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Home: The Toast

The Old Straight Track
A woman drives a sinister car down a sinister road. She is texting. She is in the hospital after being struck by a driver who was texting; the first half of the episode is only a dream. Her physician “blocks” her on Facebook after having an argument with his son, which kills her in real life. She goes to Hell. In Hell she is forced to derive ironic punishments for other women who have texted while driving.

The Clearinghouse Dolls
A bunch of dolls just kill everybody because they’re all so busy staring at their phones.

Be Seeing You
The hypocrities of our modern society are exposed.

Grendel’s Mother Pays A Visit At Tea-Time
A woman falls out of a plane and wakes up to find that it wasn’t a plane at all. It was her seven-year-old daughter, who she had murdered because she kept blocking the screen while she (the mother, that is) was trying to watch reality television. Now she’s trapped inside of reality television, and all of the judges are seven-year-old girls with cattle prods. The real monster is society.

An Innocuous Everyday Phrase Imbued With Sinister Meaning Due To Context
A kindly-looking old woman wipes your memory with the trigger phrase “the perils of the technology we rely on in our daily lives.” You won’t remember seeing this episode.

The Sum Of All Feels
A mandatory update to popular social media site MyTunes requires all users to upload their dreams in a continuous loop to an external server. A group of teens is selected to reenact every single dream sequence based on the popularity of their Vines. Maria, a teen, finds herself recreating her best friend Jared’s dreams, and must give up one of her internal organs to a wealthy invalid with every line she flubs.

Raise High The Red String
what if phones, but too much

Nice Weather If You Don’t Mind Rain
Marie Antoinette wakes up on the final day of her life perplexed by the fact that her courtiers insist on speaking to her in modern English. She discovers she is living inside of a vast Reddit simulation, and the only way to free herself is by stopping Hitler, who has disguised himself as the duchess of Marseilles.

The Final Flight Of Marie Templeton
It’s Google Glass, but it’s your whole body, and Marie jumps out the window.

The Men Who Left
It’s Christmas, but everybody’s dead because nobody just reads anymore, you know? Nobody lifts their heads up for a second from those infernal pocket jailers we call phones to even cross the street before being merrily struck by a car. And everyone’s on Twitter, and that’s just terrible, and you’ve murdered everyone, and now it’s Christmas half the time, and murder the other half, and phones all of the time, and it’s all television’s fault.

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