I’m good with dogs the way others are good at math, or tennis, or open-mouth kissing. It’s a gift, really — my ability to effortlessly interact all the different breeds. Some people might say I’m captivated by them but I believe that they’re captivated by me. The dogs, not the people. But the people too because of how good I am with the dogs. The owners take notice. They’ll say, “She’s usually not this friendly” or “Wow, he really likes you!” and I’ll think “I know.” But I never say it aloud, I just smile and nod like I’m an average person and not my great-with-dogs self.
Of course owning a dog is great — a little buddy to come home to every night who doesn’t mind that you wear Looney Tunes nightgowns and will even help you clean by eating food dropped on the floor. But no dog interaction is quite as sweet as that of a stranger’s. Dogs you meet in public are the surprise onion ring in life’s grand order of french fries. They’re bonus dogs and they’re everywhere. And since I’m a kind and just person, I want you to be able to get the most out of them the way I do every damn day.
Consent:
Essentially, there are two ways to pet someone else’s dog: with or without permission. It’s good to see someone out with their dog, approach them, and calmly ask “Hi, can I pet her or him?*” Usually they will say yes, like you anticipated. But sometimes the dog will be maladjusted and not used to the affection of strangers so you’ll get a hard “no.” That’s ok, and now you know instead of attempting petting to be brutally and hurtfully rebuffed by a bark, growl, or bite.
Now is also a good time to get the scoop from the owner. Ask questions like:
“What’s their name?”
“How old is she/he?”
“What breed are they?”
“Do you share ownership with a significant other or are you flying solo on this endeavor?”
It’s nice to pretend to want to know more about a person under the pretense of dog interaction. It gives the illusion of being social and equipped to handle small talk. But most importantly, it buys you time to get in all of your petting. The longer you chat the longer you pet. Learning the dog’s name is also crucial for future interaction. There’s no rush quite like spotting a dog that you’ve already met and being able to recall their name. It’s even sweeter when that dog is with a different owner and you know the dog and the dog knows you but the owner doesn’t know you’ve met before. It’s kind of the feeling you get when you have an office hookup and the next day only you two know and all of your coworkers are none the wiser, I would imagine.
There are other grayer areas of permission that are usually only practiced by more advanced petters like myself. Sometimes it’s difficult or awkward to ask about petting. A good move is to get the dog interested in you, making the dog and owner think it was the dog’s idea to approach you even though you know the real truth. This can be broken down into three easy steps.
Contact: Lock eyes with the dog and make it recognize that it needs to be petted by you. More than walkies or treatsies, it longs for your touch.
Engagement: Wiggling suggestively or mouthing phrases like “HEEEEEY” or “Ohhhh hiiiii” at the dog will set their approach into motion. Keep in mind you’re trying to do this undetected by the owner. Concentrate on sending vibes over making gestures.
Approach: This is when the dog comes to YOU. Now you have no choice but to pet it. This was the dog’s idea and a good owner wouldn’t want to disappoint their beloved, now would they? Everyone is happy.
Then there are times when the owner isn’t present and this is your chance for a veritable free-for-all of permission-less petting. This usually happens when a dog is tied up outside a dog-free establishment.** Here you really need to exhibit caution during the approach. You could get bitten but also it could be worth it. Use good judgement. And remember to make the most of this private session and enjoy it fully. Allow the dog to jump up on you with abandon without the scrutinizing eyes of a jealous owner. Want to know their name? Check their tags without having to utter even a single word to an uppity Greg or Sarah. But remember there’s a time limit and no real way of knowing when their owner might emerge and spot you two together. If you do get “caught” it’s usually fine. Why would anyone place their dog in the arms of the public if they didn’t want it to be showered in kisses and love by attractive passersby? If they try to talk to you about their dog just be polite and pretend you didn’t totally already know the dog’s full name was Ash McGonagle and that they live on 101 Dog Fun St.
And finally, there will be instances when you’re approaching a leashed dog and owner, and you don’t have the time or wherewithal to stop and chat. You’re both in a hurry and a stop-and-pet is not imminent. But you need to get your fix. Do what I do and simply pass normally but with an outstretched hand. Lay it on flat on the dog’s back and keep walking while your palm sweeps over their body. What a thrill. You got that precious skin-on-fur contact and the dog barely knew what hit her or him. Life is sweet.
