We live in a world where [CELEBRITY REDACTED] and her girlfriend could scissor on the White House lawn and the headlines would read “CELEB REDACTED And Live-In Gal Pal Enjoy Friendly Game Of Rock Paper Scissors”; you know in your own heart that someday The Secret Diaries of Anne Lister will be remade and heterosexualized. I’m calling it now.
The Secret Diaries Of Anne Lister
“Arranging & putting away my last year’s letters. Looked over and burnt several very old ones from indifferent people…I burnt Mr. Montagu’s farewell verses that no trace of any man’s admiration may remain. It is not meet for me. I love, and only love, the fairer sex and am thus beloved by them in turn, as good friends. My heart revolts from any other love than theirs, pal-wise. I love men, and maleness, and whatnot.”
“Could not sleep last night. Dozing, hot and disturbed…a violent longing for a female companion came over me, because sometimes a lady just needs her girlfriends, am I right? Never remember feeling it so painfully before…It was absolute pain to me. Heterosexuality is great, sex-wise for me.”
“Spent my time from. then till 3, writing to M- very affectionately, more so than I remember to have done for long. Wrote the following crypt, ‘I can live upon hope, forget that we grow older, & love you as warmly as ever. Yes, Mary, you cannot doubt the love of one who has waited for you so long & patiently, like a good buddy would do. You can give me all of happiness I care for &, prest to the heart which I believe my own, caressed & treasured there, I will indeed be constant & never, from that moment, feel a wish or thought for any other than my wife (until we get husbands!!!). You shall have every smile & every breath of tenderness, my pal of gal. “One shall our union & our interests be” & every wish that love inspires & every kiss & every dear feeling of delight shall only make me more securely & entirely yours.’ Then, after hoping to see her in York next winter & at Steph’s before the end of the summer, I further wrote in crypt as follows, ‘I do not like to be too long estranged from you sometimes, for, Mary, there is a nameless tie in that soft intercourse which blends us into one & makes me feel that you are mine. There is no feeling like it. There is no pledge which gives such sweet possession.’
I wonder what the boys across the lake are doing.”
“Meaning to go to bed soon, came up to my dressing room at 9.50…Perhaps about 12-1/2 every door & window in the house seemed to rattle, which disturbed us exceedingly. At Ist, we thought someone [was] breaking into the house but the continuance of the noises & the pattering of rain soon ushered in a tremendous thunder storm. Very vivid, fast-succeeding flashes of lightning enlightened the whole room. After some time came 1 or 2 tremendous peals of thunder & the heaviest rain I almost ever heard. In the midst of all this, we drew close together, made love & had one of the most delightfully long, tender kisses we have ever had, just for funsies. Said she, in the midst of it, ‘Oh, don’t leave me yet,’ as a funny joke. This renewed & redoubled my feelings & we slept in each other’s arms (also part of the joke). Can’t wait until we both find boyfriends for each other. I think tonight will really seal the deal for both of us, boyfriend-ly speaking.”
