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Home: The Toast

ive completed my latest work
oh, have you?
where will you present it?
i’m going to hang it in my kitchen
so everyone who comes to the house for a meal can see it while they eat

how innovative
what is the subject?
well
a father and son are sharing a meal together
which is why i thought the kitchen would be a good place to put it

of course
and the father? who is he? is it a pastoral painting, biblical, heroic…?
well
the father is eating
and also the son is there too

you’re taking an awfully long time to describe something that should be fairly simple
I’m getting concerned that there’s a horrifying twist to this
what horrifying twist
this is just my kitchen painting
for people to look at while they eat things

no it’s always
you say something that sounds normal
and then I ask you for more details
and then it becomes clear that it’s actually full of horrors
so what is it
what is it, are they eating a meal in a, in a giant bird skeleton
or wearing hats of alcoholism and pus
no
no he’s just eating in front of a black background
i had no idea you felt this way
here look

goya2

oh christ in hell
oooh
what a good idea for a painting

 

all right i thought about your criticism
and i thought to myself
what’s normal
and then i thought, sleeping

okay
and you know how when you fall asleep
horrible bat-winged things and unblinking owls and hateful massive nightcats emerge from the shadowy darkness and surround you

mm there it is

goya1

 

I CALL THIS ONE OLD MEN EATING SOUP
mmm again that is STRICTLY true
but why do they have to be HORRIFYING old men eating WRETCHED AND LOATHSOME soup?
horrifying men eat soup too
horror soup
it slithers into their craws and coalesces below

goya5

 

how lonely do you think a dog could get
what?
i mean how much loneliness do you think one dog could experience
if it lost everything
and was very very alone

i don’t know
i don’t spend a lot of time thinking about lonely dogs
well what if you did
i don’t WANT to think about lonely dogs
i painted you something
is it of a
it’s a lonely dog
he’s alone and he’ll always be alone but he doesn’t know that so he keeps looking for someone but there’s no one to find

mm
i call it The Loneliest Dog
it’s already in your bedroom so you don’t even have to carry it home

goya3

 

could you just maybe do one painting of people smiling or laughing or having a nice time together
for old times’ sake
all right
how’s this one
i call it “Women Laughing”

goya4

what is wrong with their eyes???
is that not what laughing looks like
that’s not what anything looks like

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