Previously: a Decemberists album where nobody gets murdered.

“Everything In This Song Is Spelled According To Modern Convention”

“A Girl Who Is Alive And Not Anne Frank Plays A Piano Without Any Semen On It”

“No One Visited The Penny Arcade That Day”

“The Characters On This Old-Timey Postcard Have Not Come To Life To Comfort You About Your Parents’ Divorce”

“The Boy With One Head On His Body”

“I Have Pictures Of My Living Family And No Pictures Of Executed Criminals In This Photo Album”

“My Mother Is A Human Woman And Not A Trash Can”

“The Ship Reached Its Destination Safely”

“I’ve Never Buried Anyone, Have You?”

“Forks Are For Eating With And Nothing Else”

“Sure, The Holocaust Was Awful But That’s Not Really Something We Need To Talk About On Such A Nice Night”

“The Dog Lived”

“Let’s Not Talk About Our Bodily Fluids Until We’ve Gotten To Know Each Other Better”

“Girls Who Live Above The Ground And Not Buried Underneath It Are My Favorite Kind Of Girls”

“None Of Us Are Bleeding”

“This Ferris Wheel Has No Ghosts On It, Just Paying Customers”

“Nobody Is Floating In Space After Committing Infanticide”

“Your Spine Is Your Own Business And I Won’t Replace It With Newspapers”