how much do you love me
are you in prison again?
lol that was like one time in france
it doesn’t count as prison if you’re in france
what are you doing like right now
I’m trying to finish The Importance of Being Earnest
stop doing that and sue my dad
you should sue my dad
why would I do that?
he’s been telling everyone you’re gay
I am gay
well but he’s being really shitty about it
everyone’s shitty about it
well then just sue him because he sucks and I hate him
that doesn’t seem like much of a basis for a legal case
oh my god
are you going to sue him or not
all I want is a boyfriend who will sue my dad
I really don’t think that’s too much to ask
a boyfriend who will sue my dad and also come down to the Savoy to bail me out because they keep saying I owe them like £300 for champagne and sex grease
like I brought my OWN sex grease obviously
babe come over
are you all right, my ivory poppet?
come over and take care of me
it’s the boys’ first day of school
and Constance’s birthday
come over im dying
I’ll be there
sweet Christ, Bosie
the lawyer has produced the letters I gave you in court
how in God’s name did they find their way to his hands?
I told you to burn them
our — letters of an intimacy, Alfred
did u give them to me when I was wearing that velvet suit
I don’t know
I think so
I do think so
because i gave that away
or the suit?
i mean both i guess
like the letters were in the suit probably
lol idk i gave that guy a LOT of stuff
the sex guy
that one guy who has sex for money
or like one of the guys who has sex for money
obviously there’s not just the one
Bosie, what is this?
its my translation of Salmoe i did for you?
thats what i said
its the version i did of your Salmon in English
do you even speak French
uhh what kind of a question is that
yes i speak french
what does this sentence mean?
‘On ne doit regarder que dans les miroirs’?
“don’t look in mirrors”
“buy low, sell mirrors”
“a mirror saved is a mirror earned”
“ONE SHOULD ONLY LOOK IN MIRRORS”
something about mirrors
it’s French, it’s all the same thing
oh and not to be a dick or anything by the way
but i havent gotten my translators fee yet??
Bosie, are you at home?
do u want me to CUM OVER
Bosie, I’m ill and Constance is away
could you please come by the house and see me?
ahhh sorry im actually not in town right now?
you said you were going to come over a moment ago
a lot of things
im in jail right now
in french jail so
hope u feel better soon babe
get better so we can have sex when youre better and not gross
Bosie darling, they’re sending me to Pentonville for two years
I must see you before I go
sorry new phone who is this
also like whoever this is I like girls now
I mean I liked them before
just like a heads up
girls: I’m for ’em
their legs and what have you
all the various bits that make up girls, physically and sexually and so on
so if you know any girls for sex
send them my way
send them my sexual way
Mallory is an Editor of The Toast.