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Home: The Toast

hqdefaultSpecial thanks to Bob Ross and BobRossQuotes.com.

In painting, you have unlimited power. You have the ability to move mountains. You can bend rivers. But when I get home, the only thing I have power over is the garbage in bed.

Any time ya learn, ya gain, in bed.

Any way you want it to be, that’s just right, in bed.

You can do anything you want to do. This is your world, in bed.

We’re gonna make some big decisions in our little world in bed.

Decide where your little footy hills live. In bed?

Clouds are very, very free in bed.

You know me, I gotta put in a big tree in bed.

There’s nothing wrong with having a tree as a friend in bed.

Trees cover up a multitude of sins in bed.

Just put a few do-ers in there…in bed.

The trees are oh-so soft, oh-so soft I freakin’ love it in bed.

People might look at you a bit funny, but it’s okay. Artists are allowed to be a bit different in bed.

Gotta give him a friend. Like I always say, “everyone needs a friend” in bed.

We don’t know where it goes. We don’t really care, in bed.

Just “smoosh” it in there. It’s not a real word, but people seem to know what it means in bed.

Shwooop. Hehe. You have to make those little noises, or it just doesn’t work in bed.

Oh, you’d be in Agony City by now, in bed.

You can use a brush rack to hit the brush on. Otherwise you will become unpopular real fast in bed.

Be sure to use odorless paint-thinner. If it’s not odorless, you’ll find yourself working alone very, very quick in bed.

Here’s your bravery test in bed!

Just go straight in like you’re going to stab it. And barely touch it…barely touch it in bed.

I can’t go over 30 minutes, because we have a mean ol’ director with no sense of humor in bed.

Just scrape in a few indications of sticks and twigs and other little things in there. People will think you spend hours doing this in bed.

If you did this with blue, and you went over it with yellow, you would end up with a nice green sky. And that’s not the thing we are looking for in bed.

The only thing worse than yellow snow is green snow in bed.

Oh, green water… oh, that’s pretty. Boy, I like that: just alive with algae in bed.

Water’s like me. It’s laaazy… Boy, it always looks for the easiest way to do things in bed.

This is the hardest part of this method. If you can do this, you can do anything in bed:

The secret to doing anything is believing that you can do it. Anything that you believe you can do strong enough, you can do. Anything. As long as you believe in bed.

Ben Potrykus is a social service worker who plays in the band Bent Shapes. In 1998, his English teacher made him sit outside of the classroom wearing an improvised dunce cap for making silly jokes. Now his silly jokes are occasionally published on websites. Never give up on yr dreams.

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