“Just earlier this year, a former model came forward to claim that during a shoot, Richardson ‘licked her ass, had her squeeze his balls, and even ejaculated into her eye — making sure his assistant captured everything on film.’”

• Syndrome from Disney’s The Incredibles but on a nine-day juice fast
• Heroin Opie from the darkest timeline of Andy Griffith
• Ginger Skeletor
• Every villain in the “Are You Afraid of the Dark” carnival episode
• Like a living Jack-O-Lantern that has fucked the Cryptkeeper
• Morgan Spurlock after he’s been kept in a basement for fourteen years on a subsistence diet of gruel
• Starving Matthew McConaughey crossed with all the melting dudes at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark
• the human equivalent of a high-grade fever
• Evil Mr. Peanut
• A hoodie that has never been washed
• Scarecrow from Batman Begins disguised as a lumberjack
• A cross between the Pied Piper and Spring-Heeled Jack
• Someone who would try to talk to you in line at 7/11 at 3 in the morning
• Canadian Borat
• A California Raisin that has scurvy
• A Slim Jim that has been given human form by an evil djinn
• Fred Astaire and Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lamb‘s love child
• the red-headed bully from “Salute Your Shorts” with a vitamin-D deficiency
• Dov Charney after being immersed in the evil “Dip” from Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
• A no-makeup Joker
• White Jafar
• Exactly like what someone with the soul of Terry Richardson should look like

[Image via @darth]