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Home: The Toast

Top keywords for this week’s Buttered offerings: ‘Artisanal,’ ’Rich and creamy,’ ‘Hand-churned by our sleek, muscle-bound writers.’

What you missed or need to read again:

Roxane reveals the secret feminist heart of that so-terrible-it’s-awesome Gina Carano flick, In the Blood. Like a motherfucker.

Maria Pinto’s haunting story about cutting, a homeless woman, and a rainy bus stop that will not leave you alone for days after you read it. “Danni could cut herself on the woman’s edges if she pushed down hard enough. Instead she’ll push down softly.”

A brand new literary cagefight pits manic pixie dream girl Margo from John Green’s Paper Towns against Sidney from Sarah Dessen’s Saint Anything. There will be blood.

Aubrey Hirsch reveals the dirty secret of motherhood: her sons deserve everything and feminism can suck it.

Bear helps you figure out if you want to have kids or not and doesn’t even bring up the two most important films on the subject: The Bad Seed and The Omen.

Kate Angus gives us a history of that hungry indigenous Canadian horror, the wendigo. “Sometimes the wendigo leaves drops of blood in its wake—not from victims, but from its own lips and fingers which it gnaws tattered trying to assuage its hunger. The only constant descriptive is this: when the wendigo eats, it grows in proportion to what it has consumed so that it remains simultaneously starving and insatiable.”

Katrina Smith’s A Girl’s Guide to Gaming has essential tips on how to game without damaging those fragile, sensitive boy gamers or unleashing a swarm of shrieking fedoras.

If you were wondering, dudes of the internet, this is why she didn’t write back. Diana Spechler lays it down.

Jennifer Pashley is ON FIRE. Like, the 5 alarm kind. Barrett Bowlin throws some gasoline on it. 

Megan Stielstra lays it all out in a story that’s all sexual history, rock ’n roll, and even love because some girls don’t want to be a girlfriend or fall in love, until they do. “It was over pretty quick after that, but I still have the vibrator. It’s really, really fancy.”

Justina Elias gives us an unflinching look at ‘ugly’ and body image through the eyes of an expert: a teenage babysitter. “BE HONEST, Mel writes. (“No pussyfooting around,” her mother’s voice says in her head, but she knows the guys would razz her for writing “pussy.”) I WANT UR OBJECTIVE OPINION. 1 TO 10.”

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