I saw Spectre. It was great, IDGAF. I wish it had been four hours longer. I have never seen a Bond movie I didn’t like, even the TERRIBLE (several) and PROBLEMATIC (all) ones. Daniel Craig can get it. His suits can get it. Madeleine Swann’s high-waisted white-linen pants and perfectly wrinkle-free satin dress in the DESERT can get it. Moneypenny got her own, and good for her. Monica Bellucci was not in the movie long enough, but her house and booze cabinet and in-ground pool with A+++ soft lighting was DOPE as SHIT. But, mostly, Daniel Craig is so so so so so so so sexy. He has so many weird extra bones in his face, which sounds AWFUL, but it works. Picture him humming Enya directly into your junk, or whatever it is you want him to do to you (if that’s “try on blazers together,” follow your bliss.)
(I need to have a celebrity sexual obsession at all times, and I eventually had to give up Benedict because of his face and body and that Zoolander 2 trailer, so I decided to revert to Daniel for a time.)
Okay! Back to links.
As you can imagine, The Bible In NYC Blog Voice was balm to my ears:
In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. This was probably a very bad idea!
The earth was formless and empty, and darkness was hovering over the surface of the deep, which, ugh. And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light?? Also! God saw that the light was good, and he separated the light from the darkness.
God called the light “day,” and the darkness he called “a Big Steaming Garbage Pit of Despair.” And there was evening, and there was morning — the first day.
And God said, “I wrote a thing about there being a vault between the waters to separate water from water.” Actually (#actually), God called the vault “sky.”
*
The sport of curling is DIVIDED. Also, once I went on a little trip and came back and found that Steve had taped the curling events in the Olympics for me, and I was all “lol why?” and it turned out to be an ugly cultural stereotype he held about Canadians. And, to be fair, my high school teachers had a curling club they all participated in busily and seriously:
Perhaps unsurprising for a sport that has something in common with a household chore, the crux of the debate is fabric — specifically, something called directional fabric. The use of this material in broom pads is the latest escalation in an arms race among manufacturers, whereby the world’s best curlers can guide the 44-pound stone around a sheet of ice as if it were controlled by a joystick.
Sweeping with the brooms, which more closely resemble Swiffers than actual brooms, is considered an athletic skill in the sport. If that task is too easy, well, some curlers felt that it just wasn’t curling anymore.
*
If you are religious, you might enjoy this poem/prayer by Pierre Teilhard de Chardin. If you are not religious (or if you are very religious indeed), you may enjoy the teaser trailer for AGENT CARTER SEASON TWO: PEGGY TAKES L.A.)
*
Jez has a good piece on how the media’s coverage of Charlie Sheen’s HIV status is a real regression.
*
Are you following what’s happening at Harvard Law?
The morning after Harvard students and affiliates rallied in support of national calls for racial justice on campuses, someone has apparently vandalized the portraits of black professors at the law school.
Photos tweeted by Harvard PhD candidate Clint Smith show the portraits of tenured African American law professors, which are displayed in the law school’s main building, marked by black slashes of tape across their faces.
*
SET HIM ON FIRE (the father-in-law, not your son):
Dear Prudence,
My 1-year-old son was recently diagnosed with some very serious food allergies and given an EpiPen. Following our doctor’s advice, we are very vigilant to make sure he doesn’t accidentally eat anything he’s allergic to. My father-in-law (who watches him regularly) has expressed that he feels the best way to deal with allergies is to give him small amounts of what he is allergic to. I was worried my very stubborn father-in-law might ignore our instructions, but my husband convinced me I was being ridiculous. Recently however, at a family dinner, I came back from the bathroom to find him feeding my son something that had an ingredient he is allergic to. I asked him to stop and he said, “Don’t worry about it.” I got very upset because this is really dangerous, but he told me I was overreacting. I am furious now and worried about having my father-in-law spend time alone with my son in the future. Am I being crazy, or is he?
—Allergic to Father-in-Law
*
I decided to embrace Normcore Coffee a while back, which, of course, is its own pretension:
But, over time, people in the upper echelons of Good Coffee began to whisper that maybe manually brewed coffee is not all that Cool, at least not all the time: Humans, especially hastily trained ones who didn’t want to serve coffee their whole life, were way less consistent than machines (weird!), so one cup of pourover might taste pretty good, while the next tastes pretty bad; brewing coffee in a Chemex takes a long time and maybe the barista could be doing better things, like interacting with customers instead of staring glass-eyed into a pile of coffee grounds and slowly dripping water onto it like a dying flower bed; most customers—and there were so many customers these days—would be extremely happy to get their coffee in like five seconds instead of five minutes, even if it was slightly less Good; and also something something bed depth, refractometer readings blah blah, extraction yield yadda yadda. (Also, it did not help that a lot of Fake Good Coffee shops had emerged recently to take money from the growing ranks of people who now wanted Good Coffee, serving them bad coffee made with Cool Brewing Methods while saying all of the same things that Good Coffee shops tend to say, like, “meet the farmer, here is his picture, please enjoy consuming his soul with every drop.”)
*
when u lowkey need to get ur waiter’s attention @Lin_Manuel @leslieodomjr @DaveedDiggs @ChrisisSingin pic.twitter.com/6HwxIdZIis
— Hamilton’s Squad (@hamiltonssquad) November 19, 2015
*
just sent TWO EMAILS where I described my relationship with @Nicole_Cliffe thusly: “I want someday to be buried like a dog at her feet” ??? — Mallory Ortberg (@mallelis) November 19, 2015
