The Fault In Our Stars’ Deleted Scenes -The Toast

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I have never read or seen The Fault In Our Stars, but that will not stop me from imagining what I hope to God it’s actually like. Without further ado, here are some scenes from a little book-turned-action-trilogy I like to call FAULTY STARS

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[A GIRL enters, coughing blood into a handkerchief]

GIRL: no

[A BOY enters, coughing blood into a handkerchief. An accordion plays.]

BOY: yes

they kiss 

1969, MIDNIGHT COWBOY

FOGGY STAGS

GIRL: love means never having to say yr sorry

BOY: ill take a walk to remember you

[A STAR CRASHES INTO THE EARTH, KILLING THEM BOTH]

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FAWNY STAMPS

BOY: hey baby whats ur sign

GIRL: i dont understa–

BOY: im a cancer

[they stare directly into the camera, coughing blood]

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CANCER FACE

GIRL [directly to the camera]: dyings no fun, especially when your a teen. life moves pretty fast sometimes, if you don’t stop and look around sometime you might miss it.

[picks up phone] cameron you gotta get out of bed. its my day off.

[A BOY appears in her room]

BOY: theres something wrong with your kids marty!! its the stars

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FLANNERY MARS

[A GIRL is looking through a telescope of science]

GIRL: oh no that star’s coming straight for us!!

BOY: i have a secret i was really a star in disguise this whole time

[he explodes, killing her]

brians songFAULTING SWEARS

GIRL: im dying

BOY: no your not

[they make out]

GIRL: okay

BOY: attaboy Clarence

[a bell rings; 10000 miles above them a star winks]

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