Facebook RSVP Options Need To Reflect All My Thoughts About Socializing -The Toast

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party-flyers-close-up-686x373Recently I noticed Facebook changed one of its event RSVP options from “Not going” to “Can’t go.” The former is acceptably vague and provokes no questioning as to the why of the no. The latter suggests that you would if you could, and that is utter horseshit. But if they’re going to make that suggestion for us, I’d rather they go all out, so here are my ideas.

 

Going

Maybe

Can’t go

Won’t go

Why would you think I’d enjoy this?

What in our decade of friendship would suggest that I’d like to be part of an EDM flashmob?

I’m free all week but this sounds awful.

I don’t even know what “Steampunk Monopoly Night” means.

You haven’t said if there will be food.

I would go if this started at 7pm and not 10pm.

Are we talking raw-vegetables-and-dip food or actual food?

Will go only if you can guarantee he won’t be there.

Why does this group have like four events per week?

You’re going to judge me if I don’t come, aren’t you?

I DON’T EVEN LIVE IN THIS CITY.

YOU DON’T EVEN LIVE IN THIS CITY.

I’m saying yes only to see who posts here but really I’ll text you an hour before saying I can’t make it.

I’m saying yes only to see who posts here but I’m not coming and I’m not going to text you, either.

I’m not responding but really I’ll text you an hour before saying I’m coming and is it cool if I bring six friends to your apartment?

:-|

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