Lord Alfred Douglas, Dirtbag -The Toast

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NPG x28098,Lord Alfred Bruce Douglas,by George Charles Beresfordbabe
babe
how much do you love me
oh god
are you in prison again?
no
what?
no
lol that was like one time in france
it doesn’t count as prison if you’re in france
anyhow
what are you doing like right now
I’m trying to finish The Importance of Being Earnest
okay well
stop doing that and sue my dad
what?
you should sue my dad
why would I do that?
he’s been telling everyone you’re gay
I am gay
well but he’s being really shitty about it
everyone’s shitty about it
okay
fine
well then just sue him because he sucks and I hate him
that doesn’t seem like much of a basis for a legal case
oh my god
are you going to sue him or not
all I want is a boyfriend who will sue my dad
I really don’t think that’s too much to ask
a boyfriend who will sue my dad and also come down to the Savoy to bail me out because they keep saying I owe them like £300 for champagne and sex grease
what?
right?
like I brought my OWN sex grease obviously

 

babe come over
are you all right, my ivory poppet?
no
im sick
come over and take care of me

it’s the boys’ first day of school
and Constance’s birthday
come over im dying
all right
I’ll be there
bring champagne

 

sweet Christ, Bosie
the lawyer has produced the letters I gave you in court
how in God’s name did they find their way to his hands?
I told you to burn them
what letters
our — letters of an intimacy, Alfred
ahhh
did u give them to me when I was wearing that velvet suit
I don’t know
I think so
I do think so
because i gave that away
the letters?
or the suit?
i mean both i guess
like the letters were in the suit probably
lol idk i gave that guy a LOT of stuff
what guy?
the sex guy
that one guy who has sex for money
or like one of the guys who has sex for money
hahaha
obviously there’s not just the one
JESUS

 

Bosie, what is this?
um
its my translation of Salmoe i did for you?
SALOMÉ
IT’S “SALOMÉ”
thats what i said
its the version i did of your Salmon in English
youre welcome
do you even speak French
uhh what kind of a question is that
champagne
merde
yes i speak french
what does this sentence mean?
‘On ne doit regarder que dans les miroirs’?
“don’t look in mirrors”
“buy low, sell mirrors”
“a mirror saved is a mirror earned”
IT MEANS
“ONE SHOULD ONLY LOOK IN MIRRORS”
right
something about mirrors
it’s French, it’s all the same thing
oh and not to be a dick or anything by the way
but i havent gotten my translators fee yet??

 

Bosie, are you at home?
yeah
do u want me to CUM OVER
lol
;)

Bosie, I’m ill and Constance is away
could you please come by the house and see me?
ahhh sorry im actually not in town right now?
you said you were going to come over a moment ago
i
say
a lot of things
but
um
im in jail right now
in France
in french jail so
hope u feel better soon babe
get better so we can have sex when youre better and not gross

 

Bosie
Bosie darling, they’re sending me to Pentonville for two years
I must see you before I go
please come
sorry new phone who is this
also like whoever this is I like girls now
I mean I liked them before
just like a heads up
girls: I’m for ’em
their legs and what have you
all the various bits that make up girls, physically and sexually and so on
big fan
so if you know any girls for sex
send them my way
send them my sexual way
(for sex)

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