Gigi, Mostly -The Toast

GASTON: how I tire of wealth and influence
how money bores me

MADAME ALVAREZ: we are glad you find time to visit our small apartment
the electricity is out at the moment, I hope you don’t mind

GASTON: how I tire of my string of wealthy mistresses
of the eyes of the world, always upon me
of the endless parties, of the new cars, the gallery openings, the nightclubs and the cafes

MADAME ALVAREZ: well
as you know
we are very poor

GASTON: yes, and I love that about you
promise me you will always be poor
everyone else in my life is rich and tiresome but you

MADAME ALVAREZ: if only there were some solution to both of our problems
you, who are so tired of wealth
and my family, which is, as I mentioned before, extremely poor –

GASTON: it is such a comfort to me, how poor you are
knowing you will never be jaded by the pleasures of the idle rich
if only you could get poorer and simpler by the day

MADAME ALVAREZ: well
as always
thank you for visiting and sharing our humble supper
perhaps next time we could have dinner at your home

GASTON: it would be so tiresome
all they ever serve at home are pheasants and champagne

GIGI: I am so hungry

GASTON: ahahaha
how you amuse me, Gigi
delightful
[a pause]
well, I’m off

GIGI: hello, Gaston

GASTON: what is this
what in the hell is this

GIGI: it’s a new dress

GASTON: I hate it
you look like an adult human
like a woman who might
go inside of a building
or have a conversation with someone wearing a hat
they’ve absolutely ruined you
I remember when you were a giraffe wearing a mud suit living in a cave
you were splendid then

Gigi, Mostly

ByDaniel Mallory Ortberg