Recent studies suggest the water in California, there’s plenty of it, and you shouldn’t worry so much. Where’s all the water? Just look at it. There’s some right here, and also just behind you, from before, when you turned around and you weren’t looking, but it was there. The water’s plenty of it.
You were so worried about the drought, and that helped, so now the drought, it’s not anymore. Everyone worried enough, and things are fine now, for droughts. Thanks and good job. So don’t worry now, anymore. The worrying filled the reservoirs, and they’re all full of water. You don’t need to go look at them, it’s all okay. If you don’t ask questions, it rains, and that’s good. Where does the rain come from? Mm. Yes, they sure do.
We checked. The water’s there, the water’s good. All the studies showed it, so. Scientists too. Everyone got together, about last weekend, and we checked it, and the drought’s over. You can’t ask the scientists about it, because they’re all taking long showers now, but they told me to tell you the drought’s gone. The fires are gone too. Just went away, no big deal.
You don’t have to check on anything. Just put something wet on your lawn, wash some dishes, relax. Nothing’s on fire anymore, and we’re not worried, and the ocean’s good too. All the dying is over, and things are just back to living and having rain, and full lakes. What are the lakes full of? Yep, don’t worry about it! Not full of worrying, that’s for sure.
The drought, it went away, and it won’t bother us again, and almonds are fine. The future is where we keep good things, because it’s where good things will happen to us, just like they are now. There’s water there, and safety too, also. All the scientists checked, and here’s the water. It’s in your faucet, in the river, everywhere that’s good.
The trees are good, and the soil is good, so the animals are good too, and so are we, it’s all good and it’s all connected and there’s water all over it, so that’s good and you can thank water and science for it. Science found the water. It’s right over there! You can go see it for yourself, if you want to. Congratulations on all the good things, and the water, and the lawns and whatnot. You don’t have to cut back on anything, and nothing’s dying. Good, good, good.
[Image via – I COULDN’T RESIST – “Uncle Sam’s Misguided Children“]
Mallory is an Editor of The Toast.