshly cut Jennifer Lawrence I started with).
“Bonnie AND Clyde of hair”–I LOVE YOU.
I have super thick curly Lebanese-person hair, but I went back to a pixie again last year, for the first time since college, and I really am liking it. YEAH even though I have a big fat moon face! My curly hair doesn’t really start to curl until it’s a couple of inches out from my scalp, so that’s not really an issue for me. My issue is that I am apparently physically incapable of trimming it myself. I go over and ask my mom to do it for me sometimes, but I’d rather be able to do my own. But… the back… scissors… in the mirror… I can’t……. help………
You have a gorgeous moon face, and your hair is KILLAH.
My mom has had short, pixie-ish hair almost my entire life– when my brother was born, it was bleached and spiked (ah, 1986). The one time I cut mine short, it’s so fine and there’s so much of it that it very quickly just gave me the awkward mushroom head AND got me labeled a lesbian for the rest of high school (which, LOL whatever, but I was seriously trying to date dudes and nobody picked up on my awkward signals) (I ran into someone about five years after high school and he asked how I was doing and I said I was married and he said “… to a man?”). I waver between craving Deschanel hair and pixie cuts, but I think I’m going to wait for the hormone and mood swings of late pregnancy and early newborning to settle before I make a decision.
I LOVED THIS. I already took the plunge into pixie hair, but reading this is making me really want to finally put in some punk color(s).
I keep telling myself I can’t because I’m 29 and have a young face so it’ll just make me look like I’m trying to stay young or possibly like I am still actually a minor. But that’s just bullshit, right?
🙂
Darling heart, I did this for the first time when I was 26, and if anything, it simply made me look…right. Not young, not old, just right.
Find your color, keep it fresh and well-maintained, and you are going to be just fine.
Never apologize for selfies when your hair is that rad.
Thank you, lady!
I want to print this out and hand it my next stylist and be like, "WE GOOD?" Yes, I know I have a soft feminine face and a rack/hips/ass, but from the eyebrows up it is 100% SULLEN POET DESTINED FOR THE TRENCHES all the way.
Or, in comics (By Rianna Finch) form: http://riannafinch.tumblr.com/post/70457575789/ye…
I love my pixie cut, and it’s usually the most terrific thing ever. I get this really rad undercut that’s so simple to style and makes me feel super stylish and fashionable. Short hair is the best!
However, I went to get my hair cut today by the same lady who always cuts my hair, with the same reference picture I always bring, and she somehow chopped WAY too much off. Like, the clipper-cut part is at least a full inch higher up my head than usual, resulting in a lack of the little longer pieces in front of my ears that make my round little face look not so moon-like (hairdressers always say these “frame my face?” They look like pseudo-sideburns to me). Also, it means that the longer part doesn’t skim the top of my ears, but is maybe half an inch from them.
Somehow this haircut makes my shoulders look really broad, which they are not, and the whole look is really unflattering to my face and I think this is the first time a haircut has ever made me want to cry in my adult life. And Wikipedia tells me that hair only grows about 1/2 an inch a month, so I’m stuck this way for a while!
Thanks, Toasties, for letting me vent about this. This has been especially shocking to a hardcore short hair lover who is familiar with drastic hair changes.
Auuuuggggghhh!!!!
I had a haircut like that, and there was MUCH weeping in the Pinky household.
Headbands, scarves, and play with your styling.
It’s going to be better in a couple of weeks, I promise.
Aw, thanks! I think the thing that makes a situation like that so upsetting is knowing that the only thing that will truly fix it is waiting. I do have a couple really cool scarves, and I have some nifty hats hanging out in my closet.
I don’t want this to put any Toasties off short hair; I have the roundest of round faces and no cheekbones to speak of, and my usual pixie is the most flattering haircut I’ve ever had.
10 days ago I went from tailbone length to pixie, and I’m loving it except for how freaking fast my hair grows. I wish I could do bright colors but work won’t permit, so I’ll be sticking with henna red.
I adore how easy it is. I literally do nothing except slap a headband or a barrette on, since it turns out I despise hair on my forehead.
This was one of the first pieces I ever adored on The Toast, and the combined forces of the piece and the comment thread lent me the bravery for a series of haircuts that eventually led me to do a 180 on my gender presentation, from trying!really!hard!femme to softish butchish. I am so, so happy with the results, and so much happier in my own skin (and hair!), and I finally understand what y’all meant when you were talking about looking like yourselves. I’m really grateful for this piece.
Also, I’m really grateful for this specific paragraph. This is great advice for all kinds of life changes, aesthetic and otherwise:
“It may be wise to avoid talking about your decision on social media—you will inevitably get someone who doesn’t understand the concept of bodily autonomy, and will try to make you feel bad for daring to cut your hair. Surround yourself instead with pictures of beautiful, sassy, short hair. Fantasize about taking two minutes to wash it. Dream of the day when you will no longer get your hair caught on earrings. Bliss.”