Did you know that Stone Butch Blues is out of print? How is that possible, when every dyke in America has at least two copies on her bookshelf?
The novel was published by FireBrand Press in 1993. It was picked up by Alyson Books in 2003. In early 2013, Feinberg announced on her Tumblr page that the book would be permanently out of print, but made to order copies would be available by request on her website.
This is utter garbage, of course; Stone Butch Blues should sell more copies on a yearly basis than On The Road and Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas combined. You’ve read it, of course (it’s about the travels of a working-class butch/gender outlaw named Jess, OF COURSE YOU’VE READ IT) and, like me, you long only for the day when the all-butch cast list for the big-budget film adaptation is announced. In the meantime, let us argue furiously about who deserves to put on Jess’ suit and tie.
Jess Goldberg
This one was obviously the toughest! My first thought was Ruby Rose, after that amazing “Break Free” video about gender identity she posted last week, but she’s just too beautiful to convincingly pull off a working-class union organizer, I fear. We need Hephaestus, not Apollo.
Then I thought of Daniela Sea, partly as an apology for what they did to Max on The L Word, and partly because she’s, you know, tawny and masculine like a minor god, but she’s not a strong enough actress to carry a film, I think.
Then my friend Sara reminded me — “What about our girlfriend from Throw Like A Girl, Rain Dove Dubilewski?” And the heavens parted, and a shower of gold coins fell into my lap, and I knew in my heart she was right. Of course. Jess is a character who experiments with hormones and convincingly reads as male among steelworkers and blue-collar union members for years — she needs to have a commanding physical presence.
Rain Dove Dubilewski (my girlfriend) is 6’3 and looks like this.
And this:
And, Heaven help us, this:
Who could possibly contend with that?
Gloria
Part of the fun of casting a nonexistent movie is giving (imaginary) jobs to real-life lesbian/bi/genderqueer actors. Gloria’s not one of the more significant roles, but she’s empathetic and connects with Jess and I think Olivia Wilde has more empathy in her face than I do in my entire body.
Karla
I just want to cast Angel Haze in everything, and I won’t apologize for that.
Butch Al
You can’t have Stone Butch Blues without Lea DeLaria, and I think she’s earned the right to be Butch Al at this point in her career. Butch Al is the first real-life butch Jess ever encounters, and Lea DeLaria is the first example of butch queerness most of us ever got to see in mainstream entertainment.
Jacqueline
I flipped back and forth on this! Kate can pull off a decent soft-masculine swagger, but I think she and Lea would have amazing chemistry. Also, selfishly, I would like to see her dolled up in high femme mode. I would enjoy that very much.
Theresa
NO ONE ELSE COULD PLAY THERESA BUT EVAN RACHEL WOOD. HER FACE HAUNTS MY DREAMS.
Ed(win)
“A strong, proud, black butch.” Grace Jones could pull that off in her sleep. I would watch an entire sequel devoted entirely to the romantic and political escapades of Grace-as-Ed.
Butch Jan
Julie Goldman radiates warmth and goodness. She was born to play Butch Jan.
Edna
Is it weird that now I want Maria Bello and Julie Goldman to go out in real life? They would have adorable chemistry, and their fights would break my heart.
Abba’s Bartender
I love LP — I have no idea if she can act, so I think it’s best to keep her in a highly visible role that doesn’t require a lot of talking, just sympathetic glass-washing and smirking at the latest crop of baby butches to walk through the door.
Toni
This movie does not deserve to be made if kd lang isn’t in it.
Angie
Angie’s advice to Jess is to avoid the bar scene in order to keep from “growing old before [your] time,” and Janelle Monae is an ageless sprite who transcends the very concept of time, so it’s a good fit. Also — again selfishly — I would like very much to watch Janelle and Rain make out, preferably while both of them are wearing suspenders.
Frankie
JD Samson, the face of butch-on-butch love. WOULD WATCH.
Duffy
John Leguizamo is a man who will be spared, and I think he could pull off Duffy’s comfortable masculinity, open-mindedness, and working-class sense of fairness in a walk.
Rocco
Dot Jones has the physical stature and the world-weariness to pull off Rocco’s “loneliness and secret vulnerability.” Can’t you see her in that leather jacket?
Milli
THIS WAS AN ACTUAL HEARTBREAKER, YOU GUYS. You know my feelings about La Stewart, you know I like her butch (a la Coachelle 2010 and The Runaways), so why would I cast her as a pro femme who moonlights as a stripper?
