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Home: The Toast

Previously: The Comment Section For Every Article Ever Written About Intimate Grooming and Tipping and Recipes and the Third Trimester. Nicole is happy to report that after not being able to breastfeed Kid One, Kid Two is breastfeeding like a champ. LIFE IS A RICH TAPESTRY.

This post is brought to you by Daniel, Ariel, and Celeste [or her shadow double].

Breast is best.

Your issue sounds like a tongue tie, go get it snipped.

Three pediatricians have examined him and said he doesn’t have a tongue tie.

It could be a posterior tongue tie.

It COULD be a lip tie.

It’s obviously a tie of SOME kind. Just start snipping things inside his mouth until the situation improves.

Have you spoken to a lactation consultant?

Yes.

Is she an IBCLC? Because if she’s not an IBCLC, she’s basically a barista.

I think it’s offensive for someone to say breast is best bc I personally did not breastfeed, and anyone who breastfeeds or encourages others to do it is doing it AT me.

Look, I’m a modest person, that’s just me. Not all of us feel comfortable with people knowing we have breasts, not even our own children.

My kids were adopted, so I didn’t breastfeed.

How selfish. Did you not even try to relactate? There are a variety of weird drugs you can order from Canada and it should only take six to eight months of taking those drugs and constantly pumping and using an SNS that leaks all over you in order to produce roughly half an oz of liquid gold a day.

Breastfeeding is great, but don’t whip those things out in public.

I routinely see more tit on teenagers working at the mall then when I try to feed my shrieking baby in order to avoid having people yell at me for having a shrieking baby.

Lol my breasts belong to my HUSBAND thank you very much.

I make my own formula from corn syrup and skim milk to save money.

Formula should be prescription only, it is a MEDICINE, not a food.

If formula were prescription only, more people would be making their own from corn syrup and skim milk

I just get so mad when women don’t TRY to breastfeed. As long as you TRY, it’s okay.

All I ask is that if a woman is feeding her baby formula, she present me with a binder with the contact information of three lactation consultants she worked with and photographs of her latch in progress and a urine sample to demonstrate she is full of fenugreek. Then I won’t be mad.

Anyone can breastfeed if they try hard enough, so I am literally always mad.

Nothing matters! breastfeeding doesn’t matter! i dangle my baby off a bridge so she won’t get spoiled and feed her tuna I run through a blender bc TO HELL WITH HER.

ALSO, if you don’t provide changing tables, I am FORCED to change my baby’s diaper in the booth.

Shut up.

Everyone hates you.

No one agrees with that.

Fix your life.

 

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