*Never misgender a dog. Always offer a choice of the pronouns her or him and absolutely never, under any circumstance, label a person’s dog IT. It is for chairs or plants — beings without the capacity for love that are incapable of rescuing humans from rubble and shitting out their entire life force because they ate something weird off the ground.
**Fucktown of lies
Tags: advice, Angela Vitello, animals, dogs
Related Posts
Today I Learned About The Anti-Vaccinating Dog Movement
Celebrities I Have Long Believed Are Enchanted Dogs In Human Form
Alternate Titles For Ted 2 I Have Thought To Myself While Guiltily Laughing At The Radio Trailer Where Mark Wahlberg Says “Briefcase” In A Funny Voice And I Am Not Ashamed
The Desert Is Wide And Full Of Haters
Here Is A Video I Took Of Piglets Racing A Hurdle Course This Weekend
No One In Medieval Europe Knew What A Deer Looked Like
Oh man, I’m torn. On the one hand, I have absolutely been known to shower a stranger’s dog in unsolicited affection. On the other hand, as the owner of a large dog who attracts attention everywhere we go, depending on my mood I sometimes LOATHE the “small talk while you pet my dog” routine. I don’t care if you pet my dog! Just don’t make me talk to you.
At least once a month easily someone sends this screencap to me and says “YOU SAID THIS EXACT PHRASE TO ME.”
I’m the creep who makes sure to route her runs through the dog park with my earbuds in so I can pet the dogs but also not talk to people.
But please, for god’s sake, be really really careful about petting tied up dogs – even when they seem friendly, they can still bite (my sister definitely got bitten on the face like this). Plus, the owner is not there to help mitigate disaster. As the owner of a pretty terrifying cat, I really relate to pet owners who are like “please, no, don’t do that… it’s for your own good…. no, please don – OH GOD I’M SO SORRY HERE LET’S DEAL WITH THAT BLEEDING RIGHT AWAY”.
Also, please teach the small children in your lives not to pet strange dogs unless they ask the dog’s owner. I remember this being taught in kindergarten when I was a dog-obsessed child, but, like, let’s reinforce this, as a society. (Adults are free to take their own chances, I guess, but little kids don’t understand that they’re not a friend to all living things, and they shouldn’t have to learn this by getting bitten.)
YES. Thank you. I appreciate the wonderful humor, and also the deep need to get some lovin’ from our furry friends, appropriate behavior and listening to the owner is so, so vitally important.
I have a horse like that. He is horrible and really will bite, and nobody believes me despite his gnashing teeth and rolling eyes, they all inssit theyr’e the horse whisperer and they will be The One to break through his anger. They never are.
ARGH.
It’s also tough because listen, my cat is really mean sometimes because he is stressed out in those time. (He’s enormous and well-armed because of genetic and pure Yule Cat luck). So when I ask you to stop trying to pet him or whatever, I’m doing it for him, for you, and finally for me, because I don’t want to end up with a bleeding friend and a even more anxious cat, violations of both the friend-code and the cat-guardian code SO JUST STOP. When I say stop, just stop. Don’t try to cat-whisper him.
My friend recently told me that it was “fine” that my cat was sniffing around his four-month-old baby. I was like “no, it’s not fine. Babies move like horrifying hell-beasts according to my cat, and have grabby little hands, and this could end in something really terrible really really quickly.”*
*My cat is not a total monster, in fact he’s very very sweet and cuddly a lot of the time, but he weighs 20 lbs, has razor sharp teeth and claws, and can be suddenly aggressive in a way that is unpredictable if you don’t know him, and is also very protective and therefore must keep an eye on all goings-on at the house.
Our dearly departed Tylerkitty was similar. I remember urging my brother-in-law not to try to pet her – Just ignore her! Please! – and hearing a hiss and looking over to see him *trying to pick her up.* Dude. I don’t want to have to deal with Very Upset Kitty because you won’t listen, and I never want to hear that infuriated growl-scream again!
Any advice for this situation?
Who should I open petting negotiations with first? The Dog Sitter? Or the Dogs Sat?
I suggest establishing a gaze somewhere in the middle of the crowd. Each dog will think you’re making personal eye contact, and it will be up to the group to determine who gets first crack at your love and ear scritchies. After the puppies have determined that they want your love, make eye contact with the dog dog sitter, in order to establish that you’re not trying to usurp his/her authority or harm his/her charges.