Because — and it pains me to admit it — Kristen’s a soft, aristocratic butch. The steel mills of 1970s-Buffalo are not the right background for her “disheveled, syphilitc duke” look. But she can pull off battle-hardened and gorgeously, emotionlessly brave, no problem.
Also — in keeping with the “selfishness” theme — I would like to watch Kristen Stewart riding on the back of Rain Dove’s motorcycle very much.
Annie
Why cast Ellen Page as a more-than-moderately homophobic straight woman? Because I can, motherfuckers.
Grant
Grant mostly just provides exposition, but Jenny Shimizu could provide sexy, snarling exposition, which is a big step up.
Ruth
WHO ELSE BUT LAVERNE could play Ruth? The world is such a threatening place for her that she has steeled herself even against friendship, but she plants flowers and makes pies and lives as carefully and as patiently as she can. Also, both Laverne and Rain have smiles that could destroy the sun, if they chose to do so, so they’d be a great match.
Tags: casting movies no one asked for, leslie feinberg, lgbt, movies
Today is the site’s gayest day to date, but I am confident we will have even gayer days in the future.
this is maybe the gayest thing I’ve ever read on the internet, so five stars for that.
Magnificent.
“Gayer days,” my new toast at all occasions. Thank you all–you know how sometimes you just need something and then you go to The Toast and there it is? Yes, I’m sure you do.
The glaring lack of Samira Wiley is unforgiveable in my book.
SORRY I MADE YOU THIS PERFECT IMAGINARY BLOG POST WITH ONE FLAW
The flaw is how you know it was made by human hands, and not the gods’.
I confess I have never read this book or even heard about it, but I’m willing to pay money for a ticket to this fake movie right now. I’m convinced.
Same, same. Feeling it.
The glaring lack of Samira Wiley is unforgiveable, in my book.
But Samira Wiley should be smiling her enormous sunshine angelic chorus grin all the time, and no-one in Stone Butch Blues is that happy.
I SLAVE ALL MORNING OVER A HOT BLOG AND THIS IS THE FIRST THING YOU HAVE TO SAY ABOUT IT
OUT OF PRINT????? there should be a law. any law. a law preventing this, somehow.
Nicole just suggested on The Toast that they should buy the rights and make this movie and I have never in my life wished for anything so hard. Can we Kickstarter this butch?
I MAKE NO APOLOGIES FOR THAT PUN.
OKAY, so it looks like AGAINST THE TIDE PRODUCTIONS had the rights in 1994, but I think they’ve folded, which means the rights could be reacquired, ideally by someone who will call Mallory.
I would back the hell out of this project on kickstarter.
Damn it, she said it on Twitter, this comment makes no sense now, but NONETHELESS where is the Toast patron who will back this venture? You have my sword. And my monies.
I’d throw in.
I also feel like at least half of these actors would be INTO IT, right?
We’ve seen what The Oatmeal artist Matthew Inman got done with crowdfunding (Tesla Museum/ Elon Musk donating One Million dollars) and look what happened with the Potato Salad dood and he was only kidding.
Will The Toast dare to create a Kickstarter?
Also, is there any place for Lily Tomlin to play a cameo?
every time i thought this couldn’t possibly get any better, i scrolled down and IT GOT BETTER
There has never been anything more perfect or wonderful in the world than this list.
I really didn’t need any more unattainable crushes, but good lord.
Can I just gnaw on Rain Dove Dubilewski? please?
That 3rd picture… good heavens!
Seriously.
But everyone on this list. Good Lord. Talented and stunning and..yes ok.
ALL THE PICTURES WOW
WOW
WOW
I wish Jasika Nicole were on this list but I don’t know who I’d sub out, so. :/ It’s glorious no matter what.
Ooh, I didn’t know Jasika was queer, nor (after now reading her twitter) that she is a super crafter/knitter/seamstress. This knowledge has made my day so much better.
Oh my god. I will just leave the computer now and not read anything else on the internet for the rest of the evening so my head can be filled only with this vision.
Wait. Wait wait wait wait wait.
Olivia Wilde is lesbian/bi/gender queer IRL? Or did I just wishfully misread that?
I think she’s said that she’s bi? I’m pretty sure but not positive.
she’s out as bi, yeah!
Mmmm Jenny Shimizu. How is it possible that she just continues to be beautiful year in and year out?
