This post is brought to you by Seth D. Michaels.
oh wow
flowers
the kind you get from the dirt, for free
how thoughtful
I SAID, I’ll think about it
look are we gonna finish this chess game or what
mmm
idk
i kind of already have all the cows i need
so i don’t really see what i would get out of this
well you’re too late, Richard
I’m a lesbian now
WE’RE ALL LESBIANS NOW
ARE YOU HAPPY
YOU LEFT AND NOW WE’RE ALL LESBIANS AND EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE
hang on
lemme just finish this chapter
is he wearing red tights
is this man seriously wearing red tights while he proposes at me
i dunno
i kind of have a lot on my mind right now
i have a lot of
wheat in my skirt
and that’s a whole thing
so i don’t think this is a very good idea
oh my god
oh my god Tess you did it
he actually bought a ring
shh
he’ll hear you
this is hilarious
if you can’t keep a straight face you’re going to ruin the whole thing
oh my god no i can do it i swear
ahahaha what a chump though
look at him staring at it
i will marry you if only to get my arm back
can you give me my arm back now please
and also stop kissing me on the bridge of my nose
which is like how no one has ever kissed anyone ever
look
i’m just going to be honest with you
no
hey thanks for all the kissing but you should know
you’re stepping on all the corn
and kind of ruining it
so im gonna have to ask you to leave
come on
forget the corn
run away with me
lets get married
ok that’s sweet but see
the difference between you and the corn
is that i’m still going to need this corn during the winter
this ring is
not nearly big enough to make up for your face
what
no
im totally listening
this is my listening guitar
im playing my listening song
can you fucking believe this guy
what
no
babe i wasnt laughing at you
i was just thinking of something funny that happened to me earlier today
when this idiot asked me to marry him
I SAID
BE WITH YOU
IN A MINUTE
you had fucking better not be trying to propose to me with flowers
no
im good
you go ahead
i think ill just stay here
on this bridge
by myself
babe i dont know what youre talking about
what guy
i dont even know who you mean
i always had this ring on
he’s nobody, baby
sorry i look so sad
it’s just because
i’m so disappointed
cant talk right now, weaving
cant marry anybody right now, weaving, sorry
just leave the flowers and jewelry on the floor
no shes not here
idk where she is but its not here
its somewhere else
ok good luck bye!!
ill tell her you were looking for her good luck ok bye!!!
sorry this curtains really heavy so i have to close it now
cheer up babes
i promise i’ll choose between you so soon
sooner if you stop scowling and put some smiles on those pretty faces of yours
lol bye
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Mallory is an Editor of The Toast.