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Home: The Toast

Previously: Dirtbag Theseus.

dio1

you think i dont
you think i cant see that my dick looks like a little orange thumb, like a Cheeto
fuck you is why
ive got a fruit hat
im a BABY goddammit
i already have gout
whats your excuse
hand me that flagon
im sorry
im sorry
i didnt mean that

Screen Shot 2015-01-05 at 10.26.21 AM

I WILL GET THIS LEOPARD DRUNK

dio12

no let’s
shut up
no shut up lets go over there
take me over there there’s a bunch of girls over there
youre my best friend
they look like sluts lets go over there

dio4

pitcher kid
hey pitcher kid whats your name
whatsyourname i mean
you ever been drunk yet
cmere lets get you drunk

dio5

NO
no
im not moving until everyone in the forest has seen the front side of my dick
then im going to flip over so everyone on the other side can see it

dio14

who is this
who the fuck is this on my shoulders
i dont even know any of you
what are you doing here
get the shit out of my house you fucks
why is that guy on the ground
get him out of here
everybody get out of here

dio9

listen
no you listen
no you finally listen to me guy
don’t you come around to MY house and tell me what to do with MY kids
they love wrestling that goat
you think you know better than me?
you think you know better than me what a baby can wrestle?
fuck outta here with your CLOTHES
like you’re better than me
youre not better than me

dio15

wait are we moving
are we moving yet or are we standing still

dio11

okay you three
you three come over here and sit by me
the rest of you stay there
cmere come over here i cant get up come over here and hold my hair i think im ‘na throw up
no wait
im ok
im ok
come over here anyway though

dio10

WHERE ARE THE REST OF MY FUCKING LEOPARDS
THIS PARADE IS BULLSHIT

dio13

no im up
hang on guys
ill get up in a second
im be right there
im up
im up

dio6

hey babe
beautiful
please stop crying
youre really bringing this party down

dio7

hey
hey are you awake
do you want to be my girlfriend
ok
if you want to be my girlfriend and come live with me just don’t wake up
ok you’re still asleep so is that a yes

dio3

babe what are you looking at
cut it
stop it out
look at me
who are you even looking to, look at me

dio2

i know im not wearing any pants
im a GOD
like from OLYMPUS
you think i cant tell if ive got pants on me?
dont be stuck up

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