OUR girlfriend, Mallory. Our girlfriend.
Leslie Feinberg is making SBB available for FREE on the internet bc ze is an amazing god of the people.
http://leslie-feinberg.tumblr.com/post/6805328824…
p.s. this post has inspired me to repurchase a copy for myself; I gave away my college copy to a friend who had lost hers in a breakup (i.e. the gayest situation in the world). I thought I would always be able to get it from the library, but that is NOT TRUE.
Thanks for this tip! I was despairing that I wouldn’t be able to read it again.
Damn. I am quite enthusiastically straight, but I now want to at least make out with a LOT of those women!
it’s working
So THAT’s the gay agenda I keep hearing about!
Well, it’s one version – the other is what we create when my friends and I are planning weekend trips.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bcYppAs6ZdI
GET IT? the gay agenda?
(it was a hilarious joke at the beginning of every meeting in college)
I did not get that until just now and I have read this three or four times… but now I get it!!! 🙂
I was going to posit myself as Milli, as she’s been a personal hero of mine, but I suppose I can slide for KStew. (I am a fierce femme stripper, and Milli changed my life when I read her.)
Hi, can you write something for the site? I’d love to read more about this.
I… don’t know if this is something they would be open to, but I would love to, and I’ve actually written before. If any of the lovely editors would be into it, I’m game!
For your consideration… only I don’t have pink hair anymore, it’s ombre now.
I am not an editor, but I would be into it also!
I want to print this post out and roll around in it.
That Rain Dove Dubilewski is the Jessiest Jess that ever Jessed after Leslie Feinberg hirself. I so need this movie to happen.
The Toast continues to slowly but surely bend my straight sexuality into a glorious Mobius strip. unnnffffffffff
this is the queerest post on the internet and i have never loved anything so much in my life
Well, it's one version – the other is what we create when my friends and I are planning weekend trips.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bcYppAs6ZdI
Damn you, Mallory. I want to go to all of the theres now. I mean, more than usual. SBB is part of my fantasy movie double bill, along with Rotary Spokes. In between both movies, instead of an intermission, is an animated version of The Ladies Almanack.
An animated version of The Ladies Almanack Must. Happen. Now!!!
As a proud Buffalonian whose grandad and brother worked in the steel mills, I offer my services as location scout, extras casting and, um, on-location hospitality coordinator.
Dammit, Wikipedia, PRONOUNS! Leslie Feinberg does not use gendered pronouns.Respect that. *HEADDESK*
Oh, is that the case? I was going off this interview from a few years back —
Leslie Feinberg: For me, pronouns are always placed within context. I am female-bodied, I am a butch lesbian, a transgender lesbian – referring to me as “she/her” is appropriate, particularly in a non-trans setting in which referring to me as “he” would appear to resolve the social contradiction between my birth sex and gender expression and render my transgender expression invisible. I like the gender neutral pronoun “ze/hir” because it makes it impossible to hold on to gender/sex/sexuality assumptions about a person you’re about to meet or you’ve just met. And in an all trans setting, referring to me as “he/him” honors my gender expression in the same way that referring to my sister drag queens as “she/her” does.
If that’s changed, let me know, and I’ll be happy to update the piece!
My apologies, I was going on outdated information. Leslie Feinberg’s’s current preferred pronouns seem to be more fluid than they might have been in the past. I read through Leslie’s and (partner) Minnie Bruce Pratt’s websites, and the most common pronouns are “s/he” and “ze”. So…I guess my only safe assumption is to make no assumptions.
Laverne Cox is undeniably a goddess in human form, but she’s also not the only insanely talented TWOC in the world. Why not give the role of Ruth to some fresh talent, or even more radically, give one of the cis butch roles to a trans butch?
NAME NAMES, let’s keep the casting going forever
Love love love love love. Scrolled like a crazy person going “Laverne as Ruth, Laverne as Ruth, Laverne as Ruth….YES!” I actually think Ellen Page would be a good Milli…
This blew my mind when I read it in college and clearly I need to pick it up again because the only other character I remember is Annie. I would help kickstart this! And watch it several times! And it’s a travesty that it’s going out of print! ENTHUSIASM!!!11
Stone Butch Blues makes me cry every time I read it, and as a working class trans dude from Syracuse, it hits home really really hard and UGH MY FEELINGS ABOUT SBB, and this casting is pretty spot on.