There are kids in my neighbourhood who not only know my dog’s name, but have made up a song about him.
The kids in my neighborhood know me as “where’s your dog?” (Their love is unrequited; my dog is terrified of strangers in general and children in particular).
I try to respect dogs that aren’t into being petted- the ones that are like “ok, I’ll tolerate this, whatever”, I give a few pets and then let go. But when you find a dog who LOVES PETTING, oh my god. Best. THE BEST. I had a Golden lean directly into my knees and beg for scratches a few years ago and I still think about how great it was. best hound!!!
I take my dog to a weekly puppy playtime, 25% for his benefit and 75% because there is a big lab there that loves to lean into the cuddles.
Oh god, the Retriever Lean is THE BEST. When I was growing up one of our dogs was an obese, dopey, loving golden-retriever/black-lab mix and she had that technique down pat; it makes me so so happy when I encounter another of her make out in the world.
People always harbor fond feelings for someone who says “You have such a way with animals!” and “X is never this affectionate; I don’t know how you do it!”
I deployed this fact all the time when I lived with a dog, and ended up with several life-long friends as a result.
I relate to this article so hard. Especially the subversive “get the dog to approach you” method.
I’ve found that most dogs are powerless to resist eye contact.
Agreed! Also just getting close enough / in their path so they can sniff / investigate you, and you have an excuse to say “oh it’s totally fine” and initiate petting when the owners inevitably apologize.
Really, if you just think really hard about how you want to pet them, they’ll probably notice. Dogs can pick up on that.
No actually, dogs have a natural aversion to eye contact, so that bit is bad advice. Some dogs do like eye contact (typically the ones that are most fond of people & being petted), but many dogs get intimidated or feel threatened if looked straight into the eyes (by people or other dogs). Some may be so provoked they growl or attack, so “locking eyes” with a stranger dog is very bad advice. Dogs naturally avoid direct eye contact and a directly confronting face to face approach. Dogs tend to prefer to sort of curve around strangers (dogs, people) and connect by sitting or standing next to each other, not starring into each others’ eyes. They direct face to face approach to making friends is a primate thing. It is better to approach stranger dogs somewhat sidewards and show respect their personal space, then when they warm up, sit down and pet them on the side and chest et.c, then I bet they won’t let you leave again and then they’ll probably also be fine with you looking them into the eyes, no longer a stranger.
I don’t lock eyes, so much as look at them long enough for them to know I’ve seen them, then look away. Dogs which want to be friends will then come and rub up against my legs (leaving me no option other than to pet them and tell them how good they are), and ones which do not will simply keep going wherever they were going.
I’m sure that by now, all of my friends are so tired of hearing my “story” about the Irish Wolfhound that lives in my neighborhood. The story is this:
AN IRISH WOLFHOUND LIVES IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD!!!
I would never tire of that story.
There are two Irish wolfhounds living next to an arroyo where I walk my dogs! I get to see them several times a week! We call it Wolfhound Arroyo now.
GreenGrasses do you by any chance live in Carroll Gardens? Because an Irish Wolfhound lives in MY neighborhood, and his name is Beckett, and he has a crush on my dog.
I do not! I am a resident of Somerville MA! But perhaps the dogs in our neighborhoods are friends/penpals?
The dog park near my old house was frequented by TWO Irish Wolfhounds. Their names were Winston and Emily and no matter how many times I saw them it always felt sort of like seeing a unicorn (well, two unicorns).
I had an Irish Wolfhound named Mordred and he had more friends in our neighborhood than I did!
Goldens are my favorite breed specifically because they LOVE TO BE LOVED. One time a Golden puppy nuzzled me while waiting to cross the street with her owner and my response to the owner’s apology was “Please do not apologize for a dog this adorable” which probably made me sound like a giant creep.
I used to be a groundskeeper for these rich people who had a couple Goldens. One of them loved chasing skunks, swimming in the pond, and me. She would regularly get sprayed by skunks and then hang out at my side all day, being sure to go for a swim every now and then to keep her scent fresh. I loved that dog
My tried and true method is to kneel down and let the dog smell my hand before I start the petting. This can also work well for getting the dog’s attention without the owner noticing: just walk really slowly past the dog while dangling your hand in the general direction of its nose.
