Previously: A Meat Processing Professional Reviews Cormac McCarthy’s The Road
Snowpiercer is presented in a conventional 1.85:1 aspect ratio, the U.S. widescreen cinema standard, and runs for 126 minutes. Although the film has a laudable focus on issues of food security, I sadly cannot recommend it. I appreciate that many hands work on a film such as this, but ultimately I hold the director, Mr. Bong, responsible for the inconsistencies that he has allowed to appear in his product.
The first obvious area of interest is the protein block, the film’s primary on-screen food source. Early in the running time, the male lead discovers that these blocks are comprised of processed insect protein. I have no quarrel with this – in the conditions of the train, entomophagy is a highly sensible choice. Insects provide all nine essential amino acids, valuable fatty acids, and are high in calcium. They also grow very efficiently – insects will produce 12 times the amount of protein from their feed when compared to, say, a cow.
I am also pleased by the jelly-like appearance of the blocks – while I deal with the more traditional mammalian gelatin in my professional life, the gelling agent has also been successfully extracted from insect sources. I truly wish, dear reader, that I could leave it there, and congratulate Mr. Bong on his choice.
Sadly, the response to the revelation of his protein source leaves a lot to be desired. Curtis, the aforementioned male lead, reacts with immediate disgust. One might well expect somewhat less squeamishness from a character who is later revealed to have sought out and consumed human infants! I grant that babies are established to taste better, in the character’s own objective impression. But I would argue that the drive provided by taste is considerably reduced when one’s only options are to eat or die. Sadly, throughout the remainder of the film the protein blocks are continually disparaged, and a valuable opportunity to educate people on a new and sustainable food source is lost.
This loss becomes more pitiable when we learn that, before the protein blocks, the tail section’s main diet was human flesh. This food was, in the end, provided via a system of voluntary limb donation. I do not approve of this system. I have previously had cause to speak of the inefficiency of this “living larder” style of cannibalism, and do not wish to repeat myself. In the film’s defence, the inevitable post amputation deaths from sepsis and shock would indeed provide a source of fresh corpses, and yet more protein for the tail section to consume.
The inciting incident for the voluntary system is revealed to be an elderly man, Gilliam, performing self-amputation with a knife. This will not stand. Perhaps Mr. Bong believes that his own arm is as soft and boneless as a well-aged steak, but I should hope he knows better about the rest of humanity! The removal of limbs requires specialised tools, and a severing of bone and sinew. Without access to these, Mr. Gilliam is at a severe disadvantage. The removal of his limb would have been an extremely long and, presumably, painful process–nothing like the inspiring moment of high drama that is implied. Yet with a suitable axe or bone saw, the problem could have been solved. I would suggest that Mr. Bong does his research next time he talks about removing limbs!
This film created the opportunity for a truly relevant and interesting discussion on the allocation of scarce resources. While it has failed in this instance, I hope that Mr. Bong’s career will provide other opportunities to explore these topics, and to rise to the level which I believe he is capable of.
Editor’s Note: This article has been corrected from its original version. The meat processing professional lacked an understanding of international naming conventions; they wish to apologize and encourage you to eat more meat.
Tags: art, beauty, cannibalism, helen craig, meat, movies
I wasn’t initially sure why this was tagged “Beauty,” but I now understand that to be short for “Beauty, Thing of.”
For another quality joke attached by the editors, see the front page photo of a certain famous meat-processing professional.
Thank you, Meat Processing Professional; this is perfection.
Thank you! I think it was you who originally suggested that the MPP should check out Snowpiercer, which was such a great thing.
I’m so glad it worked out! 🙂
I had similar problems with this movie. What on earth did they think the protein bars were made of?
I love Snowpiercer with great intensity, but…it really works best if you don’t apply a lot of rigorous logic to most of it.
See also: There were way more upper class people than lower class people. Like, at least an order of magnitude from what I could tell. Nothing about that society was long-term sustainable
Well, the train wasn’t intended as a society. It was intended as a luxury tourism vehicle. The “steerage” passengers literally forced their way on when the disaster hit, and they fill no actual productive function.
