Wine Brands: Real or Fake? -The Toast

Skip to the article, or search this site

Home: The Toast

tumblr_l2ym2t7gVu1qc073co1_4001. Perfect Angle Torrontes Live life through the perfect filter with this fresh and fruity Torrontes. Aromas of guava and tropical flowers will transport you to a magical place where the light is golden, your hair always looks amazing, and every side is your good side. Go ahead, snap a selfie – you look great.

2. Birthday Cake Vineyards Cake Batter White Wine (Specialty Grape Wine with Natural and Artificial Flavors Added) With the flavors of decadent cake batter, Birthday Cake Vineyards flavored wine is a true gift to your senses. Whether at a party, at home or at the beach, Birthday Cake Batter could be the most delicious wine you have ever tasted!

3. Nice Guy Red Blend We’ve taken the most unlikely of grapes, and put them together in this full-bodied red blend that’s always there when you need it. And sometimes when you don’t. You wouldn’t think Malbec, Tempranillo, Pinot Noir, Tannat, Nebbiolo, Petit Sirah, Zinfandel, and Charbono would go together, but one sip, and we know you’ll agree they’re meant for each other. Kind of like us.

4. Low Hanging Fruit Keep it simple, go after the Low Hanging Fruit. The obvious choice.

5. Trim Cabernet TRIM is a well-crafted Cabernet Sauvignon sourced from outstanding vineyards in California. Our winemaking team works with some of the best vineyards to produce a lush, well balanced, and fruit forward Cabernet Sauvignon. This is the best valued wine on the market. Sophisticated Flavor, Sensible Value

6. Barely Legal Moscato We took our fruity and frothy signature Moscato, and added fresh mango puree for an even more fun twist. And speaking of twists, we’ve added a hot pink twisty straw to every half-bottle so your pout will stay on-point. Barely Legal: for the young at heart.

7. Easy Virtue Viognier She smells of peaches and jasmine, warm summer nights and mystery. It’s so easy to talk to her, and yet the more she talks, the less you know about her. Ponder what’s under the surface with this smooth, lush Viognier.

8. Surfer Chick Sauvignon Blanc Want to know what it’s like when everyday’s a day at the beach? Just ask a Surfer Chick. Her highlights are real.  Her legs are tan. She smells like coconuts. She can balance a surfboard on a beach cruiser and swim with the dolphins. She wears a wet suit, not a business suit. She’ll stay up late and get up early for dawn patrol the next morning. She likes seafood, sunsets, SPF and Sauvignon Blanc. Not necessarily in that order. She’s more than a sister. She’s a state of mind.

9. Flirt California Red Wine cheat on your wine, your other wine will never know.  You’ve been with your current wine for some time now. And things are fine. But maybe fine isn’t good enough. Maybe you’re bored. Maybe your eyes are starting to wander. And here we are. And here you are. And we’re not going to say anything…

10. Handsome Devil Red: Forbidden fruit always tastes sweeter. Tempted by rich, sinful wines? Then it’s time you met this Handsome Devil from California. Our Winemaker’s Blend is tempting indeed. Alluring fresh raspberry and vanilla aromas lead to juicy cherry and berry jam flavors with whispers of spice and vanilla. This luscious wine is lively on your palate, with silky-smooth tannins and a lingering finish.

11. Single and Loving it Rosé You’re out on your porch watching the sun set with a big, cool glass of this refreshing rose of Grenache and Mourvedre with your best girlfriends, without a care in the world.  You still get to enjoy ‘me’ time whenever you want!  Your whole life is ‘me’ time!  Go ahead and throw in an ice cube, no one’s watching!

12. Sequin Rosé captures the life of the party – light on its feet, yet dreamy and fresh. Delicate bubbles and shimmering flavors of lush strawberry, exotic lychee and lively citrus make this enchanting wine always worthy of a toast. Serve chilled and dazzle the senses. Opt for pure and simple with a chilled glass, or get creative with a signature wine cocktail. Pair with soft goat cheese, grilled prawns with mango salsa or seafood paella. 

13. Bake Shop Chardonnay With tempting aromas of toasty oak and vanilla and a rich, buttery mouthfeel, our signature Chardonnay feels more indulgent than a whole bakery’s worth of cronuts.  Pull out your biggest glass and feel your worries melt away. Who’s counting calories, anyway?  

14. Lone Sandle Pinot Grigio You’ve always wanted a cottage by the sea, and now you’ve finally got one. Break out that watercolor set, throw on some oversized linen pants, and start living your dream. Lone Sandle is crisp, refreshing, and the perfect accompaniment to your second act.

*

1. fake, 2. real, 3. fake, 4. real, 5. real, 6. fake, 7. fake, 8. real, 9. real, 10. real, 11. fake, 12. real, 13. fake, 14. fake

 

Diane McMartin is a Certified Sommelier through the Court of Master Sommeliers. She works as a retail consultant in the Washington, DC area, where she spends most of her time spitting terrible Chardonnay into metal buckets and teaching wine classes. She is currently at work on a book, inspired by her columns for The Hairpin, to be published in spring of 2016 by Workman Publishing.

Add a comment

Skip to the top of the page, search this site, or read the article again