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Home: The Toast

This post is brought to you by Seth D. Michaels.

NCP021195130  01

oh wow
flowers
the kind you get from the dirt, for free
how thoughtful

proposal42

I SAID, I’ll think about it
look are we gonna finish this chess game or what

The Wooing of Daphnis exhibited 1881 by Arthur Lemon 1850-1912

mmm
idk
i kind of already have all the cows i need
so i don’t really see what i would get out of this

Too Late 1858 by William Lindsay Windus 1822-1907

well you’re too late, Richard
I’m a lesbian now
WE’RE ALL LESBIANS NOW
ARE YOU HAPPY
YOU LEFT AND NOW WE’RE ALL LESBIANS AND EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE

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hang on
lemme just finish this chapter

The Proposal (The Marquis and Griselda) circa 1850 by Frederic George Stephens 1828-1907

is he wearing red tights
is this man seriously wearing red tights while he proposes at me

Palemon and Lavinia circa 1792 by Henry Singleton 1766-1839

i dunno
i kind of have a lot on my mind right now
i have a lot of
wheat in my skirt
and that’s a whole thing
so i don’t think this is a very good idea

A Foregone Conclusion 1885 by Sir Lawrence Alma-Tadema 1836-1912

oh my god
oh my god Tess you did it
he actually bought a ring

shh
he’ll hear you
this is hilarious
if you can’t keep a straight face you’re going to ruin the whole thing
oh my god no i can do it i swear
ahahaha what a chump though
look at him staring at it

The Wedding of St George and Princess Sabra 1857 by Dante Gabriel Rossetti 1828-1882

i will marry you if only to get my arm back
can you give me my arm back now please
and also stop kissing me on the bridge of my nose
which is like how no one has ever kissed anyone ever

Aurora Leigh's Dismissal of Romney ('The Tryst') 1860 by Arthur Hughes 1832-1915

look
i’m just going to be honest with you
no

proposal9

hey thanks for all the kissing but you should know
you’re stepping on all the corn
and kind of ruining it
so im gonna have to ask you to leave

come on
forget the corn
run away with me
lets get married
ok that’s sweet but see
the difference between you and the corn
is that i’m still going to need this corn during the winter

proposal10

this ring is
not nearly big enough to make up for your face

proposal15

what
no
im totally listening
this is my listening guitar
im playing my listening song

proposal19

can you fucking believe this guy

Stages of Cruelty circa 1856 by Ford Madox Brown 1821-1893

what
no
babe i wasnt laughing at you
i was just thinking of something funny that happened to me earlier today
when this idiot asked me to marry him

Screen Shot 2014-11-06 at 1.01.13 PM

I SAID
BE WITH YOU
IN A MINUTE

proposal25

you had fucking better not be trying to propose to me with flowers 

proposal28

no
im good
you go ahead
i think ill just stay here
on this bridge
by myself

Screen Shot 2014-11-06 at 1.04.16 PM

babe i dont know what youre talking about
what guy
i dont even know who you mean
i always had this ring on
he’s nobody, baby

proposal30

sorry i look so sad
it’s just because
i’m so disappointed

proposal33

cant talk right now, weaving
cant marry anybody right now, weaving, sorry
just leave the flowers and jewelry on the floor

proposal37

no shes not here
idk where she is but its not here
its somewhere else
ok good luck bye!!
ill tell her you were looking for her good luck ok bye!!!
sorry this curtains really heavy so i have to close it now

proposal38

cheer up babes
i promise i’ll choose between you so soon
sooner if you stop scowling and put some smiles on those pretty faces of yours

The First Cloud 1887 by Sir William Quiller Orchardson 1832-1910

lol bye

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