Chapter Titles From My Upcoming Falsified Memoir -The Toast

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Home: The Toast

tree-562244_12801. My Terrible Childhood Bracketed With Epigrams

2. Everyone Was Murdered But Me (And It Was Awful)

3. Finding Love At Buchenwald

4. Oh, The Drugs I Did

5. Oh, The Drugs My Murderers Did During My Terrible Childhood

6. I Was At The Holocaust For All Of It

7. I Came Of Age Recklessly And Full-Throatedly, Like A California Cabernet Or A Rabid Dog

8. Hate-Fucking And Unnecessary Ellipses

9. Personally, I Relate To The Dregs Of Society And Do Not Fit In At This Country Club, Which Symbolizes My Father

10. Apparently I Am Drinking Too Much

11. Showering With Timothy Leary

12. Why Should I Use Capital Letters Or Apostrophes When My Family Home Has Been Stolen From Me By Wolves

13. Have You Ever Noticed That Sex And Violence Are Connected And That I Once Ate A Hundred Knives

14. At Last, I Have Remembered The LSD Incest Satanic Cult That Raised Me

15. Unverifiable Sketches Of Life In South Central Los Angeles

16. A Neat And Sudden Tying Up Of Narrative Loose Ends

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