i keep drinking
but it’s not making him more interesting
what
yes
i’m still listening
you were talking about that
i’m just resting my eyes
ahhhahahhaha
that is so good
that is so funny
that is so funny and good
no I’ve never heard that before from you
ahh sorry i just
i really need to look at this matchbook right now
sorrryyyy
mmm for sure
no i definitely agree
you don’t have to keep arguing because i agree and you’re right so we are on the same
we’re the same way, i agree
So do you see what I mean
yeah i definitely understand
because its kind of complicated
no I’m with you
ill explain it again
yayyyyy ahhh again again
more playing more music
im so glad this turned into a concert even though nobody asked for one
yeah it just happened
it just happened to all of us
ahh sorry but you really can’t move him
if he stays there you better not come any closer
yeah sorry you better just stay over there where you are right now
hooray
we’re kissing now
that’s the thing that is happening now
christ is he still behind us
i don’t know
keep skating
oh no i wasn’t doing anything, I’m not busy
just talking to all of my friends
but I’m so glad we’re doing this now instead
yeah thats terrible
i can’t believe he said that
wow and after you basically saved the presentation too
hang on i just gotta rest my neck for a minute
sorry babe
you know i can’t hear anything when I’m powdering my nose
ill let you know when I’m finished
NO
REALLY???
GO ON
how can you say that
how can you say I’m not paying attention
i just took off my clothes and threw the fruit basket to help me focus
yeah it’s great it’s really great
i just need to take a break from looking at it for a second
to look at something else
hey
hey
hey wake up
are you asleep or something
are you sleeping
mm no I’m still listening
listening and awake and also listening
don’t make eye contact
im not im not making eye contact
well you’re giving him some sort of encouragement
no im not im like lying down
well lie down harder
“Okay, this next one is called Elegy in Amber”
oh my god how many elegies even are there in the world
is he going to play all of them
right okay
so where did he move the boat to next then
I just–
sorry
not quite finished with this matchbook
sorry!!!
[Images via]
Tags: all of these artists are dead i’m not crediting them that would take forever, art history, artwork, having fun at western art history’s expense, no babe no i’m still listening, the art of conversation, women listening to men
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do go on, it’s not like I have other customers to deal with
“Oh, you want to talk about your girlfriend? I have not heard any of that today, by all means carry on.”
Ahahahaha, oh man, the number of times I have had this conversation:
“So do you see what I mean
yeah i definitely understand
because its kind of complicated
no I’m with you
ill explain it again”
Hahahaha. Haha. Ha.
SO MANY TIMES.
That really lovely painting of the woman in the white dress with the flowers and the annoying dude behind her? Whoever painted that has captured the exact expression of “Oh yes, I see you there talking to me, rudely interrupting me while I was talking to my friends, but I am too well-bred and polite to exhibit my true irritation, so I will just give you a ‘Hmm?’ look of vague interest, and then I will cut you off so sweetly and politely that I will be in the next room before you even know what happened. Carry on then.”
This painting…do you see the man in the background? Underneath the candles of the chandelier? Toasties, he’s looking directly at you with that bemused expression. Do you think he knows? He knows.
The women in the painting with the puppy look like they’re having an amazing time, but not as amazing as the bonnet on that lady in the second-to-last. Daaaaaang.
yes, yes, very interesting.
very interesting for sure.
you know way more than we do about this
(picture is this <a href=”http://www.bbc.co.uk/arts/yourpaintings/paintings/an-interior-with-three-women-and-a-seated-man-114312)” target=”_blank”>http://www.bbc.co.uk/arts/yourpaintings/paintings/an-interior-with-three-women-and-a-seated-man-114312)
i am going to kill you
haha ask her about the time she went to the woods and found a dead body
it’ll be your dead body if you aren’t careful
yeah she ate her last boyfriend
(picture <a href=”http://www.bbc.co.uk/arts/yourpaintings/paintings/man-flirting-with-two-women-outside-a-cottage-23676)” target=”_blank”>http://www.bbc.co.uk/arts/yourpaintings/paintings/man-flirting-with-two-women-outside-a-cottage-23676)
Snarky Knitting Woman is my new hero.
Probably because he did.
My favorite Art Trope at the moment is “Consumptive Woman Gazes Languidly (at a man probably, but maybe also into middle distance).”
Nailed it!
(Madame X is maybe not as languid as she could be)
I really like this one in a ‘how do I make my apartment look like this and also I need more robes’ kind of way – do you know who it’s by?
Yo it’s Mrs. E.B. Chandler in Her Room, by Robert Jenkins Onderdonk, painted in 1889.
oh no i wasn’t doing anything, I’m not busy
just talking to all of my friends
but I’m so glad we’re doing this now instead
ahahaha oh god, amazing, a+ forever
well you’re giving him some sort of encouragement
no im not im like lying down
well lie down harder
Yep. Yepyepyep.
how many elegies are there?! 😀 😀
so good.
I cant decide which is more genius, the matchbox or the fruit bowl.
Anyway your know youre stuck in a bad conversation when you have to mentally play games to keep your eyes open.
