talk a lot, pick a little more Toasties, earlier this week I was very excited to bring home a couple of weeks-old baby chicks for chick-sitting, and today I will be very excited to return them both to my daughter’s school, where the children can care for and enjoy them until such time as their true owner, a local farmer, sees fit to retrieve them. Here is what I have learned after just a few days as a chick caregiver:
1. Pecking order is REAL. Especially the pecking.
2. Baby chicks are kind of assholes.
2(a). Like these ones (Exhibits A and B) actually had to be separated from the younger, newly hatched baby chicks, who they were supposed to nurture and help train up in the way baby chicks should go, because all they did was peck at the littler ones and try to block them from the food tray. Seeing how they behave with each other, frankly, it comes as no surprise to me that these two were terrible mentors.
2(b). I might have decided they are unworthy of the temporary names I had so carefully picked out for them (Galadriel and Celeborn), WHICH they do not answer to anyway.
3. Crema is probably my favorite Insta filter for baby chick photography, with Slumber a close second.
4. No matter how carefully you* clean and refill the food container, baby chicks will just heap wood chips in it 2.7 seconds after you return it to them, so why BOTHER, seriously, it is as futile as cooking a fancy dinner for your toddler.
[* your spouse]
5. During the daylight hours, baby chicks never shut up — really, they don’t, even after you remind them they are sharing a house with a cat, and might want to dial back the cheeps a little — but at night they can sleep right through your three-weeks-overdue “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt” marathon as well as the subsequent loud [and incredulous] conversation you have with your partner (“oh my GOD what were they THINKING with Dong’s ‘theme music’? And also the name ‘Dong’?”) (I know you all watched/read thinkpieces/worked through your feelings about this show at least two weeks ago but I still need to talk about it with many more people).
6. To recap, baby chicks: sort of jerks, but more than a little adorable. And their visit, while brief, made one’s children happy.
So what did I like this week? And what do I want you to read (or reread, as the case may be)?
“You are poor now. So very poor. You have left London and can now only afford a large house in the countryside, a rambling garden, and three (yes, only three) servants. Understandably, the degradation of this crushing poverty is very difficult for your dear Mother, but she bears it nobly.” —How To Tell If You Are In An E. Nesbit Novel
WOULD WATCH: The Revenge-Based Sequel to Cast Away That Tom Hanks So Richly Deserves
If John Cho were your boyfriend. If Hayley Atwell or Michelle Obama were your girlfriends. (We are now flooded with submissions for this series, which is fantastic, but selfishly I am pleased and more than a little relieved that no one scooped me on John Cho. HE IS MINE.)
Every Argument About Buffy on the Internet, from 1998 Until Now: A thing of beauty is a joy forever. One day heaven and earth shall pass away, and somehow people will still be leaving impassioned comments on this post.
Substance abuse in the trans community and the need for more (and better) resources
Gal Science: an archaeologist wrote about bone health for us! I read it and immediately had regrets about how little thought I gave to my bone density during the crucial adolescent years.
I Hope You Sing About Me, a new short story by Vanessa Willoughby
THE TOWN: get out, you orphans
THE BAKER: I’ll sell you to just about anyone
BENNY: this old train is asleep
VIOLET: lets live in it, instead of society
HENRY: we won’t like the grandpa man
BENNY: i found this pink trash to eat off of
On anxiety and messed-up families and sisterhood, and never being alone.
“Wanting to change, to thaw, to pursue is brave and admirable. Pick up your shovel, dear reader, and go carefully in.” How I appreciate some on-point poetic advice.
I could go on and on, but I won’t, because I have chicks to return. There was so much great stuff on The Toast this week, your best bet is just to go back and read everything all over again. You won’t be sorry. Hope y’all have a beautiful weekend! See you next week.
