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Home: The Toast

My puppy is named Sansa, but I’m sure you can make the necessary edits to include your own dog or cat’s name.

By fourteen weeks, they placed her in charge of a
Snuggling charter

Inside, she was longing for something to be a part of
The puppy was ready to beg, steal, shake, or roll over

The world is gonna know your name. What’s your name, pup?

[key change is important here]
Sansa-Sansa Stark-y Stark
My name is Sansa-Sansa Stark-y Stark
And there’s a million things I haven’t done
But just you wait, just you wait…


What time is it? Show time! Show time! Yo!
I’m Sansa Stark in the place to be!
Two bowls of Taste of the Wild, but I’m workin’ on three, uh!
Those redcoats don’t want it with me!
Cuz I will chase chick-a chase these cats till I’m free!


I am not throwing away my ball!
I am not throwing away my ball!
Hey yo, I’m just like my country
I’m young, scrappy and hungry
And I’m not throwing away my ball!
I’m ‘a get a scholarship to puppy obedience classes
I prob’ly shouldn’t brag, but dag, I amaze and astonish
The problem is I got a lot of fur but no polish
I gotta bark just to be heard
With every yip, I drop knowledge!
I’m a diamond in the rough, a shiny piece of fuzz
Tryin’ to reach my goal. My power of speech: limited
Only ten weeks but my mind is older


Oh, am I woofin’ too loud?
Sometimes I get over excited, pee in the house
I never had a human family before
I promise that I’ll make y’all proud

LET’S GET THIS PUPPY IN FRONT OF A CROWD!


Eliza, I’m lookin’ for a pup to kiss
I’m lookin’ for a pup to kiss
I’m lookin’ for a pup to kiss
Whooaaaaa!

Whooaaaaa!
KISS!


I’ve been reading a puppy book by The Monks of New Skete
So men say that I’m intense or I’m insane
You want a revolution? I want a revelation
So listen to my declaration:

“We hold these truths to be self-evident
That all dogs are created equal”

And when I meet Thomas Jefferson

Unh!

I’m ‘a compel him to include BITCHES/KITTIES* in the sequel!

Kiss!

*singer’s choice


History is happening in Manhattan and you just happen to be
The cutest puppy in the world!
The cutest puppy in the world!


You say our walk is draining and you can’t go on
You’ll be the one complaining when I am gone…
And no, don’t be sad, lil puppy
Cuz you’re my favorite puppy
My sweet, submissive puppy
My loyal, royal puppy
Forever and ever and ever and ever and ever…

You’ll be back
Like before
I will fight the fight and win the war
For your love
For your praise
And I’ll love you till my dying days
When you’re gone
I’ll go mad
So don’t throw away this thing we had
Cuz when push comes to shove
I will cuddle other puppies in front of you
To remind you of my love


(every single word of Helpless with no edits whatsoever)


I remember that dreamlike candlelight
Like a dream that you can’t quite place

But Sansa, I’ll never forget the first
Time I saw your face

I have never been the same
Little brown eyes in a fuzzy-gray frame
And when you said “yip,” I forgot my dang name
Set my heart aflame, nothing was the same

Let’s play a gaaaame


Handsome, girl, does she know it!
Peach fuzz, and watch her grow it!
I wanna take her far away from this place
Then I turn and see my kitty-cat’s face and she is…

Super-pissed…

And I know she is…

Super-pissed…

And her eyes are just…

SUPER-PISSED…


Sansa gives me kisses everyday
She’s keeping the bed warm while my husband is away
He’s sleeping in the guest room
He’s got a terrible, contagious head cold
But he can keep all of the guest room
Sansa, she’s mine


Five!
Walk before the sun is in the sky

Pick a place to pee where it’s high and dry
Number six!

Leave a note for your next of kin
Tell ‘em where you’re going. Pray to heaven it stops snowing.


Dear Sansa-Sansa, what to say to you?
You have your mother’s eyes. You have a fictional character’s name

When you came into the house, you yipped and it broke my heart

I’m dedicating every day to you
Domestic life was never quite my style
When you wag, you knock me out, I fall apart
And I thought I was so smart

Oh Sansa, when you smile I am undone
My pup
Look at my pup! Pride is not the word I’m looking for

There is so much more inside me now
Oh Sansa, you outshine the morning sun
My pup
When you smile, I fall apart
And I thought I was so smart
Your father wasn’t around

Your father wasn’t around

I swear that
I’ll be around for you.
I’ll do whatever it takes

I’ll make a million mistakes

I’ll make the world safe and sound for you…


Why do you assume you’re the cutest in the room?
Why do you assume you’re the cutest in the room?
Why do you assume you’re the cutest in the room?
Soon that attitude may be your doom!

Why do you eat like you’re running out of food?
Eat day and night like you’re running out of food?
Ev’ry day you eat, like you’re running out of food


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