Lexon Radio, $89.99 (was $159) We have reached peak holiday shopping this week and we have HAD IT. This is no longer fun. This is all stupid and a waste of time and money and we should all be ashamed of ourselves. That said, you know how you keep wishing your dining chair was a radio?
Brave Soul Twill Parka with Hood, $54 (was $153) This jacket is perfect, especially since it doesn’t get actually cold any more.
This Thing?, $18 (was $31) At first I was kidding with this one, but now I’m not sure. It might be great? Send help.
Clinique Holiday Helpers, $29.50 (was $39.50/$85 value) If you don’t have a mom, I’m sorry. (Unless you don’t have her by choice, in which case, good for you.) If you do have a mom, then you are related to someone who likes Clinique. You will be the favorite this year.
Zebra Bracelet, $16.80 with code BRNICK (was $39.50) The great thing about being single is that you can’t expect anyone to buy you the right dumb jewelry, you just get to do it for yourself. If you are not bold enough for the zebras, this one is on sale too.
Fashion Foodie Temporary Nail Tattoo Set, $3 (were $10) Almost everything about this ticks me off — the “tattoo” part, which is like huh?; the “foodie” part which is like, what? — except then they won me over by offering not one but two varieties of pizza.
Chi Blushing Beauty Travel Kit, $99.95 (was $149.95) This is cute.
VOLT Slingback Flats, $6. SIX DOLLARS. Six dollars. SiX dOlLaRs! (were $40) Surely one of you likes these? I don’t, but they ARE only six American dollars. (Just want to make sure you caught that.)
Bettina Gown, $900 (was $2,340) All I’ve ever really hoped to accomplish with this column is exposing some lucky lady to her dream wedding dress at a deep discount. And I don’t even believe in marriage (any longer)! Please invite me to your wedding?
And finally, my gift to you is the reminder that once upon a time Salt-n-Pepa, Onyx, Keith Murray, Snoop Dogg, Mase, and Rev Run once made a Christmas song: