I generally do try to avoid making public fun of NY Times Vows couples because I know all LOVE is IMPORTANT and DIFFERENT and I’m generally glad when people find happiness, no matter how much they sound like people I would not personally enjoy spending time with. However, there’s something in last week’s column that needs to be addressed.

Everyone stop saying “supertaster.”

First off, thank GOD they found each other because otherwise this man might be roving the country, administering tongue tests anytime someone can’t finish their Broccoli Rabe. Second, I KNOW IT’S A THING YOU DON’T HAVE TO TELL ME IT’S A THING. But does anyone else find it odd that we use the word “supertaster,” as if you are somehow better at tasting than the rest of us, when what it really means is that you cannot enjoy flavorful lettuces? Supertaster? More like Inferiortaster!

What I did not know is that it seems like a lot of people claiming to be supertasters just don’t like greens and cilantro and are trying to use some fancy medical terms to make up for it. I looked up that “supertaster test” and aside from bitter vegetables, the other hallmark of a supertaster is finding “highly fatty and sugary foods less palatable than non-tasters.” So no, dude who wiped his parsley off his dinner but continues to eat cheeseburgers every day, you are not a supertaster you just are predisposed for scurvy.

“Whoa, Jaya, this sure is a lot of vitriol for a condition that you, as a non medical professional, know very little about.” Well good thing there’s Google. Apparently there are some theories that being a Sensitive Mouth Person gave some people an evolutionary advantage because they avoided potentially toxic plants. Great. I will gladly get lost in the woods with a supertaster, you have that advantage.

Okay ugh fine taste however you want just don’t act like it’s the end of the world when your taco has cilantro on it.