This isn’t the State, obviously. Matter of fact, I’ve had a devil of a time finding State clips online at all, and am going to have to find a new title for “Mallory finds comedy clips, generally from white male citizens of the British Commonwealth Mondays” soon enough.

“Well, we had it tough. We ‘ad to get up out of the shoebox at twelve o’clock at night, and lick the road clean. We’d have half a handful of freezing-cold gravel, work twenty-four hours a day at the mill for fourpence every six years, and when we got home, our Dad would slice us in two with a bread knife.”

Please consider the following, as you watch:

1. TINY BABY MARTY FELDMAN

2. those VARYINGLY SUCCESSFUL ACCENTS

3. how difficult it is to relate to this concept for those of us who spend a lot of time online, as none of us have ever been guilty of this [stares dead into camera]