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Home: The Toast

i painted you something
you did?
oh good
I’m glad to hear that you have been keeping busy
do you want to see it
oh
I
what’s the painting of?
just a regular bird
oh okay
I’d like to see that

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what do you think
pretty regular huh

oh it’s
see the owl is me
and the egg-beast sprouting nude arms and legs and cherries and genitals, that’s you
so it’s a painting of a bird but it’s also a painting of our friendship

mmm
where do you want me to hang it
mmm
good idea
i’ll surprise you

 

i made another painting
what’s this one called
“Cutting the Stone”
oh
okay that sounds –
here it is

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the stone is inside of his skull and driving him mad
so they have to cut it out of his brain

i see
why is the woman wearing a book on her head, though
well it was either put the book there or give it scissor-feet and show it eating pig-babies in the background
oh
do you think i should have given it scissor-feet?
i’ll repaint it

no
no i think the book looks great where it is
really?
very normal place for a book

 

what do you think heaven looks like
oh
i don’t know
peaceful, and green, and –
do you think dozens of terrified nudes have to flee inside of an egg to escape the fanged mermaids
i
i’d have to check with a theologian
but i don’t think so

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i bet in heaven sometimes people are crushed by a great strawberry
do you think that’s something that happens a lot?
in heaven?
im pretty sure

 

remember the temptation of st. anthony
sure
what do you think he was tempted by
i feel like you’re not really asking because you want to know what i think
what
i feel like maybe you already have a really specific idea in your head
and you’re just going to wait for me to suggest something and then you’ll yell out the very specific thing you think it was instead
no no i would never do that
i really want your opinion for this painting

okay
well
i think maybe worldly riches
ok
what else

maybe women
and????
i think that’s it
i think those are the only two t–
WHAT ABOUT FISH SOLDIERS

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I THINK MAYBE FISH DRESSED UP LIKE SOLDIERS WERE A BIG PROBLEM FOR ST. ANTHONY

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