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Home: The Toast

To say that God has left this place

Is to imply that he was once here

At this team-building

Improv workshop

 

What is the best Chrome plugin

For

Dismantling the

Patriarchy?

 

I went to a networking function

How successful I was!

How easy it is to speak to

And sneak shrimp into

The pocket of a businessman

 

Being somewhat of an expert on

Fascists

When you call every supervisor one, Megan,

It gets, how you say,

Diluted

 

An inclination to throw paint at a

Municipal building

But

The shade is such a nice salmon

So

Nothing

 

Megan

Please do not mistake me, for we support your

Post

Third

Wave

Feminist

Agenda

But “Halt and Catch Fire” has had an improved second season

We must discuss first

 

The PowerPoint is On

The Audio is Peaked

An Embedded Video Plays

The Cursor remains in the

Middle of the Slide

Your Spirit shucks its Ragged Meat Casing

 

No Twitter at work, you say?

It would be a shame if someone used

An

Incognito

Window.

 

RAGE

RAGE

RAGE

AU BON PAIN

RAGE

 

How can you report me to

Human Resources

When we are all Human Resources

For the SYSTEM

Now, if you’ll allow me to

FINISH

Upper-deckering this

TOILET

 

A standing desk

Lofted

Perfect for beating a hasty retreat

Upon the eve of uprising

Also it’s, like, two inches higher than Megan’s standing desk

She’s so mad

So

So

Mad

 

Sexual harassment training

I gaze at your lips

Your prescient lips

Ever moving

And I pretend

That you are mouthing the words to

“You Can Call Me Al”

By Paul Simon

Remember?

Paul Simon

Simon

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Paul Simon!

 

Welcome to the Alan Moore book club.

The man bun is not

Required

But it is

Encouraged.

 

I received a 2.5% increase in my compensation!

A proper reward

For 365 days

Without

Desk Screaming

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Liz Anderson is a Chicago-based writer, performer, and comedian. She is currently the writer and director of "The One-Woman No-Show," originally produced at The Annoyance Theater and Bar, and performs regularly with Chicago Improv Productions and ComedySportz Chicago. She is also a 6AM DJ on Saturday mornings with on CHIRP Radio (107.1 WCHI), so if you're up early enough to catch her show, she's already sorry.

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