Yes, this, very much.
It is the best big, dumb summer movie. It is so big, and so, so dumb, but FANTASTIC.
I mean, where the hell were they raising those cows, anyway? Polar bears are carnivorous and will hunt people without any fuss and they don’t live on mountains! Nobody in first makes Curtis into a toy to pass around. Et cetera. Yeah, you really have to apply magical realism to the logic. “IT WORKS BECAUSE STORY OKAY.”
When the kids and Alison Pill all sing, “What happens when the engine stops? We all freeze and die!” I realized what it was: pure dumb entertainment and one of the most fun moviegoing experiences of the year
I had assumed the protein bars were made of children so discovering they were bugs was actually a relief.
Yeah, when I saw his grossed-out face, I was absolutely convinced we were going to see the kids they had taken from the back of the train in there. (and then I started thinking about the Meat Processing Professional’s review of The Road, in which it was discussed how inefficient this would be). I should think a man who beats himself up so much about eating kids would be relieved that it’s just bugs.
EXACTLY!
I know, right? Oh, soylent green is made of insects? Carry on, good folks!
No kidding! The people involved in this movie must have known that some people (including me on occasion) *choose* to eat bugs right?
Whenever anything doesn’t make sense, just remember: the train represents capitalism, and nothing else matters.
“Ayn Rand reviews Snowpiercer”
This is everything I could desire.
We go to the “babies taste best” quote at least once a week at our house.
Eeeeewwww!
(she said admiringly)
Honestly, every single time I think I’ve reached the definitive ‘this is why I love the Toast and we are BFFFFs’ article, another amazing one comes along.
I greatly enjoyed SnowPiercer, in that I greatly enjoy ripping things apart with gusto. My boyfriend doesn’t really understand how much a part of my happiness comes from gleeful pickapart, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t badger him for a solid 2.5 days afterward with logic inconsistencies and stupid lines of dialogue.
This is a major pastime in my household; you can come watch movies with us any time!
I’ll bring the snark and the popcorn!
My fiancé similarly does not understand my need to do this with nearly every piece of media I consume (we in fact stopped going out to “good” films for the most part because the aftermath just frustrated both of us, and sometimes we all invite my brother to see movies with us so I actually have someone to talk to). But then I don’t understand why upon a second viewing, all he can see are the flaws and it make him not only dislike whatever it is, but *feel bad for having liked it in the first place*, with a few exceptions (Star Wars, mostly). I love to tear things to shreds but I also whole-heartedly adore things I will gleefully admit are *terrible*.
See, this is why Deep Blue Sea is one of my favorite films, as it is a movie who understands exactly who and what it is.
I’m pretty light on Star Wars…I think I started watching it too young for the critic to click on. The last time I watched it with the BF, I mostly contained myself to predictive commentary, ala “Tell me, Han, how do you feel about this?”
Deep Blue Sea is a goddamn work of art, and I will fight anyone who tries to tell me otherwise. I watch that scene– you know the one– sometimes when I’m feeling sad, and it helps every time.
that scene is a thing of beauty
So happy to be introduced to the term “living larder” by the link to that other article, I am forever grateful to you Meat Processing Professional.
I get mad about cannibalism stories because they often ignore the concept of rabbit starvation. You got to get some fat in there, people!
let’s be fair, though. Your average American human? Don’t gotta worry about a lack of fat there.
I have to admit, at first I read the end of the first line of your comment as, “I am forever grateful to Meat you”
I kind of wish I’d gone that direction.
Does the writer of this article know that Bong is his family name and Joon-ho is his given name? I’m assuming from The Road article that she prefers to refer to authors by “last” names.
Ah man, I am so sorry, I did not know that. It’s a really dumb thing not to think of on my part, I’ll email tomorrow and see if it can be changed.
Please comment on that thing with the fish. Is it at all reasonable to maintain a suppy of fish simply for the purpose of toxifying weaapons in anticipation of a riot?