Except Julie Goldman, who I object to on moral grounds, as she says some pretty ignorant and awful shit about trans people and bisexuals on the podcast she’s on (which I listened to for much longer than I should have because other parts of the show are hilarious, but I couldn’t take it anymore, after the third episode in a row where they defended the use of the word tr*nny and basically said trans women just need to get over it because one of their friends who is trans says it’s okay to use, so shut up trans ladies!). I do not know who I would replace her with, but I just don’t want her involved.
That is a shame to hear! SAMIRA WILEY TO THE RESCUE
PROBLEM SOLVED.
There is nothing in the world that I want right now than this movie to happen.
Can we please include Natasha Lyonne. I think she’s does scrappy and snarky pretty well despite her “But I’m a Cheerleader” facade. Thoughts?
I’m worried this is slowly going to turn into “the cast of Orange is the New Black does Stone Butch Blues” but that is hardly the worst thing in the world
The Rain Dove Dubilewski pictures gave me an actual legit hot flash. Mother of Mercy!
I… don't know if this is something they would be open to, but I would love to, and I've actually written before. If any of the lovely editors would be into it, I'm game!
<img src="http://k1.okccdn.com/php/load_okc_image.php/images/150×150/558×800/11×17/400×406/0/9328617310650620274.webp?v=2">
For your consideration… only I don't have pink hair anymore, it's ombre now.
I am exponentially less straight now than I was at the beginning of this post, thank you.
Still thinking about this…I’d really like cameos from Tig Notaro and (sorry) (wait, no I’m not) Drew Barrymore. Perhaps Tig could be a surprisingly effective Butch Jan, if we’re replacing Julie Goldman?
YES. TIG FOREVER IN EVERYTHING, BUT ESPECIALLY THIS.
oh thank god because I was going to have to do some hunting.
how have i not read this yet?!
“disheveled, syphilitc duke”
A genre of crush I didn’t even know I had, until you gave it a name. Oh.
Can we have a cameo with that basketball player who is butch as fuck and unbelievably hot, SOMEONE REMIND ME WHAT HER NAME IS, please and thank you.
The movie could be a “Battlefield: Earth” remake and with this cast I’d see it in the theatre at least three times.
How did I not know of Rain Dove Dubilewski’s existence until this very moment.
How.
The problem with this cast, tbh, is that my loins would burst into flame if I tried to watch the movie.
I would see this movie in a HEARTBEAT. Why has this not happened yet?
Price of Salt movie next year though you guyssssss.
Suggest that various Blackstone actors be considered for the roles of Jess’s singing factory colleagues: http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blackstone_(TV_ser…
Also suggest casting Zami: A New Spelling Of My Name next.
I’ve not read the book but is there a role for Candis Cayne? I feel like after all the kerfuffle about her role on Elementary, then we basically see nothing of Miss Hudson again, she deserves ALL THE ROLES.
Leslie Feinberg, the author of SBB, is active on social media even though Leslie is extremely ill. http://leslie-feinberg.tumblr.com is just one of Leslie’s sites. (I am not using pronouns because I am not sure what Leslie’s preference is.) The author has strongly expressed that any rumor of any movie is just that, as there is no intention of giving up Leslie’s rights to Leslie’ property. Please, if you appreciate the book, find the author’s social media presences and offer thanks and support there.
I have taught QUEER LIT for a long time, and I have always included STONE BUTCH BLUES on my reading list. When the book went out of print, several years ago now, each time I taught my course, I would buy up enough used books for the students in my class and have them sent to my office and sell them to my students. I kept expecting someone to publish SBB after Alyson stopped publishing it. In the meantime, Leslie Feinberg said in 2013 that s/he would be publishing an Author’s Edition of SBB, but I have found nothing further about that possibility. In the same message, Feinberg said that teachers could make copies of the book for their students but charge students only the cost of duplication. I just wonder if those are still the only options in obtaining the book. Does anyone know? Does anyone know if Feinberg is ever going to have SBB published again? Used copies are still available but at a cost that my students could never afford.
Margee Morrison, MICA
I have taught QUEER LIT for a long time, and I have always included STONE BUTCH BLUES on my reading list. When the book went out of print, several years ago now, each time I taught my course, I would buy up enough used books for the students in my class and have them sent to my office and sell them to my students. I kept expecting someone to publish SBB after Alyson stopped publishing it. In the meantime, Leslie Feinberg said in 2013 that s/he