Another good method is to find a dog that is already being petted by a stranger. That way you don’t really need to chat with the owner; you can just join in on petting the dog.
yes! I read years ago that you should offer a dog your closed fist to sniff before petting them (closed fist because it’s harder to bite/you’ll sustain less damage if they do bite), so I do that now. Also some dogs can be nervous about being touched on the head, but are ok with you scratching their chest, so that is often my go-to with nervous or REALLY EXCITED pups. #dogtactics
I let the dog sniff my hand, then move on to scratching along the edge of the jaw, below the ears. They can see my hand moving in a straight line that way, and I’m not getting near their eyes. After establishing myself as a source of affection, rather than danger, I can generally move on to scratching behind the ears and under the collar.
Yeah that’s my method too…I ask the owner if I can say “Hi” then offer my hand for them to sniff before moving in for the head rubs and butt scratches!
One winter there was a tiny French Bulldog puppy that CLIMBED UP MY ARM when I bent down to pet her (the ground was cold! My coat was wool!) The owner apologized and I don’t know why because I can’t imagine my face was doing anything but :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
OMG I love this! I adore French bulldogs and I really want one…even though I know they’re expensive, have health problems, and there’s plenty of other dogs that need adopting.
The heart wants what the heart wants I guess.
You can always look into rescue organizations! (Sorry, I volunteer at a shelter so this is basically required) And if you ever do end up getting one, uh, start saving immediately for potential problems like luxating patellas and what not so the cost doesn’t mean your buddy ends up at a rescue organization.
And also post pictures of your dog EVERY DAY.
“Luxating Patella” sounds way to glamorous for what appears to be a very painful condition.
It looks like it’d be some sort of delicious expensive thing spread on crackers, right?
There was an incredibly cute dog tied up outside a Walgreens once, and I was like “Ohhhh hiiii dogggyyyyy” and I tried to approach him or her for petting and was rebuffed with terrible barking. Loud, sustained, angry barking. I backed away and pretended like I had no idea what was going on when the human came out of the store. I feel like if your dog is not very friendly, you should not leave him or her unattended in public, because 1) danger and 2) crushing disappointment.
Last week I had a similar situation with a dog that lives along the trail from my work into town. There’s a dog that normally lies around unleashed in front of one of the houses bordering on the trail, ignoring everyone, but that day he was on the trail and started barking and pgrowling at me when I went to walk by to get to the coffee shop. I ended up turning around and heading back to the office, with him following me part of the way. I am holding his owners directly responsible for my lack of coffee and shitty work performance that day!
I am sorry if this was my dog. We muzzle him because he’s huge and deceptive: he lures people in with his beautiful, fluffy face and excited wags and whimperings, and then barks his head off when people get close enough to really terrify. (No biting but the barking is enough.) We tie him up b/c good god he needs lots of walks and sometime you run out of toilet paper and want to kill 2 birds with 1 stone.
I know this situation, and I KNOW when this happens it has nothing to do with you, personally, just the dog has a strangers or maybe a leash problem, okay, but it still not only disappoints but also makes me embarrassed, with hurt feelings, by a dog, which then is compounded by anxious self-reflection as I fret about the fact that I am so thin-skinned that I let a dog hurt my feelings. Ah!
Also some dogs feel threatened and cornered when they are approached when they are tied up. Generally the rule is, despite what this article may say, don’t approach tied-up dogs on their own. It’s tempting! But dogs are creatures with feelings, and sometimes those feelings are NO and not CUDDLES.
I like playing crazy uncle to my sisters’ dogs.
‘Hey there ya beautiful fluff-face, who wants to go batshit wonkybonkers with me and run all over the furniture? YOU do?! Hooray!’
My sisters do not like me. They are right to feel this way.
My mother calls me up to give details on the neighbourhood dogs. She knows many of her neighbours only as “[dog’s name]’s Mom/Dad”
My neighbors have two of the sweetest dogs in the world. I actually go over there to hang out with the dogs as much as I go over to see my neighbors.
Oh my goodness last year there was a St. Bernard in my building. I never learned the name of the bro who cohabitated with him, but I knew Barf the St. Bernard very well.
the dog’s name was BARF?!
I have a sneaking suspicion he would have been named for the Spaceballs character:
http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/736x/42/f9/1c/4…
A well-timed waggle of the eyebrows while making eye contact worked for me last week.
ETA: That was supposed to be in reply to octopoda above.