Is that why they were cutting up the fish in that scene? I figured it was just for intimidation.
I have not idea why they were doing it for real, but it seems reasonable to me that a weapon that’s been coated in fish guts before someone cuts you with it is probably more likely to give you a wound that turns septic.
I have a friend who’s a fisherman, and he refers to sepsis as “fish poisoning.”
Are they really anticipating like a weeks-long war over this train where sepsis has time to set in, though? Cause it turns out to take them about a day to conquer the whole thing.
Well, do they need to psych themselves up, though? They don’t seem particularly psyched afterwards, they’re all kind of just standing around.
Also, I guess there’s a lot of things going on, right? Historically, it was better to give your enemy’s troops festering wounds than it was to just kill them, because wounded soldiers consume resources without being able to fight. So, potentially the idea is that they’re going to make future riots less likely, because the tailies are going to have to spend too much of their time and energy coping with sepsis to get another riot started.
EXCEPT the tailies are a necessary part of the train’s ecosystem, which means it’d be counter-productive to waste even their resources. ON THE OTHER HAND, maybe the septic guys just end up getting recycled back into food somehow?
Maybe the plan is to wage a second level of psychological warfare among the survivors of the riot as they have to watch their friends slowly succumb to blood poisoning?
I thought it was cruel bragging, like, “We have beautiful fat living fish and we’re just gonna slice them and toss the corpses aside, like we’ll do to you.” Conspicuous consumption.
Actually, since we’re on the subject, HOW are the tailies a necessary part of the train’s ecosystem? Maybe I missed it, but I thought the movie didn’t really explain that. Like, the train and its society existed before they jumped on board, and the upper classes seem to keep everyone who actually works for them up near the front, and they’re not being used for food, so…?
I don’t know, actually. I guess the train only runs if you have a child to put in the death-nook, or whatever was happening there, so maybe they need a small subculture of expendable people so that they’ll always have a child on hand for replacements?
I believe I read somewhere that it was a ritualistic fish-gutting, getting them riled up for battle, rather than adding any sort of extra lethalness? I mean, they seemed plenty proficient with those axes, sans poison.
I’m so so happy to see everyone thinking through actual train ecosystems, I can’t even say.
Frankly, that seems even more wasteful of the fish.
I feel like articles by the Meat Processing Professional should also appear in Dad Magazine. There is a very potent aura of Dad-ness about this.
The Meat Processing Professional definitely has a regular column in Dad Magazine. Which is good, because I want them to review everything.
i loved snowpiercer and i love this article. beauty, indeed.
Well now I have to go see what else is in The Toast’s “Beauty” category, in case they are all this wonderful and necessary
bug butter?
That link isn’t working for me. Did you mean this?
oops, yes. html fail.
I was hoping someone would reference this, but somehow I assumed it would be commenter @bothari.
You’re not the first person to have misjudged what they should expect from a Bothari, if that helps.
I watched this two weeks ago with my best friend (book-ended by viewings of Chris Evans butt gifs).
The insect scene went thusly:
[blank stares]
Me: Why is he so upset? Bugs are excellent and sustainable sources of protein.
Him: Yeah, I don’t see what the problem is. I would eat bugs now if they had them at the grocery store.
I didn’t even consider the layer of him admitting to eating tasty babies later. Thank goodness for in-depth Toast analysis.
This appeals to me deeply. I hate zombies and the grotesque shocking things in post-apocalyptic world situations (the day I learned that ‘body horror’ was a genre was like a whole new world of “OH that is my personal nightmare, that is everything I hate”) but this just brightens my day. For whatever reason, dissecting the plausibility of truly horrifying acts comforts me. I am into calmly discussing all the reasons why it doesn’t make sense.
