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Home: The Toast

Originally.

PEOPLE OF ATHENS: at last our city is complete

CECROPS: my people
now we must decide which of the gods we will offer our worship to
who among the deities of Olympus will we select to watch over us
shall it be Poseidon? Lord of the sea, creator of the horse, to protect our warships and supply us with battle stallions?
or shall it be Athena, goddess of wisdom and justice?

PRIESTS OF POSEIDON: LET IT BE POSEIDON

PRIESTS OF ATHENA: ATHENA, ATHENA, ATHENA

ATHENA: People of Greece
we are here

POSEIDON: we have heard your questions and are come from Olympus itself to help you decide

ATHENA: We shall each offer the city a gift
and whosoever’s gift you accept, shall become patron and protector of your city

CECROPS: You are both wise and generous, my lords

POSEIDON: I shall go first
Here, I strike the ground with my mighty trident
See the water gush forth

PEOPLE OF ATHENS: A spring!

POSEIDON: I give you SALTY WATER

PEOPLE OF ATHENS: Oh it’s
it’s salty

POSEIDON: well yes
I am Lord of the Sea

PEOPLE OF ATHENS: what are we supposed to do with this
it’s salty water

POSEIDON: I – well
yes
is that a problem

CECROPS: well
we appreciate the gesture
it’s just
we can’t really do much with a salt spring, can we

POSEIDON: it’s
well, I did make it out of nothing

CECROPS: no, I know
it’s just we can’t drink it

POSEIDON: oh, can’t you?

CECROPS: no we drink regular water
so although I don’t want to seem ungrateful
we actually probably could do more with the nothing that was here a minute ago
then a big mess of salty water here in the middle of town

POSEIDON: I just thought
you know, salt water is my favorite thing
and I thought I would share it with –

PEOPLE OF ATHENS: LET US SEE THE GIFT OF ATHENA

ATHENA: My gift is over there
the olive tree

PEOPLE OF ATHENS: ooh

CECROPS: ooh

POSEIDON: well what can you do with it

ATHENA: it grows olives, which you can eat
you can press the olives into oil, which you can use for cooking and storing and to make soap and to light lamps and also –

POSEIDON: well I bet you can’t fill the OCEAN with it

PEOPLE OF ATHENS: HAIL ATHENA
HAIL THE GODDESS OF ATHENS

POSEIDON: I thought it was a good idea
a good salty idea
I’m just going to drown everyone

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