This article makes me smile, but it also makes me jump into taking-it-way-too-seriously mode: if someone smiles at you vaguely and insistently tugs their dog on regardless of whether the dog seems well behaved or not, PLEASE don’t trail after and try the smalltalk thing. Some of us have super demanding dogs that require a lot of walking and we’re ready to finish up. Sometimes it’s winter. It’s cold and muddy and we haven’t slept well and it’s getting dark and oh god, please, PLEASE just let me finish the walk and collapse into bed, PLEASE, I feel at one with the damp, muddy ground and wish to be free of it.
It is always my goal to trick my neighbors who own energetic dogs into letting me walk them a couple of times a week. I’ve succeeded twice, but then we had to move.
I enjoy the suggestion here that your having to move led directly on from your getting to walk the dogs.
My dog-walking commitments were too much for me! They’d taken over my life! I had to walk eleven dogs 14 hours a day, and then teach them adorable tricks!
My spouse waited until I collapsed after my sixth dog-walking, stuffed me into a bag, and moved me two hours away from the dogs.
The neighbors figured out the trick. Viz. that the fake cast I’d put on the neighbor’s leg wasn’t real, and then they wanted to start walking their own dogs again. I reacted… poorly.
Next time, I’ma click-train the dog to trot over to my house with the leash in its mouth. (I am terrible at click-training. This is a pipe-dream.)
(No, for serious, we got jobs in a different city.)
Ssh, don’t kill my dreams.
One of the biggest disappointments of my recent life was
1. New neighbors move in next door OMG THEY HAVE DOGS
2. Dogs don’t like us, bark, and act aggressive at the fence! NOOO
3. Hey, they got a puppy! Maybe this time! HI, PUPPY
4. Nope.
Repeat 3. and 4.
My consolation is that they don’t really bark at us any more after one or two huffs, even when I monologue all the way to my car/the trash can/whatever. “Silly puppies! Hello, Hurley! You sweet pooch baby! Oh, Charley! You don’t have to bark at me, you silly thing!” etc.
This was a small, fluffy dog. OMG, such a cutie.
This is the most relevant piece The Toast has ever published.
I once saw an attractive young man with a golden retriever puppy walk out of a card shop and into a cupcake shop. If the object of his affection did not immediately propose marriage upon receipt of card, cupcake and puppy kisses then I don’t know what is wrong with them.
PUPPY! PUPPY PUPPY PUPPY PUPPY.
My pack!! I’ve found my pack!!!!!! Dogs are the best, and this is excellent advice for maximum puppy smushes!
The joys of my world:
The 2-year-old lab-golden mix currently (finally) sacked out across my legs
The 16 lb. cat who helped wear her out
The Jack-chihuahua mix next door and his human siblings who love my pup
The big, dog-filled park a block from my house where we take our walks, make friends with other dogs, and visit with the children on the playground who think my dog is the best (she is)
The dog-friendly bar two-blocks from my house where we take the dog when we’d rather drink beer than walk her
TWO local wine shops with awesome shop dogs
Puppy play group every week (so glad someone else here does puppy playgroup)
Knowing there are so many people who prioritize and strategize for pup cuddles!
I am a person with remarkable dogs ( one extra large uncommon breed, one spectacular little mutt who reminds everyone of their childhood dream dog, favorite stuffed animal or beloved movie dog). Until recently I was the dog-less weirdo hanging in the dog park fence staring longingly. So now I indulge all small talk and petting. Strangers’ dogs have been the brightest spot in my day so many times that I now consider it an honor and a duty to let strangers sample my dogs.
And I have a weird confession: sometimes when someone seems extra happy- especially the verge-of-tears kind of extra-happy- to meet my dogs, I lie and say my dogs aren’t usually this friendly. They seem to like you especially.
Anyway, come stroll around Bushwick. You’ll know us when you see us.
you are an absolute angel!
See, I don’t see the issue with misgendering dogs. Strangers are always calling my male dog she and then they are sooo apologetic when I tell them his very masculine name. People, I am not offended, it makes no difference to him what pronoun you use. I tried saying, ‘it’s ok, he has a small penis’ when they start apologizing, like, easy mistake to make, no hard feelings, but apparently they aren’t looking for penises when they assign pronouns to dogs and it just made the interaction uncomfortable.
