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“For an Asian girl, you sure are cool.”

“I know all about the 38th parallel.”

“I bet you give really good massages.”

“Will you walk on my back?”

“I know karate.”

“I know tae kwon do.”

“You look like a gal I had during the war.”

“I heard Asian girls love to fuck.”

“You remind me of my fourth wife.”

“I love Thai food.”

“Asians ride for free.”

“I have yellow fever and you’re the cure.”

“Are you half? Half-sexy, half fine.”

“I’m done with white girls. They are too much drama.”

“I’m done with black girls. They are too much drama.”

“I’ve always wanted to date an Asian girl.”

“I love your almond-shaped eyes.”

“Say it in Chinese.”

“I love Korean BBQ.”

“Do you really eat dogs?”

“You don’t have an accent.”

“You talk like a white girl.”

“You like the white boys, don’t you?”

“…you look exactly like Lucy Liu.”

“…you look exactly like Kelly Hu.”

“…you look exactly like Margaret Cho.”

“What are you?”

“Where are you from?”

“But where are you really from?”

“No, really, what’s your nationality?”

“So is it true? Is your pussy slanted?”

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Victoria Namkung is a Los Angeles-based writer and cultural commentator. She recently finished her first novel. Find Victoria on Twitter.

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