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“Oh, but Mallory, aren’t you being sort of deliberately obtuse, calling out a bunch of thirteenth-century illuminating monk dudes for drawing goofy-looking deer, knowing as we do that medieval art was only semi-representational and more concerned with iconography than naturalism?” No. I am not. “Okay, but are you willing to concede that maybe there are more kinds of deer than the, like, one American kind you have only ever seen?” I am unwilling. Let us proceed in mocking of the artistic attempts of the centuries-dead.

deer2

how many antlers do deer have, should I bother looking out the window to check mmmmmmmm
better just fill in the head until there’s no room left because of the GLOBE OF SPIKES I feel pretty certain most deer are sporting

deer9

Deer: they wear their hair in a jheri curl and also have two large artichoke stalks sprouting up directly from their brainpan, deer facts

deer8

Antlers aren’t wavy though????

deer

“I bet a deer could hold its head up if it were carrying antlers the exact same actual length as its body, probably, due to deer spinal columns being composed primarily of GRANITE and STICK-TO-ITIVENESS”

deer7

NOPE

Medieval animas: Leopard and deer, camel.Scan of 2 d image in the public domain believed to be free to use without restriction in the US.

Antlers are also not LEAVES

deer5

That is a JOE CAMEL FACE on a MADE-UP BODY with a VENUS FLYTRAP on its forehead

deer4

“how long are deer necks, roughly the same length as deer bodies, right? with a ribbon for support, fantastic”

deer3

Antlers: Two Crooked Drinking Goblets?? – The Middle Ages’ actual best guess

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