See, I feel the same as you about my own pets (people always assume my female dog is a male and I do not care in the least), but when I worked at a vet’s office I learned very quickly to NEVER misgender pets. People take it as an ENORMOUS insult and, like, an affront to their pets’ masculinity/femininity or something. I had multiple people yell at me for it. So now I apologize profusely if I accidentally misgender an animal!
I don’t look dogs in the eye because I know it can be interpreted as a challenge- or at least that’s what they told me at SPCA orientation. But I do what I can to get in their line of sight and hopeful petting zone!
One thing I loved about my dad’s old greyhound, Stella, was that she was very good with strange children who wanted to pet her. She wasn’t the friendliest dog, but she somehow always knew to be nice and gentle with little kids.
I am fortunate enough to appeal to most dogs. Most respond well to calm and confidence – pity i can’t always say that of the owners! For me ignoring the dog draws them to me. All but the shyest will approach if I look in threatening but accessible.
There was a mysterious giant black shaggy dog that would appear tied up outside my college’s cafeteria about once a week. I never found out who the dog belonged to, but I am convinced that magnificent animal saved my life by allowing me to bury my face in his/her spectacular neck fluff and soak up some much needed affection. I loved that dog more than I’ve loved some people, and I never even knew his/her name.
I never mind if someone get the sex of the dog wrong the first time, my mini Schnauzer is always ( incorrectly) assumed to be a boy dog, my elderly Maltese X always (correctly) assumed to be female. I do mind a bit if the same person always get it wrong, every time…
This is the best thing, and you are a diamond among humans, Angela Vitello.
Angela this is an absolutely brilliant piece! Thank you 🙂
Also, it’s nice to ask (if there’s any question at all) if the dog is working.
Once upon a time, I came upon a lady in an electric wheelchair, and I asked her if her Dachshund was working. “Yes! But thank you for asking! You obviously were raised with lovely manners You should thank your parents for raising you properly!” she proclaimed. I was on a high for WEEKS. WEEKS, people. (I thanked her and smiled at the dog.)
Oh my god I love this. I always factor in extra time for my hoofs just in case I make a new dog friend.
When I was little the woman over the road had this big horrifying rottweiler called Rocky who used to strain off his lead at children – Rocky’s only weak sweet spot was that he was 100% ‘love me cuddle me be my master’ butt crazy in love with my dad and used to make his person wait at the end of our path on morning walks just in case my dad came out and agreed to pet him.
The ground was cold, my coat was wool, I have a bird I like to hold…
I’ve always considered myself a cat person. Dogs =/= my cup of tea.
I went to visit my sister who has a lovely greyhound named Arthur. Despite my best intentions, I kept finding my hands inevitably drawn to stroke and pet him, especially the underside of his neck where it’s all soft and feels like baby rabbits and happiness. My sister kept saying, “Arthur isn’t usually like this with strangers! You have such a way with animals!”
She may well have been lying. This may have been one of the most blatant falsehoods since the invention of falsehoods.
Long story short, I’ve got a Grey of my own laying on the floor beside me longingly eyeing my plate of leftover meatloaf. We’ve gotta do what we’ve gotta do.
aaaaannndddd….. commenting fail, both of my comments here were MEANT to be posted as replies to comments upthread. *facepalm*
I am a dog-petting slut, but I have to disagree with one piece of advice: “Make Eye Contact”
As a teen I was hanging out with a friend, and she struck up a conversation with a man who had a German Shepherd on a leash. I petted the dog and he seemed fine. My friend continued her conversation with her acquaintance. I was bored, and the dog was beautiful and just standing there, very still, and I was staring absently at its face. It lunged at me without warning and the man yanked him back in midair as I felt his snout bump my forehead and the teeth snap together with only his lips between me and a $10,000 facial reconstruction. Had he jumped an inch lower or had the owner been just slightly less alert I would have lost my nose altogether, I think.
THEN the owner said, “Jeez. He’s a trained attack dog. What did you do?” Yes. He was a dick.
Oddly, I’m not afraid of dogs after that instance, but I am careful and respectful, and I never put my face near a dog unless it is a total cuddle-fest. Also I don’t lick back, because really, I know where that tongue has been 😀
Yup, “Make Eye Contact” is bad advice. Eye contact with dogs can be a useful tool when training but should absolutely not be used casually on strange dogs, because many dogs will interpret it as you being aggressive and will respond as such. I know this article was supposed to be fun and joke-y but it bothered me that this “advice” was included without a warning.