“Hey babe, can you make me a sandwich?”
Oh sure, I’m not leaving on an important appointment and you’re not an able bodied adult with two hands.
And he IS already wearing an apron.
Sometimes I also feel I need to throw things to continue listening.
“I don’t know, keep skating” is pretty much my life’s motto.
I think that skating one is my favourite in this bunch.
[White] Women Listening to Men in [Western] Art History.
Oh, yeah, this is definitely a Western European art history series, I’ll fling that into the tags. SOMETHING ABOUT BEING A WESTERN EUROPEAN PAINTER lends one to not noticing whether or not women are bored in conversation, go figure.
Thanks.
We are going to have series of women of ALL WALKS OF LIFE, from EVERY NATION ON THIS EARTH, being bored to tears by dudes talking in paintings. This is my solemn promise to you all.
Sadly (or happily, depending on your point of view) there is no shortage of examples of men boring the heck of of women of all ages,races and walks of life.
I could probably come up with a series of “White Ladies Interrupting Non-White Ladies” too, this might never end
Please, please make this happen. This reduced me to tears when i first read it, and I’ve just shared it and read it again – and yep, helpless with laughter for the second time. I was just thinking this morning that I bet there are some cracking examples in Chinese and Japanese art in particular!
Also, you are the awesomest. Fricken hilarious.
christ is he still behind us
Aaaaand I’m dead. Don’t bother reviving me unless there are more of these art thingies to look at.
oh look, something over there
of course it’s not more interesting than you
it’s just
such a soothing visual accompaniment to your talking
why is there so much absinthe everywhere and all the time.
Helps with coming up with something new to look at, without seeming rude, so long as you’re okay with it being green.
french impressionists loved two things: green liquor that tastes like candy and boring women to death
What gets me is that these are, by and large, painted by men. Which means THEY NOTICE but continue to do it anyway.
I think they may believe those expressions are coy, flirtatious or modest.
After all, so few men can accept that someone might – GOD FORBID – find them dull.
or maybe they do NOT notice at all! They have never seen an interested expression in their lives; therefore they think that this IS the interested expression.
“It is inconceivable to me that anyone would be bored by all the interesting things I have to say” – dudes, since forever
Alternately, they notice women’s disinterest, and they think it’s adorable.
Why stop? What else are we going to do with our time? Become better people? Bah!
Perhaps the men who paint these pictures are not the same men who continue to do this. Or perhaps I’m overly optimistic and men really are that oblivious.
and here’s the rest of #15:
“how can you say that
how can you say I’m not paying attention
i just took off my clothes and threw the fruit basket to help me focus
but seriously, has anyone seen my nipple?”
DAT BUSTLE THO
Man, I wish that bustles were still fashionable sometimes. #pancakebuttreporting
Gurl.
I have to do squats otherwise my keister is so non-existent my bones start to hurt from sitting. And there’s few things more mortifying than telling someone you’re walking funny because you sat for too long. #ConcaveCaboose
These women are too sarcastically apologetic to the men. Where are my lush bitches?
Picking flowers furiously.
The Dutch do not let you down. http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-v8VnPbxj_Zg/UK2r2Pd288I… http://www.essentialvermeer.com/dutch-painters/co…
I have definitely made every single one of these faces in the 5 (almost 6 yuck) years I spent with my ex-boyfriend. INCLUDING the sleepy ones, because he always liked to make me look at stuff while I was drowsy off medication and heading to bed, and then he’d get mad when I wouldn’t get excited.
Also do you think in the one with the dog they’ve trained that dog to distract men so they’ll stop stop talking? I need to train my dog to do this.
My dog does that. She goes right for the balls, too. I’m immeasurably proud of her.
That naked bathing lady, man. The idea that she just had a near-psychotic break due to how boring those dudes are is honestly the most reasonable explanation I can think of for that scene.
Gurl.
I have to do squats otherwise my keister is so non-existent my bones start to hurt from sitting. And there's few things more mortifying than telling someone you're walking funny because you sat for too long. #ConcaveCaboose
ha! so true, so true
this needs to be a tumblr. I never want it to end.
This cracked me up.
That guy eyeing the bustle. Dude, it’s a wire framework. You are literally lusting over scaffolding.
Maybe that’s why men were not included in woman’s toilet and dressing routines—even if they were married!
The artist is interested in the female subject himself? Pointing out that she is bored with her conversation and that he is artistic, perceptive and interested in her. Artists so have a reputation to uphold!
Yes, Leonardo, it was a funny story. See, I’m smiling? No, really I am.
Love all these, but the seventh one is, I’m afraid, all women–especially the lyre player. You just dissed Sappho! That’s her rockin’ out her women’s academy on Lesbos.
Sorry Alan, that’s Sappho listening to Alcaeus. A man.
http://art.thewalters.org/detail/10245/sappho-and…
finally a meaningful explanation for The Picnic (Le dejeuner sur l’herbe) – Claude Monet Paintings — always wondered about the nudity thing…:)
This is my go to thing when i want/need a certain laugh!! all truly funny!!