I frequently do this with zombies, too, especially when my boyfriend wants to talk about the walking dead. How did this spread so fast? I don’t know MUCH about infectious diseases but I once read a buzzfeed article that reassured me that zombie spread would not be that fast or overwhelmingly widespread. And then I go into, okay, fine, if it were that widespread, and fast, and everyone who dies (no matter the cause) becomes a zombie too, then it is completely hopeless situation and I have no interest in rooting for the characters, because, who cares? Everyone is going to die and become a zombie, and all the physical, moral, and emotional struggles were for naught.
The hopelessness/helplessness of zombie movies is the worst (scariest/most painful) thing about them for me, and a HUGE part of the reason why I don’t watch them. Feeling helpless really cuts me deep, and I empathize way too powerfully with movie characters for several hours of that to be worth my while.
Have you seen Zombieland? I used to think I really like the Zombie concept, but then I realized I just liked that movie, because it basically parodies the whole idea of why we like the ideas of zombie wastelands.
I actually haven’t, in large part because of my general discomfort with zombie movies. However, it has been recommended to me several times recently, so I may decide to check it out sometime soon.
I was in a weird place when I read World War Z, and I definitely had to go through a really in-depth process of thinking about how zombies aren’t biologically possible to calm myself down afterward.
I had this for a little while reading World War Z as well, and then suddenly I remembered one of the scenes being like “actually, all dogs can sense The Virus. Israel used it for screening not-zombies from soon-to-be-zombies.” and then I went… are you for really reals telling me that DOGS could tell this the whole time, and yet the virus spreads super easy through all the airports? Where there are *already* people with dogs approaching people to sniff them and no one would particularly be surprised if airport security were to lead that person into a different room and not let them get on planes?
And then that really annoyed me, and that worked to calm me down.
“I am into calmly discussing all the reasons why it doesn’t make sense. ”
Teresa Neilsen Hayden has a lovely essay in Making Book where she reviews the copywriting of American Psycho- “On p20 the perp was incredibly proud of his wooden floor and on this page he’s butchering right on it; copyeditor should have told the author to rewrite one scene or the other.” Like, if you’re gonna do gross-out misogyny, put it together right, young man.
I have to admit that my reaction to the bug-bar disgust was sneering condescension.
‘Really, Scruffy Whiteguy?’ I said ‘Really? What did you THINK they were going to be. Bugs are a practical, renewable source of protein and essential fats, necessary for survival situations. If I was running any kind of apocalypse survival compound, bugs would be a huge part of our diet. The only downside to these big bars is the lack of vitamins.’
I said all this out loud, to an audience consisting of two cats. As they eat bugs all the time, I suspect they agreed with me.
I said to him, “SERIOUSLY, what did you think it would be? It’s either bugs or people! Come the fuck on.”
Then of course later I learned that his disgust at bugs was stupidly misplaced, as discussed elsewhere in this post.
I found silkworm pupae in a can at the Korean grocery store, and I took some home and tried them because I just had to know! They are strangely compelling. Good on rice. Would buy again!
I think of this kind of thing as “apocalypse training.” Eating bugs makes sense!
But Chris Evans beard. *DRAMATICALLY HANDWAVES AWAY ANY POTENTIAL ISSUES*
Chris Evans beard with Crying and Axes, even.
Kinda off topic, but Tilda Swinton was just great in that movie.
Thank you, Meat Processing Professional, for giving me a post to link to when I get mad about Curtis’ reaction to the discovery of bugs in the protein bars. Not only is it an internal logical inconsistency, but as someone from a culture where bugs are occasionally eaten, I found it unrealistic and frustrating.
I’d like to suggest that the Meat Processing Professional ought to watch the 2009 Day Of The Triffids mini-series, and pick over the logic of growing meat-eating plants (and thus, meat to feed them) as an eco-friendly fuel source.
I don't know, actually. I guess the train only runs if you have a child to put in the death-nook, or whatever was happening there, so maybe they need a small subculture of expendable people so that they'll always have a child on hand for replacements?
My headcanon is that Curtis isn’t so much horrified by the fact they’re bugs as much as he is just shocked by the visual of them churning in the flames. Those bugs were not having a good time.