Owls love nothing more than straddling the line between CUTELY WISE and “terrifying skymouths,” so you’ve gotta watch ’em at pretty much all of the time. You ever seen an owl in a painting, my friends? Let me offer you one piece of certainty in this life: no matter how messed up a painting is, if it’s got an owl in it, the owl will be the most messed-up part, no matter how many drowned heads and egg-violins Brueghel the Elder tried to cram in there. Don’t believe me? Well, believe me, instead of doing that.
THAT OWL IS TOO BIG
BUT QUIETLY TOO BIG, YOU KNOW? LIKE IT SPENT THE LAST FORTY MINUTES WHILE THAT GUY WASN’T PAYING ATTENTION JUST GETTING A LITTLE BIGGER EVERY MINUTE AS LONG AS THAT GUY DIDN’T NOTICE
WHAT BUSINESS DO YOU HAVE BEING THAT SIZE, OWL? ARE YOU GOING TO CLUTCH A BIG RUBY IN YOUR TALONS? GO BACK TO BIRD SIZE
this owl has murdered every other living being in this picture
why is THE OWL REMAINS such a popular theme in art?? THE OWL REMAIIINS
100% guarantee that these two owls are the only living beings pictured here because all other life on earth has been scythed away
THE OWLS ABIDE
If you look at this painting, and then look away, the man becomes an owl
ma’am do not let that owl touch you, something INCREDIBLY SINISTER and yet hardly detectable will happen to you!
IT BEGINS
[Images via]
Mallory is an Editor of The Toast.