“Oh, but Mallory, aren’t you being sort of deliberately obtuse, calling out a bunch of thirteenth-century illuminating monk dudes for drawing goofy-looking deer, knowing as we do that medieval art was only semi-representational and more concerned with iconography than naturalism?” No. I am not. “Okay, but are you willing to concede that maybe there are more kinds of deer than the, like, one American kind you have only ever seen?” I am unwilling. Let us proceed in mocking of the artistic attempts of the centuries-dead.
how many antlers do deer have, should I bother looking out the window to check mmmmmmmm
better just fill in the head until there’s no room left because of the GLOBE OF SPIKES I feel pretty certain most deer are sporting
Deer: they wear their hair in a jheri curl and also have two large artichoke stalks sprouting up directly from their brainpan, deer facts
Antlers aren’t wavy though????
“I bet a deer could hold its head up if it were carrying antlers the exact same actual length as its body, probably, due to deer spinal columns being composed primarily of GRANITE and STICK-TO-ITIVENESS”
Antlers are also not LEAVES
That is a JOE CAMEL FACE on a MADE-UP BODY with a VENUS FLYTRAP on its forehead
“how long are deer necks, roughly the same length as deer bodies, right? with a ribbon for support, fantastic”
Antlers: Two Crooked Drinking Goblets?? – The Middle Ages’ actual best guess
Mallory is an Editor of The Toast.