BUSINESSMAN: This seems awfully risky.
TOM CRUISE [looking directly at camera, with no pants]: That’s business for you.
LOUIS: My God! The Dukes are going to corner the entire frozen orange juice market!
OPHELIA: Unless somebody stops them…
COLEMAN: …or beats them to it.
BUSINESSMAN: You ever try high-frequency trading?
TOM CRUISE: I don’t know…Isn’t that basically front-running?
BUSINESSMAN: Kid, I’m telling you, it’s like nothing you’ve ever traded before. The Sharpe reward-to-risk ratio is absolutely off the charts. That’s why we call it…[removes pants and looks directly at camera] the Risky Business.
The final bell rings, signaling the end of trading for the day. Slowly, the pack of disappointed financiers shuffle off the floor.
TOM CRUISE [taking to the air, with no pants on]: And that’s why they call me…The Wolf of Wall Street.
He slowly changes into Teen Wolf, dunks on the middle of the securities floor, and flies away. It turns out he was also Teen Wolf the whole time, so the whole “Wolf of Wall Street” thing had two meanings. And the “risky business” he was running was being a wolf and also trying to own a business, I guess. And he couldn’t wear pants because turning into a wolf always tore through his pants.
And that’s Risky Business.
