Skip to the article, or search this site

Home: The Toast

MADELEINE L’ENGLE: hey remember that book about ecumenical Episcopalianism and quantum physics and resisting conformity you loved so much

READERS: yeah

MADELEINE L’ENGLE: how about a sequel featuring your favorite character’s sexy twin brothers going back in time and learning about boners and childbirth before God drowns everybody

READERS: uhhh

MADELEINE L’ENGLE: here you go


SANDY: remember how Mom put time travel in her computer
let’s mess with it

DENNYS: oh no it’s bible times now
no one can spell my name and everyone is interested in the sexual implications of twinship

NOAH: hi I’m Noah
don’t fuck anyone here or you won’t be able to touch unicorns

YALITH: women don’t wear shirts here

SANDY: I would like to touch the breasts of Yalith

DENNYS: I also would like to do this thing

YALITH: I literally cannot distinguish between the two of you as separate people

EBLIS: we’re sex angels

ADNAREL: we’re angels too but we don’t have sex with anyone
also when the women have sex with the sex angels their angel babies are so big that they die in childbirth
so
watch out

TIGLAH: I have sex with angels
I would like to have sex with twins

SANDY: go on

DENNYS: no
don’t

TIGLAH: I also have red hair
(because of whoreishness)

DENNYS: in our world, angels don’t have sex with any of us

YALITH: my breasts are like apricots

SANDY: your breasts are like apricotsmany waters2

EVERYONE: Yalith’s breasts are like apricots

NOAH: also there are teeny tiny wooly mammoths in this desert for some reason
and God will drown everyone for having sex with angels

SANDY: let’s leave before everyone drowns

DENNYS: we’ve grown to love them but it’s drowning time

AARIEL: you must return to your own time

DENNYS: what about Yalith

AARIEL: don’t worry
i’m taking her to heaven for sex

DENNYS: i thought you were the angels who didn’t have sex

AARIEL: it is time for you to go now

$
Select Payment Method

Loading ...

Personal Info

Donation Total: $1.00

Add a comment

Skip to the top of the page, search this site, or read the article again

(Close this.)