Previously: Every Scottish Novel Ever.

1. The Red, Red Dirt Understands

2. There’s A Sense Of Malaise And Decay Hovering Over This Old Plantation; I Can’t Imagine What Lies In The Not-So-Distant Past That Caused It

3. The Waitress Served Biscuits In A Manner Both Polite Yet Somehow Unwelcoming

4. We Don’t Speak Of What Happened To The Girl

5. Why, This House Represents The Last Vestige Of A Grandeur This Town Could Never Hope To Regain, And We Wouldn’t Sell It For The World

6. The Preacher-Man Leered

7. Best Not To Ask Too Many Questions About The Smell Coming From The Old Widder-Woman’s House On Yon Hill

8. No One Listens To What Old Pap’s Got To Say, On Account Of This Deformity, But I Say It’s You All What Has The Deformity, In Your Souls, I Knows What I’ve Seen

9. They Always Did Think Too Highly Of Themselves

10. We Bury Our Feelings And Our Relatives Alive

11. It’s Too Hot For Justice Today

12. I Drink Because This House Is Filthy And All The Servants Have Fled

13. Someone Is Going To Have To Shoot The Dog Before It Reaches The Courthouse

14. Vines Cover The Mansion Much As The Inescapable Past Covers My Ruined Life

15. Race Isn’t An Issue In This Town Because We Never Discuss It

16. The Outsider Wore Shoes And A Smug Expression

17. Horror In The Church

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