okay
okay i’m ready
let’s do this

ah yes
this is how kissing goes
your whole face in my mouth, that’s what kissing is
now stop squirming so I can absorb your essence

No
no
no
no, that’s quite all right

“No, it’s — I’m pretty sure the table is supposed to stay between us.”

“Don’t look, children. It’s just awful.”

what are you laughing about
nothing
i’m not laughing
well stop it
you’re not laughing right into my mouth
i’m not doing anything
maybe if you weren’t clinging to my back like an octopus squeezing its prey i wouldn’t be laughing into your mouth
you are fucking impossible

I can almost reach the sword

“Really, Jimward? Heterosexuality? In my house?”

oh Christ
they’re mashing their faces again
what do I do

my God
that’s not —
it’s a MUSTACHE
he’s growing that thing on purpose
he’s growing a mustache on purpose right at my mouth

Ah, my lady, to be alone with you at last
be quiet
if you’re very good
I’ll let you carry my hat later

when will death come

but
i was reading

Oh, hells
well
one of us is going to have to go home and change

i just plain don’t like you

[Images via Wikimedia Commons]