Too close! Glad you are OK. I watch for the dog’s ears to push down, the start of a doggie smile; or maybe a slight crouching motion of the haunches, deferential/greeting gestures. But I’ve often seen sweet dogs trying to make eye contact with me. It’s too bad some dogs will see it as a threatening gesture.
Jesus. A “trained attack dog” is exactly the kind of dog I would expect to be trained NOT TO ATTACK UNLESS TOLD TO DO SO. That guy’s walking a lawsuit, not a dog.
(Also wow @ blaming you. Sorry, but regardless of the fact that many animals take staring as a threat, if your dog can’t control himself, you should not have him out in public. You know who stares a lot? Tiny children.)
(ARGH no I can’t get over this. My dog is leash reactive and nervous of strangers. It is 100% MY JOB to make sure she stays chill in difficult situations, no one else’s. Even if some jerk starts petting her without asking, it is still MY JOB to ensure that she doesn’t react and that she’s able to move away.)
(I got bitten in the park last year by a dog whose owner’s literal, actual reaction was “I told you not to pick up [my much smaller dog].” Excuse me? EXCUSE ME.)
I am also a greyhound owner. They are the physical personification of cuddles, and don’t let anyone tell you differently. I always consider it the greatest compliment to guests when our girl lies on her back with her legs in the air around them. Roaching=comfort.
This is a thing that is true! Does yours snort weirdly, too?
I’m much more of a cat person, but I love watching random strangers interacting with dogs. Last summer I was camped out in line for tickets to Shakespeare in the Park along a path in Central Park, and a morning dog-walker strolled past. The guy next to me in line spent several minutes petting the dog and chatting with the owner, and when they started to move on, the dog turned back and demanded MOAR PETTINGS. It was seriously the most adorable thing ever.
When my now-husband and I were moving in together, he was showing his apartment and a couple of young women came in, saw his Irish Wolfhound and started freaking out: “It’s him! It’s him!” Seems they and their friends thought of Mordred as a local celebrity and had all manner of stories and songs about him. I enjoyed the reflected glow. Another time, a city bus driver pulled over to say how beautiful he was and another time, Sam Waterston saw him on the street and called him “majestic.” I am finished now. I am still glowing.
MORDRED. Yes.
And Sam Waterston is a man who knows from majesty.
This is a thing that is true! Does yours snort weirdly, too?
I had an Irish Wolfhound named Mordred and he had more friends in our neighborhood than I did!
I do door to door fundraising for a social/economic/environmental justice group and hands down meeting strangers’ dogs is the BEST part of that job. Even on a slow night I meet close to fifteen new and exciting dogs that I can befriend. That said the worst thing in the world is finding out that the owner of an amazing dog is a jerk/bigot.
Aw thanks! I grew up with never fewer than 3 dogs in the house (plus some cats) and now I have none, so I am a total dog-slut around strangers' dogs. I think I love running in parks so much partly because it's like I've died and gone to doggy-heaven. Just have to hang on a few more years til I can afford a place big enough to sensibly have a pooch of my own!
Pro tip: refer to their dog as gorgeous, as in “Hi there, Gorgeous!!” Non-gender-specific, flattering, accurate. A winner every time.
Occasionally I look after my sisters yorkshire terrier. If you know these breed of dogs, they are usually small dogs. So, I went through a drive through one day with her dog (there is a doggie seat for him). I got two free ice-creams! One for him and one for me.
No actually, dogs have a natural aversion to eye contact, so that bit is bad advice. Some dogs do like eye contact (typically the ones that are most fond of people & being petted), but many dogs get intimidated or feel threatened if looked straight into the eyes (by people or other dogs). Some may be so provoked they growl or attack, so "locking eyes" with a stranger dog is very bad advice. Dogs naturally avoid direct eye contact and a directly confronting face to face approach. Dogs tend to prefer to sort of curve around strangers (dogs, people) and connect by sitting or standing next to each other, not starring into each others' eyes. They direct face to face approach to making friends is a primate thing. It is better to approach stranger dogs somewhat sidewards and show respect their personal space, then when they warm up, sit down and pet them on the side and chest et.c, then I bet they won't let you leave again and then they'll probably also be fine with you looking them into the eyes, no longer a stranger.