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Home: The Toast

Previously in this series: Two Monks Invent the Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood.

fireAh, gentlemen. I see we’re all here and on fire in time for the meeting. Shall we begin?

MONK #1: hey what does it look like when two people who love one another hug
MONK #2: oh god just awful, it looks awful
like one of ’em is a knife just splitting into the other one’s skin
MONK #1: dang

lovers

MONK #2: or theres another way
MONK #1: of hugging?
MONK #2: yeah
only your chins and one knee touch
and you make your face miserable
and lean away as hard as you can
so those are the two main basic kinds of hugging that there are
MONK #1: like this?
MONK #2: yeah exactly

hug

MONK #1: oh that reminds me
which way do necks bend
on humans
MONK #2: any way
MONK #1: yeah?
MONK #2: yeah there’s like literally no direction a neck cant bend in
MONK #1: really
MONK #2: yeah
try it sometime

necks

MONK #1: oh remind me what jesus looked like again
MONK #2: protractor and a compass mixed together with a head on it
MONK #1: right right

jesus

MONK #2: oh and also don’t forget he was mostly made of eyes
MONK #1: who
jesus?
MONK #2: oh yeah
like 80% of his head was just his eyes
like a possum
maybe make a note of that cos you’ll be drawing his eyes a lot
MONK #1: hey thanks

eyes

MONK #1: what do tigers look like
MONK #2: mm
this, mostly
MONK #1: you’re sure?
MONK #2: yeah
MONK #1: they dont have noses?
MONK #2: not really
MONK #1: are their stripes really supposed to look like–
MONK #2: look what are you
the tiger guy?
just dont worry about it
MONK #1: okay
okay
i just
why is that girl sitting on the archer?
MONK #2: for balance
women weigh the same as arrows
everyone knows that
stop asking so many questions

tiger

MONK #1: whatcha workin on
MONK #2: a lion and a fox who are best friends
MONK #1: wow thats awesome
MONK #2: i named them monk #1 and monk #2
MONK #1: but those are our names
MONK #2: i know :) :) :)

bffs

MONK #1: what keeps crowns on peoples heads
MONK #2: tiny angels trapped in a circle

crown

MONK #1: so with knees, is it the same thing as with necks, where they can point in pretty much any direction?
MONK #2: yeah
MONK #1: cool cool thanks
MONK #2: basically most joints can bend wherever on humans

f. 4 recto - Arrest of Christ

MONK #1: how detachable are legs
MONK #2: mm
pretty detachable id say
why do you ask
MONK #1: nothing no reason

halo

MONK #1: whats it like
getting your hair cut
MONK #2: horrifying
one guy holds you down and then bam
scimitar to the chin

doctor

MONK #1: what would you say is underneath most mountains
MONK #2: idk
a blue guy holding everything up
surrounded by terrified peasants
MONK #1: oh good
cos thats what i drew

mountain

[Images mostly via]

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