“SIRA DON’T GO BACK TO THE TYPEWRITER SHOP THAT MAN WAS TOO HANDSOME”

“SIRA DON’T TALK TO THAT MAN HE HAS BRISTLY EYEBROWS AND A DAMN BEAUTIFUL FACE, HE IS TOO HANDSOME TO KNOW WHAT KINDNESS IS”

“SIRA I AM A FEMINIST IN THIS TIME PERIOD BUT IT IS THE 1930S AND YOU NEED TO BE PRACTICAL, YOU SHOULD NEVER THROW AWAY A MAN WITH A GOVERNMENT JOB FOR A GUY WHO SELLS TYPEWRITERS AND HITS ON ENGAGED WOMEN”

“HOW DOES A TYPEWRITER SALESMAN AFFORD MOET & CHANDON, SIRA? ASK QUESTIONS, THIS DUDE IS NOT GOOD FOR YOU”

“NEVER TAKE A CHANCE ON LOVE AND NEVER SHOW YOUR MONEY TO ANYONE YOU’RE HAVING SEX WITH, SIRA”

“Wait, this is the 1930s and Morocco is like, I mean, I know it’s a reasonably tolerant place but it’s still a Muslim country, how is there a threesome between two men and a woman going on on the beach? Like, that shit wouldn’t fly in America now, this is clearly public space??? Is this, like, an alternative history where being gay was fine eighty years ago but we still got Hitler?”

“IF YOU TELL YOUR MAN THAT YOU’RE NOT FEELING WELL AND ASK TO LEAVE A DINNER PARTY EARLY AND HE SAYS ‘BUT I JUST ORDERED A BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE’ THEN *liz lemon voice* THAT IS A DEALBREAKER, SIRA”

“WHY ARE YOU IDIOTS JUST CARRYING AROUND HER ENTIRE INHERITANCE IN CASH?”

“you’re pregnant, YOU’RE PREGNANT, YOUR STOMACHACHE IS PREGNANCY”

“don’t trust hiiiiiiiiim, oh my God I’m only two episodes in and I don’t trust anyone and I’m full of opinions, HE SPEAKS GERMAN OF COURSE HE IS BAD FOR YOU”

“HEY, REMEMBER IGNACIO, HE WAS GREAT, REMEMBER HOW HE NEVER TOOK ALL YOUR MONEY AND CHEATED ON YOU AND TRIED TO EXPLAIN *VACUUM CLEANERS* TO YOU LIKE YOU’D NEVER HEARD OF THEM, YOU SHOULD CALL HIM”

“oh my God she’s not even a SPY yet”

“YEAH OBVIOUSLY RAMIRO LEFT YOU and OBVIOUSLY HE TOOK YOUR MONEY WITH HIM BECAUSE YOU ARE THE WORLD’S BIGGEST CHUMP BUT I HAVE FAITH THAT YOU ARE GONNA TURN IT AROUND”

“NOW THAT RAMIRO IS GONE IT IS TIME FOR YOU TO STRAP GUNS TO YOUR BODY AND BECOME A SPYYYYY”

“STOP CRYING AND START SPYING”